Irritable Middle Aged Guy

Some Things Are Meant to Last.

2011-12-21T03:01:00.002-05:00

20 Years ago today, I married my Best Friend, a.k.a My Darling Bride.

Our Anniversary Gathering was last Saturday. An evening made amazing by our Family, and even more amazing by the fact that 3/4 of our Wedding Party were there.

I guess we picked right.

Below is the text of a list I read out to the gathered masses, followed by a dance with M.D.B.

It's just like "The Twelve Days of Christmas", except some numbers are repeated others either exaggerated or lessened, and it doesn't rhyme.

Other than that...

20 Years...

19 Backyard Parties (that I can recall)

18 nights in the doghouse

17 Sleepless nights

16 Birthday Parties Hosted

15 cars

14 Coffee Makers

13 car breakdowns

Dozens of kittens

11 cell phones

10 BBQ’s

9 cats

8 jobs

7 mattresses

6 stoves

6 TV’s

6 computers

5 fridges

4 ½ dogs

4 renovations

4 washers

4 lawnmowers

3 dryers

3 trailers of all types

2 freezers

2 dishwashers

2 couches

2 addresses

2 Offspring

1 Wedding Ring

Some things are meant to last.

Happy Anniversary.

With love,

DJW

no one had even close to 20 years in the pool!

I Don't Want Any NIMBY's Around Here!

2011-12-01T21:04:00.007-05:00

You all know what a NIMBY is, right?

NIMBY is an acronym for Not In My Back Yard.

They are the people that don't want a thing built near where they live, regardless of the overall good. You know, things like jails, sewage treatment plants, Meth Clinics, etc.

I've witnessed protests over a group home for the Mentally Challenged. No guff.

Several years ago, when an area Municipality was planning a landfill in a rural area, it bought all the houses around it, and sat on them until the landfill was in place. It then offered them for sale. The purchasers knew full well that their neighbor would be a landfill. No way they could complain then.

I've written about it before.

But this one really gets my goat.

Hydro Generating Stations are a needed item because, well, we use a lot of electricity.

We need to close down the coal fired plants. Coal bad.

Nuclear has stigma.

So the best option is gas fired.

And you build it close to where you need it. Makes sense, right?

A number of years ago, a gas fired plant was proposed for Milton, Ontario, near Toronto and Canada's fastest growing community. Made sense, right?

Well, a bunch of NIMBY's stood up and shouted, signs were put up, politicians called, petetions signed and a general hullabaloo went out.

No, way, not in Milton.

So they built the plant across the road, in Halton Hills. They welcomed the tax money.

I kid you not.

In the picture on the right, the road in the bottom left is the border between the two towns.

Read more here.

Fast forward to a few months ago. (Fast forward to the past? Bear with me...)

During the recent election, NIMBY's in a Mississauga riding badgered the politicians to stop the already started gas fired generating station in thier neighbourhood.

A plant that had already gone through all the approval processes, studies, public consultations and miles of red tape to get it off the ground. That took years.

Well, one of the Candidates that promised to stop the already started construction actually got elected. And the constituents are holding him to his promise.

So a multibillion dollar project is currently sitting almost idle.

Two things remain:

The need for the plant
The bill

Its not like moving the piano.

The Government can't just say to the Contractor, "Our bad. We want you to put it over there---->"

Contracts were entered into, and have to be paid, whether it gets built there or not.

And the plant still needs to be built somewhere. And that takes years to set up.

In my mind there are three solutions:

Cancel the project, move it elsewhere at a cost of several billion dollars to all of the taxpayers
Cancel the project, move it elsewhere and split the cost between all the NIMBY's
Buy all the NIMBY's houses, and move them elsewhere.

The first solution is possible.

The second solution would be karma.

The last solution is probably the most practical, least expensive, and therefore least likely.

DJW

Just don't move the NIMBY's to my neighbourhood.

No Checkers or Wreckers For Me.

2011-11-16T19:38:00.003-05:00

Below is a copy of the message I've sent to my cable provider and the 2 major sports networks here...

NASCAR is one of the most popular spectator sports in North America.

This Sunday is the season championship, with only 3 points between the 2 top teams.

I can't watch it.

I can watch Horse Racing, Australian Auto Racing, CFL, NFL and Soccer in 2 languages.

Unless, of course I spend even more money on cable for a bunch more channels I don't watch.

Would TSN or Sportsnet consider NOT carrying the Grey Cup or the Superbowl?

I don't think so.

DJW

TV by satellite is getting more attractive...

Unlike the Other Guys....

2011-10-28T20:18:00.002-04:00

..These folks stand by their work!

Back in March I bought a used VW Jetta TDI.

Very used.

Ten years old with 375,000 km on it.

Having done my research on these cars I knew several things; they were reliable, great on fuel, and people who liked them, really liked them. Most of the people selling them were doing so because they had replaced them with a new VW.

A true testament to any car, repeat sales.

Anyway, I got a good deal because of the high mileage. (why don't we call it kilometerage?) The previous owner drove a regular route from Windsor to Montreal on less than a tank of diesel. 900 km.

The first thing I did was have the timing belt and water pump replaced. It was still within my budget, and left me worry free about that major cost.

Then it started.

The service.

It seems VW has a points program ala Air Miles. I received enough points on that first service for a free alignment.

An oil change at my local VW Dealer is about the same price as taking it to one of those in-and-out lube places. And I get a free car wash. I like these guys!

Given the age and usage of Otto (my Jetta's name), some blemishes were to be expected. The paint had peeled on a few spots, but there was no real rust. I fugured I'd just sand it down and spot paint the places.

That was until I found out about the warranty.

A colleague of mine has 4 VW's in her driveway. She told me that there was a 12 year warranty on the paint, and all I had to do was take it to VW to be fixed.

Yeah, right. Two of our previous vehicles had some parts with 'lifetime' warranties which to that manufacturer meant 10 years. A twelve year warranty on paint? For the second owner?

I say again; yeah, right.

So anyway, the next time I had Otto in for an oil change, I asked about the paint.

"Yes, we have a 12 year warranty," was the reply.

"No poop?" I was agog.

"No poop. Let the Service Manager have a look and we'll see what we can do."

So the S.M. comes out with a little gauge and looks at my car. A few spots had been painted before (that's what the little gauge did), and wouldn't be covered again. For the rest I had to have pictures taken, and submitted to head office for approval.

That was July.

So I fixed up the other spots myself, and waited to hear back from VW.

And waited.

And waited.

In late September I had given up on having my car fixed, and just a few days after M.D.B. mentioned that it didn't look like it was going to happen, the phone rang.

VW Canada approved the repairs.

No poop.

I had to arrange a convenient time with the body shop, and give them enough lead time to order parts.

"Parts?"

They weren't repainting the fenders, they were replacing them. 10 years old and almost 390,000 km and getting new fenders.

No poop.

I picked Otto up today. Not only did they replace his fenders, he got new door skins and new mirrors too!

No poop!

VW's warranty and service is awesome!

I have the feeling this wont be my last VW.

M.D.B is waiting for them to come out with a Touareg TDI

DJW

Unfortunately, they didn't accidentally paint my hood, which I messed up, and will have to do over.

This Blog Not Guaranteed

2011-10-23T18:09:00.005-04:00

This Blog, as life, carries no guarantees.

Many things I buy, as you do too I'm sure, have guarantee's, warranties, certainties and other 'tees.

Earlier today, I asked M.D.B. to compose a list of items we purchased that failed while still under warranty.

It was longer than I thought it would be.

I asked her to compile this list as I was on the way out the door to replace our kitchen faucet. One of those ones that you buy for its looks, and buy it for life.

Yeah, that one.

Last year, a little piece in its pull out nozzle sprayer thingy broke. I took the nozzle sprayer thingy bit back to the store I bought it from to cash in on the lifetime guarantee and get a new part.

No dice.

I would have had to send the part to the manufacturer (rhymes with groan) for my replacement. I bought a replacement nozzle sprayer thingy that fit and carried on. This week it started to leak out of the top of the handle. I took the whole faucet with me to my local home improvement store, which just happened to be having a sale on a competitor's model. When I explained to the Helpful Associate what part I felt I needed, I got the same story as before, contact the manufacturer.

What am I supposed to do while I wait for a part? Use the garden hose? Can I get a loaner faucet? When I had warranty work done on my car I was given a loaner. I bought the competitors tap.

So, back to the list.

Most of our small appliances have broken under warranty and some have been repaired, some others we just bought new ones.

Microwaves (that's plural), Rice Cookers, Can Openers, multiple Coffee Makers (we now keep a spare) and the like.

One retailer we frequent offers an extended warranty on most small appliances for an extra charge. We usually bought it. We were glad we did when a high end Coffee Maker we purchased crapped out a few months after we bought it. It was replaced without question. When the second one quit while still within the 2 year period, it was not replaced. Only one replacement per unit. So when we bought the next brewer (not the same brand) we declined the extended warranty.

When a six month old T.V. quit a few years back, we contacted the manufacturer for warranty info. We were told that that model was exclusive to one retailer (rhymes with fall cart) and all we had to do was go back there and get a new one. When I wheeled the unit up to Customer Service I was met with the obvious question, "T.V. broke?" My reply:"Nope, I just hate to miss my shows." (I sent that one to Bill Engval) It seems they knew nothing of the warranty deal, and tried to get me to send it to the manufacturer. I told them that the manufacturer sent me to them. And the phone Olympics began. In the end, I got a new T.V., that night even. It just took a little work.

When our then 3 1/2 year old furnace broke a number of years ago, I sent a nastygram off to the manufacturer complaining about the repair cost on a basically new unit. They told me it had a 5 year warranty and I shouldn't have been charged. The repair guy told me to contact the installer, who told me to contact the retailer I bought it from, who told me to contact the manufacturer, who told me to contact the repair guy.

This is the song that never ends....

We never did get reimbursed. We also didn't replace it with that brand last year. We didn't want to get Rheem'd again.

Then there was the stove that quit 10 minutes after the warranty ran out.

And the washing machine that only lasted 7 years.

So my point is (at last, a point!) : what good is a warranty if it is next to impossible to collect on it?

I hope the toilet we bought with a lifetime warranty earlier this year never has to go in the shop.

If it does I hope we get a loaner.

DJW

Any warranties, written or implied, are at the sole discretion of the warrantor, and may be made null and void by actual use or misuse of the product described herein, and are not transferable to another owner, living or dead, and may not be used in your next life either, and any damages caused by the use, misuse or abuse of this product are the sole responsibility of the owner, not our fault, all yours, nyah nyah.
Void where prohibited by law.
And Quebec.

Small Town Hospitality?

2011-09-02T23:47:00.009-04:00

I know its been a while.

Been a busy spring/summer here and 'honeydo' lists as long as yer arm.

And it's not like I have a deadline or anything.

So I have some catching up to do.

My first berate is about small town hospitality.

When I was young, I was taught the golden rule; 'Do unto others...' I have pretty much followed that. When I see someone in distress, I help out, do what I can, and if they offer payment, I tell them to just pass it on in kind.

Pay it forward, so to speak.

There, I got my digression out early.

Several weeks ago, M.D.B. and I were out on a tour of car lots on a Saturday evening. We were tire shopping or window kicking, your choice. The reason for this is because you don't get swarmed by salespeople when the lots are closed. (I hate that)

We were driving from Stratford towards Kitchener when Odie, our '98 Windstar, started acting up.

Electrical issues. And oh yeah, it started to rain. After a 3 week drought.

I pointed south aiming for home.

Lights out unless we needed them, no radio, A/C or anything that would use power.

We made it to Tavistock before it dies, and I armstrong steered, blind, into a lot beside a Timmy's.

Can't put the windows up, no power.

We went into Tim's, got a coffee, and called for the hook. Our friend owns a towing service, and we knew we could count on him. (The irony was that our CAA was just activated that day and didn't cover towing yet.)

The rain let up and we went back out. I popped the tailgate open and got out the lawnchairs for M.D.B. and myself, then I popped the hood to look around. Nothing I could do, so we sat, drank our coffee, and watched the traffic at Tim's

Hood up, watching cars.

Fun and games in Tavistock on a Saturday Night.

Many people drove in and out of Timmies, looked at us with our hood up, and said nothing. Not one local asked us us if we needed help or a boost or a phone.

Nothing.

Where I'm from, an open hood is a signal for help. Apparently in Tavistock, its amusement.

After a while, M.D.B. and I wanted to start throwing up score cards.

Much sooner than expected, Jay from Affordable Towing and Recovery showed up, and loaded up Odie for his last trip home.

So, are we that jaded now that we don't offer help to people obviously in distress?

Or does no one give a shit anymore?

Oh, and never go shopping for a new vehicle in the one you are replacing.

It hurts their feelings.

DJW

Odie has been replaced by Geri, a very gently used Rendezvous, and M.D.B. is very happy.

This Just In...

2011-02-15T11:55:00.006-05:00

News item: the City of Fort Wayne, Indiana, has a problem.

The majority of people responding to a survey wish to name a new Government building after a former mayor, Harry Baals.

I don't make this stuff up!

I couldn't make this up!

Well, yeah I could, but I didn't!

Honest!

Full story here and video here.

DJW

Sometimes this stuff just writes itself.

Nuclear Shmooclear

2011-02-09T12:23:00.003-05:00

Big hullabaloo in the news.

Bruce Nuclear in Ontario has 16 radioactive generators that need recycling.

The only place that does this kind of work (gotta admit, it's kind of specialized) is in Sweden, 1/2 a world away.

