Work Hazards

Why it takes me so long to create a blog....




Not the kind of mouse we'd hope he would go after!

DJW

...if your computer has mice, Orfeo will take care of them!

While The Mice Are Away....

...The cats will play!

He he he.

Lets set the mood, shall we...

Its a relaxingly warm winter afternoon.

Both kids are out. Till late.

My Darling Bride gives me that special look and motions to the living room.

I get her oh-so-subtle hint and break out the vinyl.

You heard right. Vinyl.

We have a vinyl fetish of sorts. > ;-)~

The Rumours that I'm a Supertramp on 52nd Street are all True.

For dinner, we will dine on Shaved Fish and American Pie.

Later, at The Turn of a Friendly Card, we'll head out to Honky Chateau for a Second Helping.

Nothing compares to the vinyl experience.

With a 10 disc changer in my car, I can drive to Montreal and half way back and not hear the same song twice. We have enough CD's in the house to start a small, eclectic radio station. And with four hard drives in the house, it is entirely possible we could play 24/7 for a few weeks.

But an LP was an experience. With only eighteen minutes a side, the artist had very little time to capture your imagination, draw you in and keep you there. While Sgt. Pepper's and Tommy were basically rock musicals cast in plastic, landmark theme albums like Aqualung broke the mold.

While CD's and mp3's may have sound superiority and durability over vinyl, what they do not have is art. Each LP had at least 2 square feet of canvass to work with, twice as much if it was a double or folded album, and the art was worth half the money.

Who didn't have Led Zep IV , Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon, Queen's News of the World, Meatloaf's Bat Out of Hell or Uriah Heep's Magicians Birthday on their bedroom wall. Lets not forget The Cars! Candy O and Heartbeat City were as good as swiping your Dad's old Playboy's, with cover art by the venerable Vargas of Playboy and Esquire fame.

I hear that vinyl is making a comeback, driven by DJ's and the want for house music, but alas, its not the same. Today they are just a collection of songs, concept albums like In Search of the Lost Chord, Ziggy Stardust and The Wall just don't come out anymore.

These are truly the Days of Future Passed for us Vinylphiles.

If you started reading this blog thinking it was about something naughty, I'm sorry for the Cheap Trick.

DJW

DJ admits to having 2 K-Tel ablums, e-mail to find out what.

Here we go again.

The Ontario Legislature has passed yet another unenforceable, un-needed law.

Bill 69, an act to protect children from second-hand tobacco smoke in motor vehicles by amending the Smoke-Free Ontario Act has come into effect.

What this law basically states is that you are not allowed to smoke in cars with children under the age of 16.

Apparently, if you are over 16, you are immune to second hand smoke.

My beef of this law is not the wording or concept, but the enforceability. I can see it becoming nothing more than a nuisance call for police.

Here is my (hopefully) imaginary call...

Operator: "Nine-one-one do you require Police, Fire or Ambulance?"

Caller:"Police, and quickly!

O:"What's the problem, Sir?"

C:"There's a guy driving west on East Street, just past North Ave. and he's smoking, and he has kids in the car!"

O:"That is a problem, Sir. I have two Officers in the area. Can you stay with him?"

C:"You should also know he's talking on a handset cellphone!"

O:"The Scofflaw! O.K. I've alerted the S.W.A.T. Team, they're on the way!"

C:"And...are you ready for this? There is a pillow clearly visible in the back window, and would you believe that the 'DO NOT REMOVE UNDER PENALTY OF LAW' tag has been torn off?"

O:"The chopper is in the air..."

O.K. so I went a bit overboard.

Maybe.

I am just so darned proud that there are people in my Government that are spending a lot of time and effort on these real issues instead of wasting themselves on trivial matters like, oh I don't know, LAND CLAIMS? Or justice reform? Or Senior Citizens living in poverty?

A wise man once said, "The State has no business in the bedrooms of the Nation."

Oh wait, that was a Politician.

