Can You Believe This?

I don't make this stuff up.

The link (including TV ad) is here.

Thing 2 wants 8 of them.

DJW

DJ's Sea Mokey's didn't survive the great toilet flood of 1973.

"Hello, Complaint Department?"

A recent errand run around the Megatropolis that I live in yielded me a bevy of observations of people and things that just plain tick me off.

First off, I was so unaware that we had such a collection of V.I.P.'s* near here. *Various Idiots & Peon's

I constantly see their limo's* parked at or near store entrances in plaza's with acre's of parking! *minivans and dusty 80's Oldsmobiles It makes me think that they are all Getaway Driver's! And it doesn't seem to matter the value of the store either! Grandpa's Buick in front of Price Choppers or, get this, a Hummer (H2, of course) blocking 3 cars at Starbucks. (for a reeeaaly bad, overpriced coffee. More on that in another column)

Don't get me started on Handicapped, or to be P.C., Accessible Parking.

OK, I'm started.

Those spots are for people with mobility problems, dammit!
Not for you 'cuz you're only gonna be a minute, not for you because you have the impaired person in the car and you're gonna run in for them, but for the actual people.

There's a guy at work that deals with this beautifully. He stands about 6 foot, runs about 220 lbs and has a lot of tattoo's. Looks like a Biker because he is. His wife is wheelchair bound. He goes up to people who park in these spots without entitlement and politely suggests they move. Should they resist, he suggests more strongly. He's been known to block offending vehicles while he and his wife go enjoy a leisurely dinner.

When did a red light become the signal for 2 or three more cars to proceed? Or trucks to just ignore?

A light near my office has transports running it on the way to the highway, sometimes they even sound the horn to clear the way! I was nearly squashed last week waiting to turn left, the transport approaching wasn't stopping for the red, and the transport behind me laid on his horn! I had to gun it and go up to the next light to turn! Seriously. I have developed the habit of waiting a few seconds after the green to see if anyone is racing through.

Bathrooms.

What is up with the little squares they pass as toilet paper? I'm removing fecal matter, not covering shaving cuts! With all the focus on hand hygiene, why not install foot pedals on the toilets? Your automatic-motion-detector tap is lovely, but how 'bout some hot water? Same for the hand dryer. Heat would be nice. The picto-gram instructions always leave out the last step... wipe your hands on your pants. The only units of these that I've seen actually work, are at a bar called Filthy Mc Nasty's. Those dryers are powered by Rolls Royce jet engines, I swear!

There, I feel better now.

DJW

DJ did not leave his SUV double parked in a handicapped spot while writing this.

Give us a Brake!

It's not a spelling mistake.

My Survey Crew was working near Milton today, on a road with no shoulders.

Now, call me strange (others have), but I feel responsible for my crew's safety. When traffic control is needed, I like to be flagman or drive the blocker truck. I can still direct operations by radio, and assist or advise when needed.

I hope they get the idea that I am don't just say I'm watching out for them, I actually am.

Today was no different.

Anyway, like I said, we were working on a two lane road with no shoulder, we've set up the work area as per Book 7 and I'm flagging, so all is well.

I saw him coming.

He broke through the last traffic light at the end of town. He was late. He was doing at least 80 in a 60. I started waving the 'Slow' paddle.

He was speeding up.

I gave the guys the 'heads up' over the radio, stepped out and turned the sign to 'Stop'.

He stopped. I told him I had a crew on the road and he needed to slow down. He countered with that he was doing the speed limit (he wasn't) and that my signs weren't adequate (they were).

He then speculated that my parents were never married.

Before I let him pass I pointed out that he was in a signed work zone and subject to double fines for speeding, and fines for disobeying a Flag Person. By then though, my objective of slowing him and protecting my crew was achieved.

Before he left he again made a speculation that my Mother was a canine.

Listen folks, it may seem that we take cruel pleasure in holding up traffic, but its the opposite. Our number one concern is worker safety. Our other number one concern is public safety. Where I work there is an unwritten rule (that is sometimes written) that on major routes we don't set up until after rush hour, and we follow it. Like I said above, it's for the public's and our safety.

Prior to 2005 the worst he could have been charged with was 'Failing to obey a lawful sign'
In 2005, the Ontario Highway Traffic Act was amended to include Section 146, part of which reads: (source E-Laws)

Traffic control stop and slow signs

146.1 (1) A traffic control person on a roadway or adjacent to a roadway where construction or maintenance work is being carried out may display a traffic control stop or slow sign. 2005, c. 26, Sched. A, s. 23.

Same – firefighters

(2) A firefighter on a roadway or adjacent to a roadway where an accident has occurred may display a traffic control stop or slow sign. 2005, c. 26, Sched. A, s. 23.

Driver required to stop

(3) Where a traffic control person or firefighter displays a traffic control stop sign, the driver of any vehicle or street car approaching the person shall stop before reaching him or her and shall not proceed until the traffic control person or firefighter stops displaying the traffic control stop sign. 2005, c. 26, Sched. A, s. 23.

Driver required to slow down

(4) Where a traffic control person or firefighter displays a traffic control slow sign, the driver of any vehicle or street car approaching the person shall approach the person and proceed past him or her and past the construction or maintenance work or scene of an accident with caution and at a slow rate of speed so as not to endanger any person or vehicle on or adjacent to the roadway. 2005, c. 26, Sched. A, s. 23.

Unauthorized use of sign

(5) No person other than a traffic control person or firefighter shall display on a highway a traffic control stop or slow sign. 2005, c. 26, Sched. A, s. 23.

Regulations

(6) The Lieutenant Governor in Council may make regulations prescribing the type, design and specifications of traffic control stop and slow signs. 2005, c. 26, Sched. A, s. 23.

Definitions

(7) In this section,

“construction or maintenance work” includes work by a utility, including a public utility within the meaning of the Public Utilities Act or the Municipal Act, 2001, or by a transmitter or distributor within the meaning of the Electricity Act, 1998; (“travaux de construction ou d’entretien”)

“firefighter” has the same meaning as in subsection 1 (1) of the Fire Protection and Prevention Act, 1997; (“pompier”)

“traffic control person” means a person who is directing traffic and,

(a) is employed by,

(i) the road authority with jurisdiction over the highway,

(ii) a public utility within the meaning of the Public Utilities Act or the Municipal Act, 2001,

(iii) a transmitter or distributor within the meaning of the Electricity Act, 1998, or

(iv) a person under contract with the road authority, public utility, transmitter or distributor to do construction or maintenance work on or adjacent to the roadway, or

(b) is employed by or under contract with a person who has been issued a permit or written authorization by the road authority with jurisdiction over the highway to occupy a lane or a portion of a highway in order to undertake work on or adjacent to the highway. (“agent de régulation de la circulation”) 2005, c. 26, Sched. A, s. 23.

Penalties start at $500 and 6 points.

If you've ever driven on a US Interstate, you've seen the signs dictating the penalties for injuring or killing a Road Worker or Police Officer working on the road. And they are a heck of a lot more.

None of those penalties equal that paid by said injured or dead Road Worker or Police Officer or their families.

Please give us a brake.

It's the law.

And we want to go home to our families too.

DJW

DJ wants the driver of the black Lexus, Ont. plate ###-XXX
( he wrote it down) to know he got off lucky today.
So did his crew.