So lets load them on boats and send off to be reborn as glow in the dark Swiss watches, right?

Wrong, the Mayors of 70 some odd cities along the shipping route don't want them going past their towns.

Afraid of the danger.

The experts all say the amount of nuke is similar to a chest x-ray.

Well, are they offering solutions?

Nope.

How about loading them on trucks and driving them across the frozen tundra of the north next winter?

There could be a TV series: Ice Road Nukes.

Or maybe swarms of Pegasus's (Pegasii?) could carry them aloft to their final destination.

Oh, Oh! I got it!

Put the names of all the offended cities in a hat, draw out 16 names, and they get to store one each for perpetuity.

Bloody idiots.

DJW

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

False Remembrance

2010-11-06T14:27:00.010-04:00

This is of course the time of year for remembrance.
With the end of WWII now 65 years past, and Korea 57 years gone, our aging Veterans are becoming ghosts.

Since Korea, over 200 Canadian Servicemen and Women have lost their lives in Peacekeeping roles and Afghanistan.

Since 1922, The Royal Canadian Legion's annual Poppy Campaign has raised funds to support disabled, and now aged, Veterans. That loose change that you contribute to buy a poppy (or if you're like most of us, several because you lose them) every year goes directly to Veterans in your community.

And we all know what the Poppy looks like. The familiar image at the right is what we are all used to.

I'm a frequent flier at Canada's most popular coffee and pastry chain, and I've noticed this week, that staff at many of the stores are wearing a stylized poppy on their tops and visors similar to the one below...

A closer look reveals its a sticker!

I was served by a Manager today and asked him what was up with the poppy stickers. He said that the poppy pin falls off a lot and gets lost, so Corporate set them up with sheets of these stickers for staff to wear.

They aren't even buying them from the Legion!

Cheaters.

And further, every one of the outlets I've been in this week has a box of poppies on the counter!

I put a quarter in the box and gave the Manager a poppy.

DJW

At the going down of the sun,
And in the morning,
We will remember Them.

Dang, Another Delay

2010-10-21T16:43:00.002-04:00

It seems the end is not so near after all.

Yahoo News reports that there may have been a mistake in the Mayan Calendar, and the world may not end on December 21st, 2012. (Interestingly, my 21st Wedding Anniversary.)

It says that there may be an error of between 50 to 100 years.

So either the end has been delayed, or it's already happened.

I guess I'll have to keep up with my taxes after all.

DJW

Sign seen on a coin operated air pump, Air $1.00, HST included.
Yes, they have found a way to tax air.

It Happens

2010-08-07T22:50:00.004-04:00

Construction.

The saying goes, "We have two seasons here, winter, and construction."

Well, I'm here to tell you folks, that ain't so anymore.

Surveying is, I lost count, my 4th or 5th career, and is the one I should have started with. I've been at it now more than a decade, and have never been laid off in the winter. For the last 10 years, I've worked for a municipality, and I've worked winters.

My colleagues have witnessed me with icicles hanging from my eyelashes, and my coffee has frozen in the cup before I could finish it.

The point is construction is year round now, just more difficult in the colder months.

More to the point is, people complain.

They complain about how rough the road is, then they complain when we tear it up to fix it.

They complain about watermain breaks then complain when we make a mess to replace it.

They complain when the road isn't wide enough then complain we we close lanes while we make it wider.

I was working today (Saturday), preparing for watermain construction, when a lady pulled up and asked what we were up to. When I told her, she swore at me and drove off.

Construction needs to happen folks. Aging infrastructure needs replacing and upgrading, (Walkerton, anyone?)

We do our best to limit the impact of construction on the local residents and businesses. We send out notices, hold meetings, and post signs. When the work is happening, we do our best to accommodate those directly involved, the residents and businesses where we are working.

Those just passing through just have to put up with it.

We've worked Saturday's and Sunday's.

We've worked nights on long weekends to keep roads open in the daytime.

We go out of our way to keep people happy while we disrupt the general routine.

I once went and bought bottled water to supply a daycare while we repaired their water service.

We hear a lot of complaints, and few compliments...

...and the end result is usually an improvement on the quality of life.

DJW

This was an actual Public Service Message from an actual Public Servant.

How to Regruntle a Disgruntled Customer

2010-07-10T23:17:00.005-04:00

Only I would go out to buy a washing machine and come home with a fridge.

O.K. We.

M.D.B. was involved with this.

Anyhow, the washer was dead, and laundromats are mostly for losers and apartment dwellers, (we were there for a few months to assess ) so we went in search of a new unit.

M.D.B. did what she does well, investigated what was the best value, and off we went on a an appliance safari.

One of the major players had a, "Don't pay a cent event" on, but we don't have a credit history with them, so they didn't want to play.

Another chain didn't have the brands we wanted.

A third chain had what we wanted, in stock, and ready to go. I had been dealing with them since 1989. So lets write it up. While M.D.B sat with the 'Sales Associate', I wandered. In the scratch and dent section was a small fridge for $140. With our current domestic lineup we are going through a lot of fresh veggies and fluids every day, requiring thrice weekly shopping trips. A second fridge (our main is 17 cubes of all fridge) would be useful. We could use this one for fluids, (including beer) and save the main fridge for food stuffs.

Then the "Sales Associate' came back to us. Because we don't have a major credit card, he couldn't help us. Never mind the 20+ year history I have with the chain.

Fine.

Let's take the fridge for cash and go.

We take the fridge home, let it sit, plug it in, and let it work overnight.

Still warm in the a.m.

Still warm in the p.m.

We bought it 'as is.'

This isn't going to be easy.

So I load it back into the van, and all the way to the store I am going over my script.

"I know I bought it as-is. But I bought a refrigerator. This is a storage cabinet."

...or...

"I bought it yesterday. If I don't get a refund, I will stand in the middle of your store and tell everyone in a very loud voice... and I can be very loud... how they will be on their own as soon as you have their money"

When I get to the store, I loaded the unit onto my own dolly, and wheeled it through the front door. Right to the customer service desk. (By the way, this is a bar/hotel sized fridge. I am not Lou Ferrigno.)

The cheerful lass behind the desk chirps the obligatory, "Can I help you?"

Me: "I bought this fridge yesterday, and it doesn't work" and I produce the receipt.

Cheerful Lass: "Would you like a refund?"

Me: "Um, ya."

C.L.: "O.K." and proceeds to punch a bunch of info into a a computer.

C.L.: "Can you wait her a sec, while I go talk to my manager?"

Me: "O.K."... Here it comes.

A few minutes later, Cheerful Lass emerges, and utters the following statement... "Sir, I see you've been a customer here a long time. So we will give you a new fridge, at the scratch and dent price.

Me: "Ah, O.K."

C.L. " And I see you live in another city, would you like us to ship it to our store there? It would be there the day after tomorrow."

Me: "Ah, ah O.K."

C.L. "O.K. You can pick it up after 4p.m., the day after tomorrow."

Me: "Ah, ah, ah, thanks."

And sure enough, the day after tomorrow, there was a brand new fridge in a box waiting for me at my local The Brick store.

So kudos to The Brick Burlington. Good customer service gets you repeat customers.

For the record, one week later, we bought our new washer/dryer at The Brick, paid cash, and deliberately snubbed the first 'Sales Associate.'

DJW

Service is half the sale!

Grief is a Journey

2010-06-20T11:17:00.008-04:00

A year ago today my life and lives of my family changed forever.

Ma, Nan, Great-Nan, Sister, Auntie M.

Gone.

A constant in all our lives was no more.

Replaced by a new constant.

We have all heard of the seven stages of grief, and we all know we will go through them. Usually in some degree by the time we are 10. A pet, a grandparent, a friend of the family. An unfortunate part of growing up and learning about life is learning about about death.

The Seven Stages are:

Shock & Denial
Pain & Guilt
Anger & Bargaining
Depression, Reflection & Loneliness
The Upward Turn
Reconstruction & Working Through
Acceptance & Hope (source recover-from-grief.com but they are all pretty much the same)

There. Just like that. In that order. Like assembly instructions for a bar-b-cue.

Well, either I'm doing it wrong or the instructions are wrong.

I've already completed up to Steps 4a, 6a & b, and Step 7a. My Step 5 is missing and Step 7b doesn't apply.

I'm still working on Step 4b & c.

Today normally I would be visiting Pa and giving him a funny card, some scratch lottery tickets (Cash for Life to spite Ma) and crosswords. Ma would be fussing over us and getting us drinks and cookies and trying to slip cash in our pockets when we weren't looking. I would be telling him about all the features of my first ever brand new lawnmower, a gift from M.D.B. and all The Thing's. Later Ma would call at suppertime (whenever that was, I never knew how she did that) to tell us how much they enjoyed the visit.

My point? (omg he has a point!)

There is no instruction manual for life. Or death. Or grieving.

Tab A doesn't always fit in Slot B. Sometimes there isn't even a Slot to fill.

Like parenting, it's all on the job training.

Other duties as assigned.

DJW

Happy Fathers Day, Pa. We miss you and Ma.

Everyday.

...Little Pink Houses, For You And Me...

2010-06-16T19:06:00.002-04:00

When last we left David and Anna, they were sitting there with a handful of past due and disconnect notices, worried about how they were going to pay the mortgage. They had a plan, but the banks and mortgage companies shrugged them off as too small time. (click the link above to read their story)

The wolf wasn't at the door; it had puppies on the porch.

It turns out more people read my blog than I figured.

I was contacted by a Mortgage Broker (whose name was also David) who thought he might be able to help. I told him they had been that route, but he insisted he wanted to give it a shot.

So introductions were made, and my work here was done. Other than pay their bills myself, I did all I could do.

Last week I received this e-mail from Anna,

Dear DJ,

Thank you, thank you, thank you for getting us in touch with David at OMAC Mortgages. Not only did he find us a lender that would take us on with all our difficulties, they also absorbed our consumer proposal! And he got us a better rate than we could have hoped for! I couldn't believe all the calls and arrangements he made. He really jumped through all the hoops for us! Our bills are all paid, the mortgage is easy to manage, and Dave feels so much better! Its like we have a new life! Last week we had our last meeting with the Credit Counseling people and we will soon be fully discharged.

Thanks again!

Anna

Well who knew that my little blog could actually make a difference.

So I must give credit where credit is due (no pun intended). The Mortgage Broker with the Superhero Cape is David at OMAC Brantford (click for link)

What lessons can we take away here?

There is always a solution, it may not be very palatable or easy.

If you can't make someone see your vision, find someone who can.

Pride is good, but can't pay the bills.

DJW

For more info on consumer proposals and credit counseling, drop me a line.

Doing the Breakdown Breakdance

2010-06-13T21:03:00.002-04:00

One more icon of the past has fallen in Our Humble Castle.

Frigidaire.

Many of us in our middle age can remember our mother cooking on the same stove, washing our clothes with the same washer and the same shiny toaster sat on the counter for our entire lives it seemed.

The names were pre-war and they were built like the war machines that came from those same factories during the war.

Kelvinator, Admiral, Viking, General Electric and Frigidaire. All names synonymous with heavy duty reliability.

Not any more.

Like the fall of the Big Three auto manufacturers to Japanese quality, appliances I feel have gone the same way.

I've already told the tale of woe around our Frigidaire Range. The stove saga left a bad taste in my mouth for that brand.

Several months ago the bearing in our 7 year old Frigidaire Gallery front loading washer started to make noise. Being the handy guy I am, I squeezed into the closet it was in and removed the back to get at the complainer.

I couldn't believe what I found.

Sure enough, there was the bearing, and yup, it was stiff. But there was no way to remove it. It was moulded into the one piece drum assembly. A search of appliance repair sites on the net confirmed this reality. It also told me the replacement part was in the $200 range. Plus tax. And shipping.

A bearing of that size and type would have set me back $15 or so at my local T.S.C. Store.

So Frigidaire's little design feature led to 3 options:

costly replacement part
costly repair bill
costly replacement of the entire unit.

I chose option 3.

But not Frigidaire. Never again.

I don't think my Parents would ever have considered buying a Samsung appliance.

Times change.

Brands change.

Frigidaire did.

For the worse.

DJW

Have you been disappointed by a major appliance purchase?
Share with the class here.

Do Not Adjust Your Set...

2010-06-09T18:12:00.004-04:00

I've been on a hiatus of sorts.

More of a mental vacation.

It has been said that life is what happens to you while you are making other plans. I guess I've been making a lot of plans.

Some items for you to look forward to (or shy away from) :

Another episode of "Appliances Behaving Badly"
Grieving is a journey, not a process
More news on David and Anna (this time good things!)
How to disarm a disgruntled customer
A pet cleaning idea I wish I had

In the mean time, you can review some old favorites like Boil Water! I have to shave my legs! ;
Things that keep me awake, part one and part two and the popular When I am King.

To check on what I read, check out Lorraine Sommerfeld or Tanis, The Redneck Mommy.

And now, a breaking story...

...Micheal Jackson is still dead!

...please stay tuned.

DJW

DJ's horizontal hold needs a little tweak I think.

Most tasteless dead celebrity joke: Gary Coleman died of a different stroke!

Sometimes Bad Credit Happens To Good People

2010-04-17T11:47:00.006-04:00

Jack and Dianne.

Tommy and Gina.

David and Anna.

Small town couples with bigger dreams. Little houses and picket fences just like you and me.

The only difference is David and Anna* are real. *not their real names

This is their story.