A pretty big one too if I recall.

DJW

DJ was smoking when he typed this. Hopefully that's still legal.

Have you ever....

...tried pricing building supplies online?

I don't mean low voltage lighting or sinks or designer toilets.

I mean for lumber, roofing, windows, you know, the stuff you actually build stuff with.

If you have, then you know my frustration with trying to price out what it will cost me to replace my roof.

It's not like I live in some backwoods, backwards town where there is only one lumberyard, and they know you by name. Where I live we have all the major players; Home Depot, Lowes, Home Building Center, Rona/Cashway, and a regional chain, Turkstra. So pricing a job in this, the age of Google, should be as easy as accessing a website and searching for a product, right?

Wrong. I can get prices for roofing tar and plywood clips, but not for roofing or plywood.

So, I have to estimate how much of each component I need, write it all down, then trundle off to my local building supply store, choosing either Big Box or Big Bux.

I have to find the material I want, jot down the price per sheet/foot/piece.Then I calculate the extended price at each store before I make my choice.

But wait there's more...

...because I want metal roofing, I can't even calculate it for myself. They don't post the prices of that stuff on the wall, to get prices you have to seek out an 'Associate' (that always makes me think of a bad mob movie, "Yo, I'm Vinny an dis is my associate, Guido.")

So, because I'm paying for this work myself (for the reason why, read this), and I don't want to spend any more than I have to, I need to repeat this process at every store.

The kick of this all is two fold:

• most of them have a price match system, where they will match the prices of their competition, and
• the 'Associates' have to punch up the prices on their own computers.

So why can't they link their databases to their websites? It would save a lot of time for us do-it-yourselfers.

If the retailers are forcing me to go traipsing about the town to get prices to save a buck on one thing and two bucks on another, that's how I'm going to buy it too. I'll buy the plywood at the store with the best price, the roofing at another store, soffit and fascia at another, eaves trough at the other guy and so on.

And I'll arrange for delivery from them all on the same day.

It's not like I live in some backwoods, backwards town where there is only one lumberyard, and they know you by name.

But if I did, it would go like this, "Fred? It's D.J. Yep, the girls are great. How's your boy? Good. listen, I need a new roof. Make it metal, green, 18 gauge. 10 square. 1/2" Sheathing, 125 feet of soffit and fascia, and 50 feet of eaves trough, 4 downspouts. Oh, and 25' of ridge vent. Yup, I'll be home Saturday before noon. Great, see ya at darts on Tuesday."

DJW

Don't get me started on pricing car parts on-line.

And Now...A Musical Interlude...

I once read that writing about music was like dancing about architecture.

Then would writing about watching people make music be like painting about anthropology?

What brings this on is that I was minding my own business, waiting to be DaddyCab yesterday, when the radio station I was listening to played back-to-back cuts from The Band, Neil Young and Van Morrison.

Immediately, images of The Band's final concert, The Last Waltz, flashed in my head. For those who are uninitiated, this is widely considered the first concert movie, (Woodstock excepted) and was directed by none other than Martin Scorsese .

The premise was that The Band, after 16 years on the road, is quitting, and giving one final concert. They invited all those who's path they crossed, including the two musicians they were the back up band for, Rompin' Ronnie Hawkins and Bob Dylan. It includes the cream of the crop of 70's music, Eric Clapton, Van Morrison, Neil Young, Joni Mitchell, Ringo Starr, Ron Wood and on and on and on.

There is an absolutely moving version of The Weight, performed with a full gospel quartet.

But the show stealer is an out take that is included only on the DVD called Jam 2. What happens here is, the stage and everyone from the show is being set up for the Grand Finale, when a jam breaks out. It starts with Garth Hudson just chording on the organ, and Ringo joining in on the drums. Soon, everyone is in on the jam, feeding off each other and feeling the music.

