Saturday, October 12, 2013

A Little Patch of Grass...UPDATED

There exists a little patch of grass outside the south windows of Our Humble Castle.

Not very big, about 40 feet by about 60 feet.

A cedar tree on the corner of that little patch of grass that was no bigger than our toddler's were when we moved in 20 years ago.

Not ours, but looks like ours.


It belongs to The Duplex around the corner, and because of the lot configuration and building locations, looks like a side yard for both our properties.

When we moved into Our Humble Castle, the sunlight reflecting off the snow covering that little patch of grass warmed our home, our plants, our pets and our hearts.

Still does.

When the snow melted, it became apparent that no one was going to mow that little patch of grass, so I did. The then Owner of The Duplex was an Absentee Landlord, as have all the others have been since. (seven, by our count) Some of them maintained that little patch of grass, some did not.  Over the years, I've mowed that little patch of grass and cleared the walks for some of the Absentee Landlord's.

Sometimes because they asked.

Sometimes because I had to.

I entered into Gentleman's Agreements with some owners, maintaining that little patch of grass in exchange for use of it when Canada Day parties got large.


A few years ago, a tenant of The Duplex planted some nice flowering shrubs along the edge of that little patch of grass, close to the street. They didn't look like they were going to make it that first summer, so I watered them along with my own flowers and plants.

It makes for a nice little corner; flowering shrubs, that cedar tree is over my eaves now, and a blue spruce we planted our first spring here (it had been our Christmas tree the year before) is about 25 feet high now.

In May of this year, The Duplex was purchased by yet another Absentee Landlord. He immediately got into a disagreement with one of the current Tenants (a nice, quiet guy) who served notice and moved out. When Thing 2 was looking for a place to live, she applied and when the Absentee Landlord found out we were her parents, he signed her right up.

He told me when we signed the lease that he was going to make an addition to the rear of The Duplex next year, and that was fine.

What he didn't disclose was a plan to erect a whole new structure on that little patch of grass.

Not fine.

The implications of this new building on Our Humble Castle would be tremendous. I did calculations and made drawings that demonstrated that it would block our sunlight for 6 months a year, leaving us in a dungeon. There are also many engineering problems involving soil conditions, water tables, sewers and foundations.

But mostly it's the sunlight, or proposed lack thereof.

M.D.B. spends a lot of time at a table beside one of those windows, sewing and crafting. Preparing dinner. Visiting with friends. Watching the world on that street. What would she do if there was no sunlight?

There would be no more scenes of the dog and cat curled up in the same warm patch on a February afternoon.

Dark and stark for about half the year.

The Absentee Landlord of The Duplex needs variances and approvals for his plan, and at a meeting in July, he got told by The City to go back and try again. His plans weren't complete.

So now he's trying again, with virtually the same plan..

We will be at that meeting again, fighting to keep our sunlight...

...and a little patch of grass.

DJW
 I'm fighting for the right to mow someone else's lawn?


Well the City turned the Absentee Landlord of The Duplex down.

So the little patch of grass is safe.

For now.
 

Friday, March 29, 2013

Unwritten Instructions

Holy poop!

Has it really been 6 months?

Egads!

Time flies when your having fun...working on a classic travel trailer, fixing cars, having Grandchildren, working overtime, etc.

O.K. Some of those excuses were lame, but all true.

This one is for the gear-heads among you...and the people who love them.

If any of you have worked on a vehicle built since 1970, you know that some of the jobs that were simple in the past have become much more complicated.

Changing the fuel pump on a 1960's era 292 CID  GMC motor took 2 wrenches and 10 minutes...changing the fuel pump on most newer vehicles involves removing the fuel tank.

Changing a fuel filter was 2 hose clamps... now it may be in the tank.

Changing the air filter on an old car involved removing a wing nut.

I changed an air filter last week.

The instructions (if I had some) would have read, "Un-clip 2 clips on Air Box, loosen air plenum clamps, remove lower hose, remove air box housing, replace filter. Re-install in reverse." They would not likely have pointed out that you have to disconnect or remove 3 sensors, loosen throttle cable assembly, and skin at least one knuckle getting the breather hose out.

Sure there are how to books, with written instructions, diagrams and photo's of smiley people doing work on their own vehicles with clean hands and no effort.

...and they are all wrong.

I have used those books in the past, and used the internet in the present, and almost all of the resources I have found leave out some important steps.

Last week, I started a tune up on Geri R. Buick, our 2004 Rendezvous. At 230,000 km she still had the factory plugs and wires. I say started because like with most front wheel drive V6's, the front three spark plugs and wires are easy to get to.  When it came time to get at the back three, I relied on past experience to get me through.

I tried from the top first. I could touch one wire. There was nothing I could easily remove to get at anything else.

I tried from the bottom next. Same result, same wire.

I put everything away and decided to do some research and get it done this weekend. (It was cold out)

So I consulted the internet. "It's easy", they all said...
  1. Remove air intake hose (and the 3 sensors, skinning at least one knuckle. See above)
  2. Remove upper torque link bolts
  3. Chock wheels
  4. Shift into neutral
  5. Use a ratchet strap to roll engine forward
  6. Taa Daa, Bippity-Boppity-Boo and Bobs' your Uncle! You can change the plugs and wires! They will practically fall out! 
  7. Ha! We fooled you!
  Here are the missing steps...
  1. Remove upper radiator hose
  2. Spill coolant on everything nearby
  3. Perform steps 1 thru 5 above
  4. Attempt to get your hands around, over, or beside distributor assembly
  5. Number all 6 plug wires before removing distributor assembly
  6. Unplug 4 control plugs to distributor assembly
  7. Disconnect alternator to give yourself enough room to get at rear mounting bracket nuts
  8. Remove distributor assembly nuts and bolts using 2 different size wrenches
  9. Consider removing wiper drive arms to get distributor assembly out
  10. Wiggle and twist distributor assembly until it breaks free of the 2 inch long studs on the rear
  11. You may now access the rear spark plugs and wires, Mortal.
Three spark plugs and wires...4 hours

Here are some more of  what I call, "Unwritten Instructions."

1990's Windstar # 1,3 & 5 Spark Plug Removal:
  1. Remove radio antenna (I kid you not) 
  2. Remove wiper blades
  3. Remove cowl cover
  4. Remove heater duct
  5. Remove spark plug wires and plugs
1988 Sunbird Starter Removal:
  1. Remove passenger side front wheel 
  2. Reach though steering opening to remove starter bolts
  3. Remove heater blower. 
  4. Pull starter out and up through top (The starter is on the other side of the car, you just can't get it out that side)
2000's Jetta Starter Removal:
  1. Remove Auxiliary Fuse Panel
  2. Remove Battery
  3. Remove Battery Box (rear starter mounting bolts are under the battery)
1980 GM X-Body Clutch Removal:
  1. Remove engine (it's easier than pulling the trans-axle)
1990's Caravan #5 Spark Plug Removal:
  1. Can't be done 
These are only a sample of what I have encountered.

I hope these tips help you in your quest to perform simple (!) auto maintenance, and if you have any tips to pass along, feel free.

DJW
To think, I once wanted to be a mechanic.