They had decent jobs when they got married around twenty years ago. Lived in rented spaces with happy faces. Along came the kids and they wanted a house. More space for the happy little faces.

The little house they found was perfect for them.

With a lot of sweat equity they managed to double the value of the little house over the course of time. Mortgage free by 45 was the plan.

A bigger house would be nice, but this was theirs. Their little house.

David and Anna went back to school so they could get better jobs.

Anna quickly found full time work as an Administrator. David found part time casual work in Construction. Frequently he would be on longer projects. When they were both working, the money flowed and bills were paid and life was good.

The door was always open on their little house and everyone was always welcome.

The kids were growing and the little house was always alive with activity.

They even found time to volunteer in the community to give back.

Life tottled along quite well.

Then David got hurt.

Not at work.

Anna's benefits covered his meds, but he had no sick pay. David worked when he could, and Anna tried working a second job for a while, but her health began to suffer too.

They paid the bills with credit. And when the credit ran out they consolidated.

But, they never missed a payment on their little house.

David still worked as much as he could, but that depended on how well he was feeling, and on the phone ringing.

Again the bills piled up. This time, they took out a second mortgage on their little house. All the work they had done earlier paid off now. They had less than 5 years left on their first mortgage. All they had to do was make it another 5 years.

Then David got sicker, but still worked when he could. He never gave up. Anna did what she could. Worked overtime when she could, and cut corners where they could be cut. They would get by.

The money may have slowed, but the bills didn't. The phone did ring, but it was bill collectors. They didn't answer the phone if they didn't know who it was. The stress made David sicker. Anna became depressed.

Soon, everything they made went to paying the debt. Nothing left over for food and utilities. Vacations and cars were a dream. It seemed bankruptcy was inevitable.

They would lose their little house.

But even with two mortgages, they still never missed a payment on their little house.

The bankruptcy laws would allow them to keep X number of dollars based on how many people were in the little house. But it wasn't enough to pay the bills and and keep the little house. Also wasn't enough for rent and utilities on someone else's little house.

That's right, they couldn't afford to go bankrupt!

The next solution was called a consumer proposal. This is where you just go bankrupt on unsecured debt. Credit cards, consolidation loans, personal loans and the like. This seemed like the only way they could keep their little house.

Dave and Anna could breathe again. The bills were paid, the harassing phone calls stopped, and in less than three years the first mortgage would be paid!

Dave was feeling somewhat better and could work more, and did when he could. He was still dependent on the phone ringing, but at least he was in better shape, and less worried about the bills.

Then the roof caved in. Literally.

A series of crisis piled up.

A winter storm felled a branch on their little house, and the insurance didn't cover it all.

Catastrophic illness and death of family members coincided with a slip in David's health.

Another family member became homeless and David and Anna took him in.

The car and the truck both broke down. The car couldn't be repaired.

They got through.

There's a roof on their little house and food on the table.

They still never missed a payment on their little house. They now had less than a year to go on the 1st mortgage.

David was well enough to work more and was ready for the phone calls.

Except the only calls were from the bill collectors.

Now a new plan. The first mortgage on their little house is so small, that if they could refinance and roll the two together, they could live on Anna's income alone.

They talked to the bank. Bad credit, no dice.

They talked to a mortgage broker, same story.

They talked to the existing mortgagors. Nope. Because if Dave and Anna default, they'll get their money back easily. There is 10 months left on the first mortgage!

So there they sit, in their little house.

The mortgage vultures circling overhead...

...and they never missed a payment.

DJW

Life

2010-04-07T18:00:00.004-04:00

Sorry I haven't been out to play for a while.

I've been up to my neck in life, and I'm not that good a swimmer.

I will be back.

Just when you think your life is a trial by fire, you hear of someone who is worse off than you are.

Tanis Miller is the author of one of my favorite blogs, Attack of the Redneck Mommy.

She writes about her life a the mother of two teenagers and a severely challenged son, as a grieving parent, and as a forty-something wife in B.F. Alberta. She writes with humour, insight, tongue in cheek and a brassiness that only reveals that she is real.

She shares all in the stories of her dead son, life in rural Canada, tribulations of adoption, and sometimes a little cheekiness. Some postings require proof of age.

She is enduring yet another unfathomable crisis, something I've never been through, and hope I never will.

Give her a read, and if you can, some compassion and support.

And remember,

...There but for grace..

DJW

Caveat Emptor

2010-02-01T19:31:00.016-05:00

Buyer beware...

Curbsiders are unlicensed dealers in the business of selling cars, but who pose as private sellers. The vehicles they sell are often misrepresented, accident-damaged, odometer-tampered, stolen, or have liens against them.

Source: http://www.omvic.on.ca/

A few years back, when we had to replace our beloved Red Dwarf (1996 Windstar), we turned to internet classifieds to find a new ride. My Darling Bride spotted what appeared to be a good deal on Kijiji, an internet classified site with local pages. We met with a Lady selling a 2000 Grand Caravan for her in-laws at a local garage. It showed well, was certified and emissions tested and was a good price.

When we saw the ownership our hearts skipped a beat.

We knew the person selling it.

We went to High School with him.

We worked with him when we drove taxi's.

We knew him when he was a shady used car salesman working for fly by night dealers.

We knew he was a Curbsider.

We also knew where we could find him. And he knew it too.

When the 'new' power steering pump blew up 20 minutes after picking the van up we should have walked away then. But we gave him a chance to make it right and he did.

Within a year after we bought it the rust started to pop out like pimples before the prom.

Anyhow, I digress.

Last week, after a few years of minor wear and tear problems with that van, the death knell sounded when the timing belt let go.

So M.D.B set out on another Kijiji quest while I searched dealer sites. I wasn't doing well with the cash we had to work with, but she had a find. Newer, well optioned, safety checked and e-tested. I called the number, and was called back by a woman who said we could come look at it after her husband got home. She gave me her name, and then her husbands name and somewhere in my head there was a 'DING!' I asked for a last name and wasn't given the same one as the Curbsider of a few years ago. M.D.B. heard my ding and when a few checks on Canada 411 didn't set off any further alarms, so we decided to do a drive by in the daylight and headed for the address given.

When we pulled in the driveway, I was looking at the van, and M.D.B. spotted the name on the mailbox.

It was him.

We never even put the car in park.

How bad is it when you feel the need to give a false name over the phone when selling a car?

Later that same day...

...When the woman called us back (number blocked) to say her husband was home and we could come by, I told her they had burned us before, but not again.

I have heard other stories of a similar nature on Kijiji, but, I imagine it's much the same on most Classified web sites. Ads are usually free and you can hide behind some anonymity.

According to The Ontario's Motor Vehicle Industry Council's website, "Curbsiders account for approximately 25 per cent of used - vehicle classified ads..." They frequently have you meet them in a public place, use cell phones, don't have the required used car sellers package, and sell as-is.

Of course you get no guarantees.

If it smells bad, it probably is.

In the end, we bought from reputable dealer in business for more than 15 years, and got a warranty.

And we reported the curbsider.

Caveat Emptor....buyer beware

Operor non adepto dementis adepto vel...

...Don't get mad, get even.

DJW

So long, Bulwinkle.
Stand by for the naming of the new van.

Holding Pattern

2009-12-28T15:33:00.008-05:00

As I write this, I have been on hold for 33 minutes and counting with the customer service department of a major corporation.

If I don't get a human being to help me by the time I'm done writing, I will reveal the name of the company. I will tell you that they are a major oil company.

I have endured now, 36 minutes of an endless Musak loop of Elton John's Daniel. I wasn't fond of the song before, I am even less enamored with it now.

Why is it that so called "Customer Service" lines aren't anymore? Most of them have you go through an acrobatic charade of "Press 1 to be ignored, 2 to be sent back to 1, 3 for another useless menu, 4 to repeat this menu and 5 to be inexplicably disconnected.

43 minutes now...I'm almost ready to kick a puppy. 'Daniel my brother, do you still feel the same?' No, dammit! I feel neglected!

I went through a similarly frustrating experience a few years ago with my former cell provider. I had overpaid my final bill, and lo and behold, wanted a refund. They said that because I had paid via web banking, I would have to go through the bank. Didn't sound right to me, but who am I?

48 minutes...find me a rope!

So I did the phone calisthenics with the bank, explaining what the cell people told me. I was right the first time, the cell people had to issue the refund. The bank isn't a collection agency.

It took another 6 phone calls. On the second to last call, I again explained my problem (to 3 people over 45 minutes), that I had overpaid my bill and wanted a refund. If they couldn't issue me a refund, could they at least apply it to my cable bill? "Your cable bill? Sir, you've been talking to the cellular division, let me transfer you." NOOOOOOOOO000000ooooooo....

55 minutes...Elton John is OFF my playlist forever!

One service line I contacted recently at least had the decency to tell me up front that it was a 45 minute wait on hold. That, at least gave me an option. I hung up and called back the first thing the next day, only a 20 minute declared wait, which was actually 5.

62 minutes...the other people in my house are forming a lynch mob and the dog is whining.

I have had other, similar experiences, as I'm sure most of you have. Feel free to vent and share with Uncle DJ, and be sure that I won't put you on hold.

66 minutes on hold...Sunoco has horrible Customer Service. If you can call it that. I give up, you can keep your damn 'Performance Points'. They sure don't perform on the phone!

DJW

There, I feel better now.

A Pittance of Time....repost

2009-11-07T10:00:00.000-05:00

Reposted by request.

November 11th.

Of course at the Eleventh Hour of the Eleventh Day of the Eleventh Month I will be holding a salute for two minutes to honour the Fallen.

I hope to gather afterward with my Brothers at Arms to remember good times.

Singer/songwriter Terry Kelly wrote a powerful and poignant song a few years ago called A Pittance of Time. If you've never heard or seen it, please take five minutes out of your life to watch it. Just click on the blog title to see it.

I certainly can't add anything to his words and feelings except to repeat a sentiment I've heard recently...

...Some are born brothers, others earn it.

Lest We Forget.

DJW

Truly One of a Kind

2009-11-03T07:15:00.007-05:00

There is a fine line between tenacious and stubborn, and he didn't seem to know where that was.

In 1982, Doctors told him he would be in a wheelchair within 5 years.

A few months ago, he would use a walker whenever he could, and try to get away with using no help at all when he thought no one was looking.

"I'm only going from the chair to the bed," he would say.

He was stubborn like that.

His tenacity showed almost daily.

Perhaps it was because he was resourceful by nature, growing up in a small town in 1930's Nova Scotia. During the Depression you had to make do with what you had on hand.

Perhaps it was due to his quiet genius that he was compelled to find ways to figure things out.

I've told the story of how he built a motorcycle out of spare parts and rode that from New Brunswick to Ontario, but that is only one example of his ingenuity and resourcefulness...

...In the early 1950's Pa and Ma had 4 small children and bought a large house in a small village. It had almost everything they needed, lots of bedrooms, large yard and a small garage. Everything but indoor plumbing. An artesian well at the end of the driveway provided water for all surrounding homes. Pa simply tapped into the wellhead and ran the pipe into the house. He converted one of the bedrooms into a bathroom, installed a septic bed and plumbed the entire house.

Eventually, he drilled a well to supply the house. With the clearest water being below the hard pan, this was difficult. Drilling was expensive, and money was always tight on mechanics wages.

I can remember two well events. One involved driving a pipe down to the rock, dropping a point into the pipe, and following that with a half a stick of TNT. The blast drove the point though the rock into the water. That well lasted several years. For the next well, he built a pile driver. The rig used 3 long poles set up as a tripod, block and tackle and the driver run by the drive wheel of a 1964 Mercury with the tire removed from the rim.

...When music became amplified, his violin wasn't. He took the pick up from an electric guitar, fashioned a clip to hold it to his fiddle, and Viola! His first electric violin!

...When my Brother's constant pounding on the piano interfered with the TV, a series of jacks were installed on the side of the cabinet and headphones were adapted. Taa- daa, personal viewing in the 1960's.

...In the 60's and early 70's he worked for an AMC Dealer. When the 1971 Javelin came out with its rear valve cover bolts under the firewall, AMC's solution to get at them was to drop the rear cross member and tilt the motor back. Pa's solution was to design and build a wrench bent in such a way to get at them. AMC eventually made these wrenches available to all their mechanics.

...In the 1970's Pa went to work for the City. Every year, plow operators would forget where the manhole lids were, and with the first snowfall, would tear chunks out the plow blades. His solution was to put 1" high 'skids' on the bottom of the blades, saving them from extreme damage. This is now a standard attachment on all snowplows everywhere.

...The garage where we fixed our own cars was at my Aunt and Uncle's house nearby. When it burned down in 1981, everyone chipped in to rebuild it, bigger and better. The new garage lacked an air compressor, and those were prohibitively expensive at the time. The Old Man cobbled together a unit comprised of 2 HP electric motor, a 2 stroke lawnmower engine, a small water tank and a limiting switch. It wasn't strong enough to run air tools, but it could fill tires and run a paint gun. It still works.

Over his lifetime, he became the go to guy to solve all types of mechanical, electrical and general engineering difficulties.

If it could be built, he could build it.

If it could be fixed, he could fix it.

He wasn't Mac Gyver...Mac Gyver studied him.

If I've learned one thing from him, it was to never give up, there is always a solution. Tenacity was his chief virtue.

There is a fine line between tenacious and stubborn, and he didn't seem to know where that was.

They told him years ago he only had months to live.

Months ago, weeks.

Weeks ago, days.

He proved them wrong again.

He was stubborn like that.