Fortunately, the cameras were running. Unfortunately, they all burned out some 20 minutes in. I have found it on You Tube, but it is in two parts and not complete. Part one is here and part two is here. If you are musically inclined and haven't seen this spectacle, take 10 minutes and enjoy.

I have always been in awe of musicians who do more than play music, they feel music. This started when I was a child watching my Father with his violin or fiddle, and seeing him get 'lost' in the music. Luckily, I have video of him from his heyday in 50's and 60's, that I will share at a later date.

Later, I will also give insights on the genius of Randy Bachman, the Cowboy Junkies and other great acts that have moved me.

...Barry Manilow will not be on the list.

DJW

Driving a Rolling Billboard? Be careful...

...and the Idiot Driver of the Day award goes to...(drum roll please)

..the Loader Operator from Riverside Landscaping and Contracting. (applause, applause)

Around 6:30 this morning, I'm driving down Hwy 5 in Flamborough, (for those of you who don't know the road, insert your local two lane former highway replaced by a four lane freeway here) and I'm doing ok at 80 KPH, it was a little slippery, but not too bad.

The car ahead suddenly brakes, and we slow down to 20-ish. I can see a long line of traffic and up on a hill far, far ahead is a blue flashing light.

"Cool, they are plowing early", I said out loud, to no one in the car.

As we plod along, I notice three things:

1. The road is not plowed and sanded
   
2. We are travelling awfully slow, even for following a plow
3. People are actually passing the plow.

"Idiots", I again say out loud, to still no one in the car.

As the number of vehicles between the 'plow' and I diminishes, I come to realize that the 'plow' is actually a front end loader, and is merely driving on the road from one job to another. The company name, "Riverside", plastered all over it

"Idiot", I say once again out loud, this time aimed at the Loader Operator.

By the time we get to where the road widens to four lanes, there were cars backed up for as far as the eye could see.

Time for my usual digression...

...way back when, in my early days in the Army, a Driving Instructor passed along this pearl of advice, which I took to heart and have passed along myself: "When you are driving a rolling billboard, you had best not drive like an idiot, because people will have an easier time complaining."

People who drive very distinguishable vehicles, with names and phone numbers all over them, and those with personalized license plates are more likely to have complaints lodged against them because, well, they are easier targets.

This became evident to me early on. I was delivering pizza's in a 1974 Javelin that was a work in progress. It was mostly green, with the front fenders being a different green than the rest of the car, a white roof, a yellow drivers door and a primered rear quarter. I was pulled over one night because the Police were looking for a car that 'fit that description'. I suspect it was the only car ever to 'fit that description' . I charmed my way out of that ticket.

I had a taxi with personalized plates, and that worked in my favour. If one of my drivers was up to something, I would get a call from the Dispatcher or from some of my Police buddies to let me know what they were up to.

I was driving down the 402 near Sarnia late one night/early one morning when I received a cell call from my dispatcher (M.D.B. by chance). It seems the Strathroy O.P.P. had clocked me @ 140 kph and were worried that something was wrong. Of course they got the phone number from the car and called our office.

I have used this the other way.

A few years ago I witnessed a maniac on the Q.E.W. who was driving a delivery van like it was a stolen Honda. I called the phone number that was plastered all over the side and back of it to complain. The manager I spoke to on the other end said, "Well, that's it for him, this is the last time. I have had a lot of complaint's about him."

So, if you lost you job because of a phone complaint a few years ago, that could have been me.

All the Idiot in the Loader had to do was pull over every now and then to let traffic pass. What he really should have done by law was float the machine by flatbed from one job to the next.

And if that Front End Loader Operator from Riverside Landscaping and Construction gets in trouble, he should have known he was driving a rolling billboard.

DJW

We Are Not Impressed

We received a belated Christmas gift from our insurance company.

But first, some background.

In the late fall of 1993 we were lamenting at paying over $600 a month rent for a small 3 bedroom apartment with no yard. I was driving and M.D.B. was dispatching taxi's. We could afford the rent, so we figured we could afford a mortgage. But with no down payment, and being self employed, nobody would touch us. Then one of our taxi drivers who was also a part time real estate agent left that months catalog at the office.