Somewhere, the sweetest fiddle music plays again.

DJW

Can You Believe This?

2009-10-28T11:43:00.007-04:00

I don't make this stuff up.

The link (including TV ad) is here.

Thing 2 wants 8 of them.

DJW

DJ's Sea Mokey's didn't survive the great toilet flood of 1973.

"Hello, Complaint Department?"

2009-10-18T10:12:00.004-04:00

A recent errand run around the Megatropolis that I live in yielded me a bevy of observations of people and things that just plain tick me off.

First off, I was so unaware that we had such a collection of V.I.P.'s* near here. *Various Idiots & Peon's

I constantly see their limo's* parked at or near store entrances in plaza's with acre's of parking! *minivans and dusty 80's Oldsmobiles It makes me think that they are all Getaway Driver's! And it doesn't seem to matter the value of the store either! Grandpa's Buick in front of Price Choppers or, get this, a Hummer (H2, of course) blocking 3 cars at Starbucks. (for a reeeaaly bad, overpriced coffee. More on that in another column)

Don't get me started on Handicapped, or to be P.C., Accessible Parking.

OK, I'm started.

Those spots are for people with mobility problems, dammit!
Not for you 'cuz you're only gonna be a minute, not for you because you have the impaired person in the car and you're gonna run in for them, but for the actual people.

There's a guy at work that deals with this beautifully. He stands about 6 foot, runs about 220 lbs and has a lot of tattoo's. Looks like a Biker because he is. His wife is wheelchair bound. He goes up to people who park in these spots without entitlement and politely suggests they move. Should they resist, he suggests more strongly. He's been known to block offending vehicles while he and his wife go enjoy a leisurely dinner.

When did a red light become the signal for 2 or three more cars to proceed? Or trucks to just ignore?

A light near my office has transports running it on the way to the highway, sometimes they even sound the horn to clear the way! I was nearly squashed last week waiting to turn left, the transport approaching wasn't stopping for the red, and the transport behind me laid on his horn! I had to gun it and go up to the next light to turn! Seriously. I have developed the habit of waiting a few seconds after the green to see if anyone is racing through.

Bathrooms.

What is up with the little squares they pass as toilet paper? I'm removing fecal matter, not covering shaving cuts! With all the focus on hand hygiene, why not install foot pedals on the toilets? Your automatic-motion-detector tap is lovely, but how 'bout some hot water? Same for the hand dryer. Heat would be nice. The picto-gram instructions always leave out the last step... wipe your hands on your pants. The only units of these that I've seen actually work, are at a bar called Filthy Mc Nasty's. Those dryers are powered by Rolls Royce jet engines, I swear!

There, I feel better now.

DJW

DJ did not leave his SUV double parked in a handicapped spot while writing this.

Give us a Brake!

2009-10-02T21:56:00.011-04:00

It's not a spelling mistake.

My Survey Crew was working near Milton today, on a road with no shoulders.

Now, call me strange (others have), but I feel responsible for my crew's safety. When traffic control is needed, I like to be flagman or drive the blocker truck. I can still direct operations by radio, and assist or advise when needed.

I hope they get the idea that I am don't just say I'm watching out for them, I actually am.

Today was no different.

Anyway, like I said, we were working on a two lane road with no shoulder, we've set up the work area as per Book 7 and I'm flagging, so all is well.

I saw him coming.

He broke through the last traffic light at the end of town. He was late. He was doing at least 80 in a 60. I started waving the 'Slow' paddle.

He was speeding up.

I gave the guys the 'heads up' over the radio, stepped out and turned the sign to 'Stop'.

He stopped. I told him I had a crew on the road and he needed to slow down. He countered with that he was doing the speed limit (he wasn't) and that my signs weren't adequate (they were).

He then speculated that my parents were never married.

Before I let him pass I pointed out that he was in a signed work zone and subject to double fines for speeding, and fines for disobeying a Flag Person. By then though, my objective of slowing him and protecting my crew was achieved.

Before he left he again made a speculation that my Mother was a canine.

Listen folks, it may seem that we take cruel pleasure in holding up traffic, but its the opposite. Our number one concern is worker safety. Our other number one concern is public safety. Where I work there is an unwritten rule (that is sometimes written) that on major routes we don't set up until after rush hour, and we follow it. Like I said above, it's for the public's and our safety.

Prior to 2005 the worst he could have been charged with was 'Failing to obey a lawful sign'
In 2005, the Ontario Highway Traffic Act was amended to include Section 146, part of which reads: (source E-Laws)

Traffic control stop and slow signs

146.1 (1) A traffic control person on a roadway or adjacent to a roadway where construction or maintenance work is being carried out may display a traffic control stop or slow sign. 2005, c. 26, Sched. A, s. 23.

Same – firefighters

(2) A firefighter on a roadway or adjacent to a roadway where an accident has occurred may display a traffic control stop or slow sign. 2005, c. 26, Sched. A, s. 23.

Driver required to stop

(3) Where a traffic control person or firefighter displays a traffic control stop sign, the driver of any vehicle or street car approaching the person shall stop before reaching him or her and shall not proceed until the traffic control person or firefighter stops displaying the traffic control stop sign. 2005, c. 26, Sched. A, s. 23.

Driver required to slow down

(4) Where a traffic control person or firefighter displays a traffic control slow sign, the driver of any vehicle or street car approaching the person shall approach the person and proceed past him or her and past the construction or maintenance work or scene of an accident with caution and at a slow rate of speed so as not to endanger any person or vehicle on or adjacent to the roadway. 2005, c. 26, Sched. A, s. 23.

Unauthorized use of sign

(5) No person other than a traffic control person or firefighter shall display on a highway a traffic control stop or slow sign. 2005, c. 26, Sched. A, s. 23.

Regulations

(6) The Lieutenant Governor in Council may make regulations prescribing the type, design and specifications of traffic control stop and slow signs. 2005, c. 26, Sched. A, s. 23.

Definitions

(7) In this section,

“construction or maintenance work” includes work by a utility, including a public utility within the meaning of the Public Utilities Act or the Municipal Act, 2001, or by a transmitter or distributor within the meaning of the Electricity Act, 1998; (“travaux de construction ou d’entretien”)

“firefighter” has the same meaning as in subsection 1 (1) of the Fire Protection and Prevention Act, 1997; (“pompier”)

“traffic control person” means a person who is directing traffic and,

(a) is employed by,

(i) the road authority with jurisdiction over the highway,

(ii) a public utility within the meaning of the Public Utilities Act or the Municipal Act, 2001,

(iii) a transmitter or distributor within the meaning of the Electricity Act, 1998, or

(iv) a person under contract with the road authority, public utility, transmitter or distributor to do construction or maintenance work on or adjacent to the roadway, or

(b) is employed by or under contract with a person who has been issued a permit or written authorization by the road authority with jurisdiction over the highway to occupy a lane or a portion of a highway in order to undertake work on or adjacent to the highway. (“agent de régulation de la circulation”) 2005, c. 26, Sched. A, s. 23.

Penalties start at $500 and 6 points.

If you've ever driven on a US Interstate, you've seen the signs dictating the penalties for injuring or killing a Road Worker or Police Officer working on the road. And they are a heck of a lot more.

None of those penalties equal that paid by said injured or dead Road Worker or Police Officer or their families.

Please give us a brake.

It's the law.

And we want to go home to our families too.

DJW

DJ wants the driver of the black Lexus, Ont. plate ###-XXX
( he wrote it down) to know he got off lucky today.
So did his crew.

Dear Frigidaire...

2009-09-28T21:07:00.004-04:00

We were very proud of our Frigidaire Gallery Series Model CFEF372CB2 Glass Top Range when we got it new on March 21st, 2004. We celebrated spring and our tax refund with our first brand new stove, a $1000 gleaming black gem on sale for $850!

In our 13+ years of marriage we had made do with used $75 stoves, with burner rings that would gather spills and crud and smoke and burn out. The ovens required harsh chemicals to clean them, and they usually lasted 3 or 4 years, with $15 or $20 repairs every now and then.

But no more of those problems now that we have this baby, no siree. The smooth glass top just wipes clean, and the oven is self cleaning, just set it and forget it.

And its a Frigidaire!

Our Frigidaire upright freezer was nearly 50 years old when we replaced it with a new, energy efficient one, and it still worked! We should have many, many years of reliable service from our brand new stove.

Yeah, right.

First off, the glass top is impossible to keep clean, even when using the recommended Cerama Bryte(tm) cleaner.

Then, several months ago, while cooking dinner, the oven control started beeping, flashing "F1" on its display, and the door lock came on, trapping our dinner inside. I had to cut and restore the power to the range in order to release the door. The error code indicated that the oven control required replacing. A check for the part found it was over $300, and we couldn't afford that at the time.

We found if we just didn't set the oven too high, it would still work well enough to cook a meal.

Slowly, the temperature threshold got lower and lower until 350 degrees was the maximum before it would fault.

Tonight it faulted, and will not reset.

The oven and cooktop is dead.

As a doorknob.

Constant beep like a flatline.

5 Years, 6 Months and 1 week old.

R.I.P. (rust in pieces)

Part # 31818530 is US$240 plus shipping, putting it over CAN$300, then labour.

Home Depot has a GE 30" range for $399.

You do the math.

DJW

We are now using a 'modular cook station.'
Two hotplates and a toaster oven.

This is Wonderland?: Support your troops

2009-09-25T05:41:00.000-04:00

This is Wonderland?: Support your troops

No, I didn't write this...

2009-09-24T05:28:00.002-04:00

No.

In spite of rumors to the opposite, or what you might think, I did NOT write the following headline in this week's Brantford Expositor:

Clean getaway in Pledge, Windex theft

Although I could have.

Would have.

DJW

Another country heard from...: Meet Sammy...

2009-09-23T11:58:00.001-04:00

Another country heard from...: Meet Sammy...

Shared via AddThis

This is Wonderland?: Rants for a Monday

2009-09-21T17:17:00.000-04:00

This is Wonderland?: Rants for a Monday

An Early Retirement

2009-09-15T18:09:00.008-04:00

My eldest offspring, Thing One, has been involved with Canada's best kept secret for over 9 years now.

She has been a Cadet since the age of nine.

First with the Navy League, then with the Sea Cadets.

In both instances, she started at the bottom and progressed steadily through the ranks, eventually becoming Chief of the Corps, the top ranking Cadet.

As a parent, getting her involved with Cadets was an easy choice. It was free to join, taught her skills, and gave her incentive to serve.

I knew what she was in for if she gave it a chance. I had been a Cadet as a young lad. I learned values and made friends there that I still have over 30 years later.

She retires this week, at the ripe old age of 18, passing on her charge to another deserving young person, willing and able to take on a leadership role.

Below is the text of her Farewell Message to her Corps.

On Vigil, November 11th, 2008

Camp, Cadets, and the Real World.

Firstly, I would like to take this time to congratulate all of our camp-bound cadets on an excellent summer. I got a chance to see most of you, teach some of you, and watch you become leaders in your Divisions and in Cadets. Congratulations to MS Johnson on being named top in his Division, and to QPO1 Jackson on earning his watch ticket.

Now, I’ve come to the point in my Cadet career where I can look back and reflect not only on what I have gained from the Cadet Program, but what I could pass on to you, the future leaders not only of our corps but of our camps, our town and our country.

Sounds a bit cheesy or romantic, I’ll admit, but let me explain. Throughout my Cadet career I’ve been presented with unique and fantastic opportunities, from traveling across the country to train at our two coastal SCSTCs, HMCS QUADRA and HMCS ACADIA, to volunteer opportunities through cadets and the Royal Canadian Legion. While the latter part, volunteering, might seem less than thrilling, it’s given me the skills to ‘get ahead’ or survive in what I call the ‘real world’, basically everything outside of your school, home, video game and computer chair. The real world is learning how to survive, how to succeed, how to explore what everyone else has to offer and find yourself in the process.

Have I lost you yet? I hope not. Everything you learn in Cadets: teamwork, initiative, leadership, discipline; down to the little skills like knot tying, orienteering, musicianship and sailing are tools you’re going to use again, unlike in some of your classes in school where you memorize dates and formulae you may never use in your entire life (apologies to Slt Messecar and Lt(N) Downey for that bit, no hard feelings against teachers or historians!). I won’t drag on too much longer, but I want you to remember this: anytime you’re sitting in a class at Cadets and you don’t want to pay attention, you don’t want to tie this knot or work with that person, just do it. Anytime you think “I can’t!” or that something is impossible, just do it. Like a bad Nike commercial, anytime something is difficult and you just can’t face it—you guessed it—just do it.

Trust me on this one.

Well done, Chief.

Bravo Zulu.

DJW aka Daddycab

There are Corps and Squadrons across Canada.

For more information on the Cadet Program, Click here

Really Instant Karma

2009-09-14T17:43:00.003-04:00

Here's a news item from The Toronto Sun I thought noteworthy...

A teen armed with a handgun holds up a variety store and robs the proprietor of his hard earned money. While fleeing he runs into the street and gets nailed by a car.

Here is the entire text of the story:

A teen who ran into the path of an on-coming car on Victoria Park Ave. after robbing a North York variety store has died from his injuries in hospital, police said yesterday.

Two young men, including the 17-year-old dead boy, were each armed with handguns when they robbed the R.J. Food Market Convenience, between Lawrence and Eglinton Aves., shortly after 8 p.m. Friday, Toronto Police said.

"Two young teenagers with masks and a gun, one guy with a handgun and the other, some kind of gun" came into the store, shopkeeper Hann Liu, 55, said yesterday.

He said one of the bandits jumped over the counter and grabbed "$150-something" from the till, but he's not absolutely sure.

The duo then fled out of the store, one into heavy traffic on Victoria Park, Liu said.

"So one car hit one guy," he said. "The gun...fell on the road and the police (came)," Liu said. He said he feels bad: "Safety is not very good here." Neither Liu or his wife, 53, were hurt during the heist.

The injured teen apparently suffered head injuries and was taken to Hospital for Sick Children.

The other suspect got away. A pistol was recovered at the scene. Police said although the investigation is continuing, no charges are anticipated against the motorist.

DJ here...my only fear is that some Lawyer will get their slimy paws on this and sue the driver of the car!

Lets hear it for instant karma!

DJW

DJ thinks the best line from Judge Roy Bean is,

"Who the hell are you?"

"Justice, you sons of bitches!"

Watch This Space...

2009-09-13T17:34:00.006-04:00

Holy Cow!

It's been over a month since I've blogged.

Some of you may find this refreshing.

It's not because I haven't wanted to, but life and circumstances intervened.

I'm chewing on some stuff that I've yet to fully digest and regurgitate here.

In the coming weeks (hopefully), you will find the closing chapter of The Steel Roof Chronicles (still waiting for the blessings of the Almighty Insurance Company), some stuff on Soldiers and Veterans, and on life in general.

Oh, and the Talk Show Idol thing?

CHML still hasn't gotten back to me. If you want to take it upon yourselves inquire about my status, contact the Program Director here. Or....jstorey@900chml.com

Later this week there will be a column with input from Thing 1.

Watch for it.

And if you look to your left at my profile, you will see an addition. Welcome aboard, Boy Thing! He's happy to be here and we are happy to have him. More about that later.

In the meantime, talk amongst yourselves and keep an eye here.

DJW

DJ apologizes to those who have been holding their breath.
You may now breathe . Thank you for your patience.

More bad news...again...like always...

2009-08-09T08:09:00.005-04:00

Why do the news media outlets feel that we want to hear about the bad things in life?

Think about it.

The headline of almost any major paper or the lead story of almost all the broadcasts is usually about crime, tragedy, pain and suffering.

Headlines from 3 big papers and one small one today include:

Gee, doesn't all that just perk me up.

Also, why do I need to know about celebrities behaving badly? And why is it news?

What possible difference to the economy does it make if Paula Abdul leaves American Idol? Or what effect will there be on the B.C. forest fires if John and Kate litigate?

One thing that I did pull out of today's news is that there will be a new show coming this fall..called Its Always Good News. Hosted by Connie Smith of CHCH fame, a 30 year plus veteran let go in budget cuts.

Also one local item with a personal link: Caitlin's Family Donates Warmer. A blanket warmer for McMaster Children's Hospital was donated by the family of this late tot, taken earlier this year by cancer at age 5.

And I had to dig this one up for M.D.B., a story from last year that could have been a tragedy: Man unhurt after being taken for ride when motorized chair gets stuck to truck grille. Poor guy crossing the road ends up stuck to the front of a semi, and could have ended up as road kill.

Two songs are running through my head right now, Don Henley's Dirty Laundry and Anne Murray's A Little Good News.

Dunno bout you, but I would rather hear about the good stuff first, kinda brace me for the bad stuff.

DJW

Some good news...the renovations are getting nearer to done!

Your Opinion Counts! Really! It's Talk Show Idol Time Again!

2009-07-30T20:32:00.008-04:00

Before a Politician embarks on a campaign they usually commission a straw poll to gauge their possibilities.

That's what I'm doing here today.

AM900 CHML Radio in Hamilton is resurrecting it's 'Talk Show Idol' contest again.

Some of you may recall that I entered the first edition in 2007, and finished second overall.

Some may say that's a great achievement for a kid from the country.

Some may say that second place is the first loser.

Some may liken me to Justin Guarini.

In any case, since my first go round I started this Blog to hone my ranting skills, and as a way to express my opinion to all those who care to read it. Or not to read it.

I asked for some people to select a 'Best of IMAG' collection and here is what they came up with:

(click on the title to read the post)

So I throw it to you, folks.

Do I run again?

Or do I bask in my near success of the first run?

If I win, I can't promise a chicken in every pot, or no new taxes. But I will devote as much air time as I can to the various charities I've supported over the years.

...and I promise not to use the "N" word again.

DJW

DJ regrets and apologizes for using the word "Newfie" on the air.

The Circle of Life

2009-07-29T22:14:00.006-04:00

I've been sorting a lot of memories in recent weeks. Funny thing about memories, one seems to trigger another.

While this overcrowded shed in my head is jammed with useless factoids like... there were just around 20,000 AMX's built ...and that Walrus's (or is it Walrusii?) eat 4,000 clams in 10 minutes, miraculously I still have room for some fond memories.

I remember things like evening drives going for a 'red pop'; campfires in the back yard; watching clouds with Ma and spontaneous jam sessions breaking out in the kitchen.

I am the youngest of the gang by far, with 11 years between myself and my sister. The official line is that I was the only 'planned' one and I'll stick with that. That gave me the luxury of being treated like an only child (with 6 parents no less) But the truth is, I had more time with Ma and Pa than the Big Four.

One of the memories that blindsided me the other night was a good one.

While we still lived in the country ( before I turned 11), Pa would occasionally pack us up a meal in a canvas ditty bag , which was usually a pork chop and some sliced potatoes wrapped in tinfoil, a few 'red pops' for me and a few 'brown pops' for him. He would then announce to Ma in a very man like voice that we were going "Hunting Bunnies", and bring along a couple of antique 22's he had. (Google Steven's Little Scout and Steven's Visible Action if you wish). We would drive 1/2 mile to the TH&B tracks, then walk the 1/2 mile down to a trestle that passed over a creek in the bush. We would gather wood for a campfire, and while our meal cooked on a rock in the middle, we'd hunt 'tin' bunnies that we found and set on stumps in the woods. Usually we would see a real bunny, and would try to get close enough to feed it with some the nuts that Pa always had in his pocket, but they frequently would skitter off.

The other night I took Pa for a 'roll' around the grounds of the Hospice. The area there must be 4 acres, and has lots of both landscaped and natural growth.

Much to his delight, we spotted not one, but two bunnies.

All these years later, I'm the one taking Pa out hunting bunnies.

DJW

He Never Served His Country.

2009-07-07T18:16:00.012-04:00

He was a singer/dancer/entertainer.

A self mutilating, accused pedophile who in the last decade or so became a parody of himself.

I'm not even going to mention his name because I'm sick of hearing it.

He never served his country.

He never put his life in danger for anyone.

He never came under enemy fire or never had to fire back in his own defense or in the defense of others.

He never saved a life.

He died of an apparent drug overdose.

I'm disgusted at the amount of coverage given to this freak, and even more disgusted that the first 10 minutes of the news today was about him.

There was a Ramp Ceremony today in Kandahar for Master Corporal Pat Audet and Corporal Martin Joannette, killed in a chopper incident yesterday.

Yesterday... while a procession passed along The Highway of Heroes.

Cpl. Nick Bulger was killed last week by an I.E.D. in Afghanistan.

CHCH News in Hamilton pushed the Ramp Ceremony story back until after the 'first glance' at the weather. Even then, they only gave it one minute.

One minute.

Shameful.

To the families, comrades and friends of Master Corporal Pat Audet, Corporal Martin Joannette and Corporal Nick Bulger, I am very sorry for your loss, and saddened that a celebrity spectacle denied these men the respect they should have received.

They served their Country with honour.

They put their lives in danger for everyone.

They came under enemy fire and had to fire back in their own defense and the defense of others.

They saved lives.

They died with honour and dignity.

Corporal Nick Bulger Master Corporal Pat Audet and Corporal Martin Joannette

"At the going down of the sun, and in the morning, we will remember them."

Lest we forget.

DJW

Timeline: Death toll in Afghanistan

Peacekeeper Park

More on Hard Decisions edited

2009-06-25T08:48:00.005-04:00

Sorry, BLOGiste is a her, not a him.

A Blogger in Egypt picked up my Blog on Living Wills.

As he was writing a similar story, he asked if link to my Blog, which of course I agreed to.

His Blog, BLOGitse, is in Finnish I think, and seems to have generated a lot of response.

If you can read Finn, follow this link and read more.

I guess this just shows how small this planet has become, and how we all suffer the same trials.

DJW

This is cool, Bloggers Without Borders!

Hard Decisions Made Somewhat Easier

2009-06-22T22:56:00.004-04:00

I am not the first person to lose a Parent.

I am not the first person to have to suspend life support.

I am not the first person to watch as a loved one passed away.

Things were made somewhat easier by my Parents.

A few years ago, they made a Living Will.

Dunno how Ma got that past Pa, but she did. Will's and life insurance are something Pa is wary of, due to superstitions passed down from generations of Coal Miners. She gave a copy to my Sister and I, and made us sit there and read it in front of her.

If we hadn't had that document, I don't know what would have happened.

The rest of my family have long known what she wanted, and more importantly given the circumstances, what she didn't want. When the Doctor called on Friday and gave us the ultimate prognosis, it wasn't what we wanted to hear.

But we knew we had to do what she wanted. To do anything else would be selfish and wrong.

When I came home from talking with the Doctor, M.D.B. and I sat the girls down and told them what was going to happen. It wasn't easy, but its part of being an adult.

Then we told them that we loved them, and we didn't want them to have to make the hard decisions if weren't able to. We made our wishes clear to them, and as soon as the dust settles, we too will make it a legal document. We love our girls, and to put them through unneeded trauma at a time of crisis would just be cruel. I urge anyone reading this to create a living will. If you don't want to pay a lawyer, you can get kits and software at most office supply stores, and getting it notarized is as easy as going to City Hall.

Living Will's are an expression of love.

Ma loved us enough to make the decisions for us.

Thanks Ma.

M.D.B. shares her views at This is Wonderland?

As Luck Would Have It

2009-06-20T09:17:00.007-04:00

It was a sunny Thursday.

I was working just north of Oakville when I got the call.

My Mother was being rushed to a Trauma Center in a nearby city. An aneurysm in her abdomen had burst. At least a 9.7 on the scale of the worst phone call you could get.

As luck would have it, I was only five minutes from my car.

Ma was born into a farm family, in the middle of the 1930's. As one of twelve children, they all had to take care of something on the farm. When Grandpa went into the Army, everyone had more to take care of. As luck would have have it, the family farm was near Camp 20 in Brantford where Grandpa served as an M.P. The eldest children took care of the farm, the younger ones took care of the even younger ones.

As luck would have it, Ma was near the middle of the pack and took care of her younger siblings.

In those days, it was quite normal for women to marry in their teens and start families of their own. As luck would have it, Ma had children of her own to look after by the time she was in her late teens.

That was her job, to look after people. As luck would have it, she was pretty good at it.

She was a stay at home mom before that was an option. I'm the youngest of the gang, and she never worked outside the home until I was in school. Even then, she made sure that there was a lunch ready for me when she couldn't be there.

As luck would have it, somewhere near that time, a friend who's husband was terminally ill needed help. They had no children to look after them, so Ma did. That's what she did. She held her friends hand while her husband died. Many years later she held her friends hand while she died. That's what she did.

Ma was not without health issues over the years. In the 1970's, she underwent a series of surgeries. One of the few things Pa never did master was cooking. In an emergency he could fry plain hamburger and some potatoes, or pork chops and french fries. So Ma made a series of meals, labeled them and put them in the freezer for emergencies. Even when she was sick, she took care of us. That's what she did.

As we got older and had children of our own, Ma wouldn't hear of daycare for her grandchildren. Or her great-grandchildren. She would take care of them, that's what she did. As luck would have it, we kept her well supplied with people to take care of.

A few years ago, as Pa's health started to fail, there was talk of putting him into some kind of extended care. Ma would have none of that. She would take care of him as long as she could.

That's what she did.

That's what she was doing on that sunny Thursday when she collapsed on the living room floor. She managed to get out a phone call for help. As luck would have it, my Sister was nearby and got there in time.

As luck would have it, an ambulance was literally around the corner and able to respond. As she was being wheeled out she asked for someone to call for help for Pa. She had to make sure he was taken care of.

That's what she did.

As luck would have it, my nephew worked nearby and could stay with Pa until the nurse got there.

As luck would have it, I beat the ambulance to the Trauma Center. I commented to her that there were other ways out of the family picnic slated for that weekend. She laughed. A good sign.

As luck would have it, the on-call Vascular Surgeon is the Professor for such things at McMaster Medical School. The surgery went well and quicker than expected. She had lost a lot of blood, and her kidneys, liver and pancreas had been blood starved for some time.

As luck would have it, the whole family was in the area for the picnic. A rare occasion as my one Sister lives in California and my one Brother travels a lot for business.

As luck would have it, her mind was damaged by lack of blood flow and her kidneys didn't respond to treatment. She never regained consciousness and never knew what was going on around her. She hung on long enough for everyone to say goodbye. Even as she was leaving us she was making sure we weren't inconvenienced.

She was taking care of us. That's what she did.

She slipped away peacefully.

It was a rainy Saturday.

As luck would have it.

DJ and his Family thank everyone for thier support.
We have a lot of great people around us, as luck would have it.

Waiting Room Etiquette

2009-06-17T22:32:00.007-04:00

I've spent a lot of time in a waiting room this past week.

The ICU waiting room at Hamilton General has 54 seats. I've had plenty of time to count them. That's roughly one per bed. ICU visiting hours are 24/7 there, understandably. With only two family visitors at a time, 54 seems like a reasonable amount.

They also recommend that one family member act as a spokesperson, and wrangle who comes when to keep traffic down and allow them time to give treatment.

This also seems reasonable.

Now, I am also well aware that everyone who is in there has a loved one in critical condition, we all do. And they all want to be there to show support.

Completely understandable.

I am very thankful for the support I've had.

But...

...support can go overboard.

This weekend, there were two families that commandeered the waiting room beyond belief. One family went and bought bags upon bags of groceries and set up a complete Deli on one of the coffee tables. Another family had what seemed like a catered affair with pans of lasagna, cannelloni, garlic bread and salads. All that was missing was the wine and the music and we could have had a wedding.

We ended up in the hall.

By we I mean three of us. It was my Brothers turn to visit. We gave up our seats so that they had somewhere to put the salad bar.

Ferchristsakes, it's the frigging waiting room! I did a mental calculation; if all the people at the Italian wedding went in, two by two, for twenty minutes each, it would've taken six and a half hours for them all to go through.

Un-friggin-believable and im-friggin-possible!

We all have loved ones in distress, and we all want our turn, but for crying out loud have a little courtesy and compassion.

DJW

DJ and his family thank everyone for their continued support.

The Real Reason Why Men Don't Read Directions.

2009-06-09T21:46:00.008-04:00

Ladies, if you've ever wondered why men don't read instructions, there are very good reasons for it.

Below are the instructions for a battery I picked up recently (yes, for a battery)...

Then of course, there is the actual manual:

Nuff said.

DJW

DJ did not follow the instructions to post this blog.

Some Lessons Learned

2009-06-07T22:00:00.010-04:00

Its been a while folks.

Silly season round here.

Parades, meetings, spring cleaning and planting, yard work (some left over from last year, and the year before)

And then there's the roof.

Looming overhead.

Whats been holding my house together for 130 years.

I'm proud to say that work has begun. Some remedial repairs have been made, and some demolition and new construction has been completed.

The main part of Our Humble Castle was built in 1881 with 1881 construction methods. Post and timber framing, with pegged joints and a plank roof. An addition to the rear around 1910 added 300 square feet and a small valley to the roof profile. Methods and materials didn't seem to change much over those 30 odd years.

Fast forward to the late 1980's, when the previous owners decided to replace the roof. Instead of tearing off the three layers of shingles on the back, they decided to build a whole new roof over the existing one, taking out the valley. They did not cut back the old roof, they simply made the fascia extra wide. This produced a gap of roughly 7 inches in the middle of the valley. This is what I am now correcting.

So I have to peel off plywood fascia, and expose the old roof. Then cut it back flush, put up some extra bracing and attach new 1' x 6" fascia boards ready for cover.

Sounds easy, right?

Wrong.

You'd figure that an industrial r-saw with "demolition blades" (I got a capital Y chromosome just buying them) would go through 100+ year old planks like a hot knife through butter.

Not so.

The 1" thick planks and flat iron nails chewed these blades up like popcorn. I had to change blades every 5 minutes and soak them in kerosene to clean and cool them. The soaking also cleaned the asphalt that was clogging the teeth.

Then the genius that did the work before, hadn't properly braced the overhang, only providing support every four feet where joints occurred. So someone has to install them.

130 year old plank roof.

So, as with every project I get involved with, there was much more work than I had figured.

In the end, 25 feet of demolition and and remedial construction took me roughly 18 hours over two days.

Lessons?

That 130 years ago, things were built to last. I wonder how many of the new 'manufactured' homes will be around 130 years from now.

That you will need twice as many 'demolition blades' as you figure.

That 130 year old planks, while tough to cut, make excellent coals for cooking bratwurst.

DJW

Somewhere, the men that built this house are laughing at DJ.

When I am King... (repost)

2009-05-22T05:41:00.000-04:00

With the events surrounding the death of Victoria Stafford, I felt it was appropriate to revisit this post.

I am seeking the position of King of the World.

I am aware I can’t just declare myself such as Leo DiCaprio did in Titanic. So I’ll have to convince you all I deserve the job. I have developed a platform of ideas I hope to implement as The Monarch of Earth.

I have outlined some of the concepts below.

Ahem… When I am King…

…Stupidity will be a punishable crime. Yes, those who are volunteer idiots will be held accountable for their acts. Those who video it and show it on You Tube or Worlds Most Amazing Home Videos will be held as accomplices. No one needs to see another sk8r boi get a handrail in the berries, or Evel Knievel wannabe’s dumping their bikes.

When I am Tsar of the Planet…

…Baffin Island will be a penal colony. For those who drain our system and will forever be a burden on society, there they can roam freely, from shore to shore to shore to frozen shore, feeding off each other. This, of course, is only for the worst offenders; three time losers and child molesters and the like. Also for those who have been convicted of six or more counts of Felony Stupidity. If you make it back to the mainland, you may go free. Child Molesters will have their arms severed before sentencing.

When I am The Baron of the Orb…

…Gas prices will be directly linked to the price of a barrel of oil. Pretty simple concept; and a rate of 1% for regular would be fair I think. $100 a barrel equals $1.00 a liter.

When I am Prince of the Globe…

…Bad drivers will be punished on the spot. The Honda-maniacs and Beemer Bozos who cause those daily rear enders that delay us regular people will be forced to stand under one of those portable flashy sign boards as it alternates between “ I APOLOGIZE FOR MAKING YOU LATE” and “I AM AN IDIOT”. Oh, and they have to hand out free Timmies while waiting for the tow truck and the paperwork. Doing this will take the place of one Misdemeanor Stupidity conviction.

Further, all drivers who have never been convicted of a Rolling Stupidity will be issued paint ball guns with florescent pink ammo. When they see a Stupidity - in - progress, they are allowed to fire one shot. When the offender collects three or more blots, Police have the authority to pull the offender over and give him (or her, lets not discriminate) a summons for being an a**hole.

When I am The Czar of the Cosmos…

…Drivers Ed will be a mandatory High School course. And will be given in Grade12 only. Thus two problems will be solved: teen accident stats and the drop out rate will both drop. No diploma? No license. Courses offered outside of school will be a mandatory $5000.00.

When I am The Grand Poobah…

…Car Insurance would go back to at fault. If you hit me, your insurance pays, and my rates don’t get touched. I did nothing wrong, why should I have to pay?

When I am Sultan of The Solar System…

…Loaves of bread will have an even number of slices. Further, peanut butter and jam jars will be no deeper than 1.25 inches less than the length of the average kitchen knife.

When I am Nabob of The Sphere…

…Hate Criminals and Identified Bigots will be reformed. All those convicted or even accused of any form of racial or religious discrimination will be ushered into a facility like the Skydome, and be forced to watch as dozens of four and five – year – olds of all races and religions play on the playground below.
There will be puppies and kittens too.
Kids don’t hate, that’s a learned behavior.
Only when the offenders are a blubbering mass may they be released.

When I am The Supreme Ruler of all The Lands and Seas…

…Spy satellites will be used for drug control. This sophisticated technology will stop reading license plates and intruding on sheep farmer’s private moments and be trained on the poppy and cocaine crops. The Air Force will then Napalm the crops and keep doing so until the world’s supply of heroin and crack is nothing more than a memory. The trickle down of this will run a spectrum from reducing terrorism to pruning petty street crimes.

When I am the Kaiser of Terra Firma…

…Unions will be outlawed. Where is it fair that a guy with no education deserves $75k a year to put wheels on cars in a factory, yet a Graduate Teacher can’t get a job because of double dippers, and a married Soldier with two kids’ lives at the poverty line.

When I am The Emperor of this Macrocosm…

…There shall be bunnies. And they shall frolic every morn while birds chirp in the distance. Oh, and dogs would only poop in their own yards.

Feel free to give me more concepts to implement during my reign as Overlord of All.

Thank you for your support.

DJW

Happy Birthday to Me!

2009-05-19T21:08:00.001-04:00

As my birthday looms like a North Atlantic iceberg in early spring, I am not in much of a celebratory mood. This is not a milestone year coming, nor am I suffering from a middle age crisis. I have aches and pains but nothing I can't work around.

I am coming to grips with mortality.

You see, twenty - odd years ago I was immortal.

We all were.

Worked all day, partied till dawn, slept for 10 minutes and did it all over again. And as if driving the ammo truck for an Artillery Regiment wasn't enough, I tried my hand at Stock Car racing for a little more rush.

I imagine that sixty - odd years ago my Father was immortal.

An accomplished musician at young age, he was a mentor to the great Johnny Mooring.

The War got him of out of the coal mines of Springhill, Nova Scotia, but only as far as Sussex, New Brunswick. After he served in the Army as a mechanic, he likes to tell the story of how he built an Indian Motorcycle with 'spare parts' and rode it to Ontario. Of course after six decades we can all admit they were stolen parts.

He quickly found work as a mechanic. Now lets remember that he was a mechanic when they were more than 'technicians'. He was a welder, hydraulic specialist, pipe fitter, electrician, painter and more. He even taught night school until they found out he dropped out in Grade Nine. His skills led him to many opportunities, including a chance to go to South America to help set up a factory and train the workers. This he turned down because it would take him away from his family for six months or more.

His love and talent for music also soon found him in a band. This led to a regular Saturday Evening Radio gig with his band, The Nova Scotia Ramblers. (a strange foretelling as he would later work for Rambler and A.M.C.) It was on the radio that he proposed to my mother by dedicating a song for her, a tune called "Flop Eared Mule". ( I would later steal his idea to propose to M.D.B., but that's another story.)

His musical talents were legend, and earned him a spot on The Ted Mack Amateur Hour in New York City in 1959, a pre-pre-precursor to American Idol. He won trophies at the Canadian Old Time Fiddle Championships for his novelty fiddling; playing behind his back, head, holding the bow with his knees and many other contorted, impossible positions. During a weekend trip to see the Grand Ole Opry, there are pictures of him sitting around the hotel pool, jamming with the stars of Hee Haw. Their offer of a spot in the show's band was turned down because music wasn't a stable income for a man with a family.

His accidental un-quest for immortality led him to one other thing, he gave me his name. This is not uncommon, you may say, except that it is an uncommon combination of names. Most of us have 'Googled' our own names to see if there are others out there. Lorraine Sommerfeld called it 'Googleganging.' Try it and see how many you can come up with.

A search for my first name comes back with over 124,000 hits. My surname, 179,000. Put the two together?

It comes back to two people. Just the two of us. In all of the internet.

A very exclusive club in which I have been Vice President for almost 44 years.

The other night I visited the old man, and it made me sad to think that the man he was lives in him still, and wonder what it must be like to live with his memories.

I'll be the President someday, but its not a job I necessarily want.

The President in his heyday

DJW

the music that played on the wind

Thank Goodness for Unlimited Packages! UPDATED!

2009-05-03T21:53:00.005-04:00

Thing One had her cell stolen while she was away in Kingston for the summer. Idiot that stole it ran the usage up to 172 pages before I could get it canceled. The unlimited package really paid for itself! DJW

I both sympathize and cheer for a Wyoming Dad who took a hammer to his 13 year old daughter's cell phone after she rang up a nearly $5000.00 bill, mostly by text messaging.

Many parents have given their teens cellphones. Thing One and Thing Two, our teenage daughters have had them for quite a few years. Initially paid for by Mommy and Daddy.

Other parents call parents like us crazy, but try to follow us around for a few weeks and you'll know why our kids have these units.

A number of years ago, Thing One made some transgression that suspended her internet privileges for a time. She discovered that she could access the internet from her cell, not knowing that it was $50 a megabyte and not knowing that Daddy would flip. Subsequently, she lost her cell until she paid the bill off.

Late last year, Thing Two got a new boyfriend, and discovered texting. She didn't have a text plan. The ensuing 44 page invoice caused yet another blood pressure record, and suspension of privileges until payment.

Earlier this year, we renewed our contract, we all got shiny new phones with cameras, and most of us got QWERTY keypads. This time though, Mommy and Daddy would pay for the basic service, and the Sisters Thing would have to pay the extra for the enhanced, unlimited plans, which ring up at about $20 per month each. As they both have part time jobs, this was no problem for them.

We got our new units just before Thing One embarked on a nearly 2 week journey to Halifax, including 30 hours on a train each way. It was great to get updates on her progress, and pic's from crossings at places like Miramachi and Sackville. We kept in touch with her and she with all by text and picture from across the country, a marvel of modern communication.

Long ago we switched to electronic billing.

Our Letter Carrier should thank us, because the invoice for the first month of unlimited usage was 144 pdf pages, with Thing One setting the new household record of 88 pages on her own.

I am thankful for unlimited usage packages, and my cell carrier is shaking its head.

I'm betting Wyoming Dad wishes he had gotten an unlimited deal.

DJW

DJ has two daughters with very strong thumbs.

Yet Another Crazy Idea...

2009-04-28T22:12:00.006-04:00

Ok, folks, if you were taking notes, a few months back when the crisis in the North American Auto Industry started to make headlines, and the CEO's went cap in hand looking for offerings from the tax base, I came up with a crazy idea...

...have the Oil Industry bail out the Auto Industry!

The last time us taxpayer's bailed out Chrysler, they turned around and gave us K Cars in return.

I can't wait to see what we will get this time.

But if you thought my plan to have Suncor invest in GM was a nutty idea, fasten your seat belts!

I propose a new bailout plan: if the unions are so gung ho about keeping their jobs, let them bail out the GM and Chrysler.

Think about it. Right now the auto workers are all worried about their future, so why not own their jobs?

Employees in a employee owned operation have a lot more invested in doing a quality job than just earning a paycheck, now don't they? Everyone involved will be keeping a closer eye on quality and be looking for efficiencies. Profit sharing would be a great incentive. Actually breaking even would be a great incentive.

Gee, do ya think there may be a reason that Toyota Woodstock is working overtime, while GM just wiped out Pontiac with a stroke of a pen? (Source: Toronto Star)

Unions are big business, and the CAW is the biggest private sector union in Canada.

Do ya think Buzz Hargrove will donate his pension and proceeds from his speaking engagements and Ken Lewenza will contribute his over $150,000 salary and bonus (Source: Toronto Star) to the food banks for these poor folks.

Funny thing when you work in a union shop; you don't get a choice of whether or not you join and pay them for the privilege of working.

Or not working.

DJW

DJ thinks that the Union Bosses aren't too worried about making their mortgage payments.

I Must Be Defective...

2009-04-23T20:14:00.005-04:00

...at least this was the consensus of a discussion I had this week with a friend as I drove her to the GO Station.

Why, you ask, am I not quite right? (besides the obvious, and stop the snickering in the back.)

Well, lets go down the list, shall we:

My Parents smacked me when I deserved it, yet I didn't grow up to be a child beater.
My Mother never breast fed me, yet I am in not in therapy because of it.
I grew up with handguns and rifles in the house, yet I never took one to school and shot up the place.
I have had a jack knife in my pocket since I was eight, yet I've never stabbed anyone.
My parents drank on the weekends, yet I didn't grow up to be an alcoholic.
My parents never bought me a car, or drove me everywhere, yet I still managed to get around.
I tobogganed, biked and rode my soapbox without a helmet, yet I am undamaged.
I have a bad back that took one Doctor two pages to describe, a pinched nerve in my neck, ingrown toenails and halitosis, yet I am not on a disability pension.
I have never sued anyone for my troubles
I messed up at work the other week, and instead of blaming someone or some computer, I fixed it.

What the heck is wrong with me?

If I figure it out, I'll let you know.

DJW

DJ is worried that he might be abnormally normal.

Have You Hugged Your Emergency Service Communicator Today?

2009-04-15T18:39:00.004-04:00

This is National Communicators Week, a week set aside to honour a profession more commonly known as 911 Operator. These are the first-first responders to almost all emergencies. These folks make sense out of mayhem, calm the victims and witnesses, and try to keep order in what is usually a chaotic situation.

They are the calm voice you get when you are having a crisis, and they are the ones who get you the help you need.

This is a predominately female occupation, and I know why.

About 17 years ago next month, My Darling Bride and I were enjoying a fairly quiet Saturday evening as we did then, she was dispatching taxi's and I was driving one. She was very pregnant with soon to be Thing 2, and I was returning from an out of town trip.

The fairly quiet radio chatter was broken with this matter - of - fact message from M.D.B. "Attention all cars! Car 24 has just been stolen from downtown! If you see car 24, let me know. Otherwise, don't call me, I'm on the phone with the Police."

This call for radio quiet of course, brought the the radio to life. Drivers wanting to know how, or where. A few cars reported spotting the missing car, but had passengers and couldn't follow. Of course, you can guess what happens next...who spots the stolen car and gives chase?

Moi.

I see a taxi coming towards me very quickly at the edge of the city and sure enough, its Car 24. I spin that old wagon around and tromp on the gas. I report to M.D.B. that I am following and where I am, and she relays this to the Police Dispatcher on the other end of her phone. I report everything regarding our speed, location and direction of travel, and I get her calm voice at the other end calling me "Roger" (radio joke)

At one point we are all stopped at a light, and out from what appears to be a second involved car steps a guy with a baseball bat. The stolen cab reverses, and would have rammed me if I hadn't done the same.

All this gets relayed to M.D.B. and the Police.

After a bit of a chase in the country, the thief bails, we get the car back, and it turns out Bat Boy was on our side. The police arrest the ne'er do well a short time later, at the same coffee shop he stole the car from.

The next day, M.D.B. stops for a coffee on her way to work, and runs into one of the Officers involved the night before, a friend of ours. He says to her, "Weren't you dispatching the stolen cab last night?"

"Yes," she replied.

"Wasn't your husband driving the cab chasing?"

"Yes," she replied.

"And you're still pregnant? You should work for us!"

And that, is how M.D.B. was inspired to be an Emergency Services Communicator.

The rest, they say, is legend.

DJW

This is not a picture of My Darling Bride at work.

The Easter Bunny Wouldn't Short Change Us, Would He?

2009-04-11T12:19:00.002-04:00

We were all up early on this sunny Easter Saturday, anticipating a delivery from a very special visitor.

Nope, not the Easter Bunny.

We were waiting with great anticipation for...

...the Roof Delivery Dude!

Thing One and Two were rousted earlier than they wanted to be on a Saturday, and put to work.

The driveway was cleared, and a pathway in the yard was made to move the panels in. We knew would have to move them in by hand as some of them would be 25 feet long.

My Darling Bride called out to us that the truck was on the way, and we scrambled out to the sidewalk, giggling with glee. Well, one of us anyway, the other two had to be dragged kicking and screaming.

The truck showed up right on time. It was loaded with many items, with our new steel roof right on top. It was equipped with one of those piggy-backed forklifts, very useful for unloading, but would prove to be difficult to navigate with a 25' wide skid. Doug, the Delivery Dude was very adept, landed the roof on the sidewalk in the first attempt. The plywood was deposited as far up the driveway as he could get, and the smaller bits were left on the front porch.

Then the work began.

The bands were cut and first the plywood was hauled back and stacked. Then the fun part, the long panels. With Thing 2 leading, Thing 1 and I followed (like we had a choice).

We managed to get it all in the yard with no bent panels, no cuts and only one lost shoe.

When we moved the shorter 12' panels, I noticed something odd, we had 8 25' panels, and only 4 12' pieces. Another check with a tape measure revealed that the panels were only 36" wide, not 41" as ordered and paid for.

So, not only do I not have roofing for the front part of the house, the roofing I have for the rear is too narrow by a foot and a half !

Now, a word or two about steel roofing.

You don't just go to the lumber yard and pick it out, it has to be ordered. And there really is only one supplier, Vic West, and they won't reveal their prices to anyone but the retailers. So you make your drawing, the local guy sends it to Vic West, and then and only then do you get an idea of cost. Vic West tells you what you will need, right down to how many screws and filler pieces to do the job.

Its like trying to buy groceries on a budget without knowing the prices.

So, after jumping through all the hoops to get a grip on prices, and then placing the order and paying for the material 3 weeks ago, and having Vic West telling me that my ridge vent option wouldn't work, and having to re-order the ridge pieces, and getting a false alarm from the supplier about the delivery a week earlier than planned (was someone else's), and then Vic West shipping the wrong colour the first time, and, and, and...

You can imagine our disappointment that what we ordered wasn't what showed up. The guy that handles this at my local Lowes is off today, so I can't get answers till Monday. Thus far, Mike at Lowes in Brantford has been great to deal with, lets see if he can keep us happy.

I am placing this problem squarely on the folks at Vic West, they had the drawings and the specs. They tell you what you need and you are at their mercy.

Good thing I hadn't stripped off the old roof yet.

DJW

Does anyone have a metal stretcher I can borrow?

My Near Death Experience.

2009-04-08T16:43:00.004-04:00

As I spend a great deal of my day on the side of the street or road, I get to meet many people.

I'm currently working near Milton, Ontario and I had a first time experience (for me, anyway) today.

Today I was face to face with Mr. Death.

Yes, I stared Mr. Death in the face, and it didn't scare me.

Mr. Death walked right up to me, and we had a pleasant chat.

He told me the corner near there was a death trap.

I told him I was there to help.

I was honest with him, so... (wait for it)... I didn't cheat Mr. Death.

As proof of my near death experience, I took a picture of Mr. Death's mailbox.

Even Mr. Death gets junkmail.

DJW

For more interesting real names, check out the Celebrated Names page on Randy Bachman's website.

Oh, By The Way....

2009-03-31T12:32:00.007-04:00

A news item I heard out of the corner of my ear yesterday caught my attention...

...the Special Investigations Unit has cleared the police for shooting and wounding a robbery suspect who first fired at them with a shotgun.

You heard me right.

The police had the nerve to fire at someone who was firing at them, so we had to have an investigation.

Every time someone gets hurt during a police action in Ontario, there has to be an inquiry. Regardless of the circumstances.

The background on this was that a shotgun robbery took place, the police tracked the suspect, and the suspect fired on them in an attempt to flee. The Police fired back, wounding the suspect.

This all happened near the end of January. Its now the end of March and the SIU says it was OK to fire back.

Gee thanks for your approval.

You might think its good to have an inquiry of this sort, it keeps the Police from just firing their weapons willy-nilly at loiterers and graffiti artists.

What it actually does is further empower the criminals: if the Police are gonna think twice about firing, the crooks can get away with more.

There will come a time an Officer will be severely hurt or worse, because they will hesitate before using 'lethal force' for fear of the inquisition that follows.

You just better hope its not you or someone you love that the Officer is trying to protect when that decision has to be made.

Its time to take rights away from the bad guys and give them back to the good guys.

DJW

DJ tried to find a news link for this, but the media found it to be un-newsworthy.

And Now...The News

2009-03-13T21:36:00.003-04:00

...this breaking story just in....

...Anna Nicole Smith is still dead!

...more at eleven.

Sorry folks, busy week.

I'll try tomorrow.

DJW

DJ is looking for 9 day weeks with 30 hour days to get everything done.

Ringo's Tale

2009-03-06T21:46:00.009-05:00

Some might say I have bats in my belfry, and that is yet to be confirmed.

But I do have critters in the attic.

Or did.

The roof situation made the small portal that the squirrels used big enough for bigger creatures.

Earlier this week, Thing One went into the attic to spread the magic concoction of Critter Ridder and moth balls that seems to keep the squirrels at bay and came face to muzzle with a raccoon. I'm not sure who was more spooked, but the ensuing shriek frightened the poor beast away. (The raccoon that is, not Thing One.) To add insult, when she posted her experience on Facebook, her friends had a 'name the raccoon' contest.

Ringo was the winning entry.

We knew he'd be back.

Fifteen years ago, when we purchased Our Humble Castle, it had been home for three or four years to various wildlife. Sam, our first cat, and Buster, the next cat, dispatched of the smaller rodents efficiently. Traps removed the bigger ones, and Simba, our 130 Black Lab had fun with the mid sized ones. Some sheet metal and nails sealed up the accesses in the eaves.

So we've had this experience before.

I rounded up a trap easily enough, baited it with kitty food, turned off the light and barred the door.

Earlier today M.D.B. sent the following text messages: "we have coonage" and, "hes not happy"

It took three days, but Ringo came back.

I came home and could hear Ringo trying his best to extricate himself from his unfortunate situation. Kelsey D. Puppy was going bonkers trying to figure out the noise from the attic. Pied, the wal-cat (part walrus, part cat) was extremely indifferent about the whole ordeal. He even raised his head as I stepped over him with the trap full of Ringo.

When I brought him outside, Kelsey couldn't figure out what it was, and if it would play with her. After Ringo lunged at her, she decided it would be best to keep her distance. (video below)

I have been told that you should not remove wildlife more than a kilometer or two from where you trap it. Fortunately, within that range in my geography, I have a canal and a wide river. I took Ringo for a pleasant ride to a nice wooded area across the road from a corn crib. When I opened the trap, he propelled himself from it as if he'd been shot from a cannon. I'm not sure if the look he gave me from the tree was, "Thanks for the ride and for getting me away from that dog", or, "You rat b***ard!"

In either case, I have new found, unique knowledge: raccoon urine smells worse than squirrel turds.

DJW

The roofing party is planned for the first week of April.
All the critters have been served eviction notices.

Not my fault?

2009-03-03T11:11:00.009-05:00

Responsibility.

At what stage do we take it? When do we stop blaming others for all of our troubles and misadventures?

Are we all truly innocent victims in this game called life?

Are we so inept we cannot take control of our impulses?

Do we really need someone to tell us what to do every time a situation comes up that makes us think, makes us uncomfortable, makes us be responsible for our own actions?

A 14 year old Hamilton youth has been arrested for and admitted to stealing more than 90 cars since last summer. More than 90!!(http://www.thespec.com/News/Local/article/522925)
But, wait, his family has someone else to hold responsible for this behavior! It cannot possibly be his fault, he is the product of a broken marriage! The Catholic Childrens Aid Society let him down! The Police didn't work hard enough to find him every time he went AWOL from his foster care! And, how dare they?, the Police actually had the nerve to take him down at gunpoint after he tried to flee and ram cruisers to do so!

I understand he is only 14 years old. In fact, that alone scares me! If he is this prolific a thief already just what can society expect when he is considered an adult? I understand he is small in stature and may have had older friends pressuring him to steal. But he is 14. He is old enough to know stealing cars or anything that doesn't belong to him is wrong. He is old enough to pick better friends. He is old enough to try to work with the foster families and agencies that try to help him.

The family also should take some of the responsibility here, instead of pointing fingers. There are many many children and adults out there who are the product of broken marriages. They don't all go out and steal or otherwise break laws and then say "oh poor me". Are we as a society supposed to take this young man to court and pat him on the back and say "it's okay son, we understand your family broke up so we are going to let you go!"?

The Police do everything they can to provide us with a safe world to reside in. They spend small fortunes every year tracking down these kids who run away from group homes and foster care to return them only to have them take off again. It is a vicious cycle.

So, who do we blame? Is it not time to stand up and say, "Hey! Maybe, just maybe, we need to be responsible for our own actions!"?

Maybe, just maybe, we need to return a little bit of discipline to our children in their formative years?

Maybe, just maybe, we need to work a little bit harder at making sure they understand what is right and what is not?

Maybe, just maybe, we all need to wake up in the morning, look in the mirror and say, "Today I will not blame anyone else for anything that occurs in my life. I will be responsible for myself. I will not knowingly cause harm to another. I will be happy with what I have and not try to improve my situation by abusing another."

This posting was submitted by The Darling Bride, DJ is in no way responsible! for my thoughts or comments

Which Came First?

2009-02-28T20:36:00.011-05:00

I dunno for for sure.

But I do know that I don't want to meet up with the chicken that laid these eggs.

When I first noticed these orb shaped structures in a back yard just outside the hamlet of Palermo, Ontario a few months back, I kept it to myself.

I feared that...

a) No one would believe me
b) That they would adjust my medication (again)
c) That they were real, and would hatch and take over the world

Later, while I had someone else in the van, I asked them to look and see if they too saw the Giant Eggs of Palermo.

They did.

And so to discount the theory of mass hallucinations and experimental drugs, we took some pictures.

As you can see, these 'eggs' are around 10 feet in diameter and have some sort of hatch (no pun intended) near the bottom.

Your mission, Rocket Rangers, is to guess what they are, and what their purpose is.

Once I get enough submissions I will approach the home owner (while wearing a tinfoil hat to protect me from alien anti-matter) and find out what they are.

The correct or closest guess will win, oh I don't know, a secret decoder ring or some x-ray specs.

Live long and prosper.

DJW

DJ has never been abducted and probed by aliens.
That he knows of.
Yet.

'Scuse Me?

2009-02-19T16:55:00.006-05:00

A story from Sun Media today describes the plight of some 85,000 people in Toronto, Ontario. These estimated 85,000 people are upset at Mayor David Miller because they are having a great deal of difficulty gaining access to Social Housing, Welfare, Health Care, Schools and better-than-minimum-wage jobs.

Yes, somewhere between the population of Niagara Falls (82,000) and Pickering (88,000) or, the combined population of Timmins and West Vancouver (source 2006 Census) are upset that they can't access the same Government run services as you and me.

Why not?

They are illegal immigrants.

I'm not making this up.

Eighty-Five Thousand Illegal Immigrants.

In Toronto alone.

Oh, it gets better. They have formed a coalition and are demanding the same rights as a person who was born here or who came here via the normal channels. They have a website, http://toronto.nooneisillegal.org , which has some very, shall we say, insightful reading.

Their list of 'demands' reads thus:

An end to all deportations and detentions
The implementation of a full and inclusive regularization program for all non-status people
Access without fear to essential services for all undocumented people
The recognition of indigenous sovereignty
An end to the exploitation of temporary workers
An end to all imperialist wars and occupations
An end to the use of Security Certificates and secret trials

End all deportations? Sure. We will let you stay here, even if you are a criminal. It took me about 12 seconds on the net to find a story we hear often, "Gang Member Deported, Again". I am well aware that these cases are 1%ers, but, it floors me that we can't keep foreign born criminals out, yet natural born criminals can't get a passport to leave.

Secret trials? Well I suppose if we knew about them they wouldn't be secret.

I won't comment on the rest of the list of demands.

This is not just a local organization, it is international.

The basic principle is that if they make it here, they shouldn't need to go through all the proper channels and we shouldn't make them leave.

I am not against immigration, it is necessary to our survival as a country.

I am not against true refugees, I remember the Boat People.

A quick survey of a few friends revealed what we all know; that either themselves or their immediate ancestry were immigrants. Heck we all descended from people from other countries.

Among my immediate co-workers are both First and Second Generation Canadian's. Their families both came here after wars, and landed legally. My In-Laws did the same. My Great Grandfather on my Mother's side came over in the Potato Famine. My Great Uncle went to England for WWI, and married and found work, but still had to return to Canada and apply, and he was a British Subject!

I work with a man born in Angola, who came here for a better life for his family, escaping a bloody civil war. Should he be sent home? No. He went through all the proper channels and jumped through all the hoops. It takes a lot of guts to uproot your family, but to him it was well worth it.

According to this Organization, all he should have had to do was get here.

He should feel cheated.

We all should feel cheated.

DJW

Why? Updated

2009-02-10T19:07:00.006-05:00

I have been trying to find a reason.

I want to have words of comfort.

I want to know where fairness is.

I cannot find any rational explanation why cancer had to take a 5 year old.

Farewell Caitlin.

In your short time you inspired and touched so many with your courage and spirit.

Rest in peace.

There has been a trust fund account set up to buy medical equipment for Mac Master Children's Hospital in Caitlin's name. Donations may be made at any Scotiabank in the name of Caitlin Hutson.

Work Hazards

2009-02-09T22:09:00.005-05:00

Why it takes me so long to create a blog....

Not the kind of mouse we'd hope he would go after!

DJW

...if your computer has mice, Orfeo will take care of them!

While The Mice Are Away....

2009-02-07T18:28:00.009-05:00

...The cats will play!

He he he.

Lets set the mood, shall we...

Its a relaxingly warm winter afternoon.

Both kids are out. Till late.

My Darling Bride gives me that special look and motions to the living room.

I get her oh-so-subtle hint and break out the vinyl.

You heard right. Vinyl.

We have a vinyl fetish of sorts. > ;-)~

The Rumours that I'm a Supertramp on 52nd Street are all True.

For dinner, we will dine on Shaved Fish and American Pie.

Later, at The Turn of a Friendly Card, we'll head out to Honky Chateau for a Second Helping.

Nothing compares to the vinyl experience.

With a 10 disc changer in my car, I can drive to Montreal and half way back and not hear the same song twice. We have enough CD's in the house to start a small, eclectic radio station. And with four hard drives in the house, it is entirely possible we could play 24/7 for a few weeks.

But an LP was an experience. With only eighteen minutes a side, the artist had very little time to capture your imagination, draw you in and keep you there. While Sgt. Pepper's and Tommy were basically rock musicals cast in plastic, landmark theme albums like Aqualung broke the mold.

While CD's and mp3's may have sound superiority and durability over vinyl, what they do not have is art. Each LP had at least 2 square feet of canvass to work with, twice as much if it was a double or folded album, and the art was worth half the money.

Who didn't have Led Zep IV , Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon, Queen's News of the World, Meatloaf's Bat Out of Hell or Uriah Heep's Magicians Birthday on their bedroom wall. Lets not forget The Cars! Candy O and Heartbeat City were as good as swiping your Dad's old Playboy's, with cover art by the venerable Vargas of Playboy and Esquire fame.

I hear that vinyl is making a comeback, driven by DJ's and the want for house music, but alas, its not the same. Today they are just a collection of songs, concept albums like In Search of the Lost Chord, Ziggy Stardust and The Wall just don't come out anymore.

These are truly the Days of Future Passed for us Vinylphiles.

If you started reading this blog thinking it was about something naughty, I'm sorry for the Cheap Trick.

DJW

DJ admits to having 2 K-Tel ablums, e-mail to find out what.

Here we go again.

2009-02-02T21:11:00.007-05:00

The Ontario Legislature has passed yet another unenforceable, un-needed law.

Bill 69, an act to protect children from second-hand tobacco smoke in motor vehicles by amending the Smoke-Free Ontario Act has come into effect.

What this law basically states is that you are not allowed to smoke in cars with children under the age of 16.

Apparently, if you are over 16, you are immune to second hand smoke.

My beef of this law is not the wording or concept, but the enforceability. I can see it becoming nothing more than a nuisance call for police.

Here is my (hopefully) imaginary call...

Operator: "Nine-one-one do you require Police, Fire or Ambulance?"

Caller:"Police, and quickly!

O:"What's the problem, Sir?"

C:"There's a guy driving west on East Street, just past North Ave. and he's smoking, and he has kids in the car!"

O:"That is a problem, Sir. I have two Officers in the area. Can you stay with him?"

C:"You should also know he's talking on a handset cellphone!"

O:"The Scofflaw! O.K. I've alerted the S.W.A.T. Team, they're on the way!"

C:"And...are you ready for this? There is a pillow clearly visible in the back window, and would you believe that the 'DO NOT REMOVE UNDER PENALTY OF LAW' tag has been torn off?"

O:"The chopper is in the air..."

O.K. so I went a bit overboard.

Maybe.

I am just so darned proud that there are people in my Government that are spending a lot of time and effort on these real issues instead of wasting themselves on trivial matters like, oh I don't know, LAND CLAIMS? Or justice reform? Or Senior Citizens living in poverty?

A wise man once said, "The State has no business in the bedrooms of the Nation."

Oh wait, that was a Politician.

A pretty big one too if I recall.

DJW

DJ was smoking when he typed this. Hopefully that's still legal.

Have you ever....

2009-02-01T16:06:00.010-05:00

...tried pricing building supplies online?

I don't mean low voltage lighting or sinks or designer toilets.

I mean for lumber, roofing, windows, you know, the stuff you actually build stuff with.

If you have, then you know my frustration with trying to price out what it will cost me to replace my roof.

It's not like I live in some backwoods, backwards town where there is only one lumberyard, and they know you by name. Where I live we have all the major players; Home Depot, Lowes, Home Building Center, Rona/Cashway, and a regional chain, Turkstra. So pricing a job in this, the age of Google, should be as easy as accessing a website and searching for a product, right?

Wrong. I can get prices for roofing tar and plywood clips, but not for roofing or plywood.

So, I have to estimate how much of each component I need, write it all down, then trundle off to my local building supply store, choosing either Big Box or Big Bux.

I have to find the material I want, jot down the price per sheet/foot/piece.Then I calculate the extended price at each store before I make my choice.

But wait there's more...

...because I want metal roofing, I can't even calculate it for myself. They don't post the prices of that stuff on the wall, to get prices you have to seek out an 'Associate' (that always makes me think of a bad mob movie, "Yo, I'm Vinny an dis is my associate, Guido.")

So, because I'm paying for this work myself (for the reason why, read this), and I don't want to spend any more than I have to, I need to repeat this process at every store.

The kick of this all is two fold:

most of them have a price match system, where they will match the prices of their competition, and
the 'Associates' have to punch up the prices on their own computers.

So why can't they link their databases to their websites? It would save a lot of time for us do-it-yourselfers.

If the retailers are forcing me to go traipsing about the town to get prices to save a buck on one thing and two bucks on another, that's how I'm going to buy it too. I'll buy the plywood at the store with the best price, the roofing at another store, soffit and fascia at another, eaves trough at the other guy and so on.

And I'll arrange for delivery from them all on the same day.

It's not like I live in some backwoods, backwards town where there is only one lumberyard, and they know you by name.

But if I did, it would go like this, "Fred? It's D.J. Yep, the girls are great. How's your boy? Good. listen, I need a new roof. Make it metal, green, 18 gauge. 10 square. 1/2" Sheathing, 125 feet of soffit and fascia, and 50 feet of eaves trough, 4 downspouts. Oh, and 25' of ridge vent. Yup, I'll be home Saturday before noon. Great, see ya at darts on Tuesday."

DJW

Don't get me started on pricing car parts on-line.

And Now...A Musical Interlude...

2009-01-18T16:52:00.009-05:00

I once read that writing about music was like dancing about architecture.

Then would writing about watching people make music be like painting about anthropology?

What brings this on is that I was minding my own business, waiting to be DaddyCab yesterday, when the radio station I was listening to played back-to-back cuts from The Band, Neil Young and Van Morrison.

Immediately, images of The Band's final concert, The Last Waltz, flashed in my head. For those who are uninitiated, this is widely considered the first concert movie, (Woodstock excepted) and was directed by none other than Martin Scorsese .

The premise was that The Band, after 16 years on the road, is quitting, and giving one final concert. They invited all those who's path they crossed, including the two musicians they were the back up band for, Rompin' Ronnie Hawkins and Bob Dylan. It includes the cream of the crop of 70's music, Eric Clapton, Van Morrison, Neil Young, Joni Mitchell, Ringo Starr, Ron Wood and on and on and on.

There is an absolutely moving version of The Weight, performed with a full gospel quartet.

But the show stealer is an out take that is included only on the DVD called Jam 2. What happens here is, the stage and everyone from the show is being set up for the Grand Finale, when a jam breaks out. It starts with Garth Hudson just chording on the organ, and Ringo joining in on the drums. Soon, everyone is in on the jam, feeding off each other and feeling the music.

Fortunately, the cameras were running. Unfortunately, they all burned out some 20 minutes in. I have found it on You Tube, but it is in two parts and not complete. Part one is here and part two is here. If you are musically inclined and haven't seen this spectacle, take 10 minutes and enjoy.

I have always been in awe of musicians who do more than play music, they feel music. This started when I was a child watching my Father with his violin or fiddle, and seeing him get 'lost' in the music. Luckily, I have video of him from his heyday in 50's and 60's, that I will share at a later date.

Later, I will also give insights on the genius of Randy Bachman, the Cowboy Junkies and other great acts that have moved me.

...Barry Manilow will not be on the list.

DJW