There it was.

Butter yellow, 1 1/2 story, 2+1 bedroom, 40' x 125' lot, shed, and a yard. Thing One was toddling and Thing 2 would be any day now.

List price?

$42,500

Bank repo.

Been on the market for three years.

It was some might call a handyman's special.

Most said it needed a wrecking ball.

A friend in real estate took care of everything, even arranging our financing.

My Darling Bride and I took possession of Our Humble Castle on January 1st, 1994 with a $40,000 mortgage and a $15,000 renovation loan.

Now I digress even further. (if that is possible)

In late 1992 we had 2 Things in car seats and a 1986 Mustang. While Mustangs are renown for a lot of things, a family car isn't one of them. With us, 2 car seats, diaper bag and stroller on board, we had to have the groceries delivered.

A single friend of ours had a 1977 Suburban Trailering Special. He heard echos inside that beast.

So we proposed and agreed to an even swap.

James, the Suburban was mint inside, and mechanically perfect. It needed very minor body work so the next spring I fixed it and painted it.

Flash forward to 1994.

In April while still doing renovations to Our Humble Castle, James the Suburban was stolen from a parking lot. He was recovered with a broken wing window, smashed column, and a blown engine. The blown engine wasn't discovered until after the window and steering column were repaired.

At that point, the insurance company balked at replacing the engine on a 17 year old truck. I had to remind them of 2 things: a) we hadn't made use of the rental vehicle provisions of our policy and b) we had replacement insurance. They would have to replace a Suburban, in the same condition as ours was before the theft. After a few nasty phone calls, a visit or two from an Adjuster and affidavits from a mechanic, they finally relented-- then canceled our replacement clause.

...Meanwhile, back at Our Humble Castle:

at $40,000 even in 1994 prices, it was you might call a fixer-upper. One of the things that needed fixing-upping (?) was the roof. The shingles were at least 15 years old and showing wear, and, they were an ugly tan/diarrhea brown too.

As there was only one layer of shingles, a tear off wasn't necessary.

As soon as the weather turned warm, I ordered enough 25 year shingles to do the job, as I didn't want to to it again anytime soon. I devised a ramp to pull them up there on my dolly, and spent two days banging away on our roof.

Now to the present day...

the roof held up well these past 15 years, keeping us dry. Last fall I noted there was curling happening and I would have to replace it sooner than the projected 25 year lifespan of the shingles. At this point we felt metal roofing would be best, as it would match the vintage of the house, and we would definitely never need to replace it. But due to the cost, it would have to wait till tax time next spring.

Sunday, December 28th there came a wind that would have made Dorothy poop her pants, and poor Toto would have had kittens. I came home from cooking at a charity breakfast to find shingles in our yard.

Many black shingles.

We have the only black roof in the neighbourhood.

I looked up, and I could see ugly tan/diarrhea brown shingles looking back at me. I had almost forgotten how bad they looked.

So I called our insurance company. When the Adjuster called me back, he apologized for the delay, as he was handling many of these types of calls, and he was waiting for his Adjuster to call back about the damage to his roof.

Great, at least he'll be sympathetic.

A crew of two guys came out the next day to assess the damage and take pictures. They inspected everything, I signed some stuff and they said a real crew would be out the next day to tarp it off.

Sure enough, a crew showed up, laid out a pretty blue tarp and nailed it down. At least we were protected from the elements.

The next day, the Adjuster calls back. Due to the age and condition of the shingles, the decision is to not replace the roof.

Not repair the roof.

We get a tarp.

But they aren't going to charge us the $300 deductible and we can keep the tarp.

How magnanimous.

A free blue poly tarp.

Installed even.

A further call from the insurance company states that they are not going to cover us for any water damage due to leaks until we replace the roof. Oh, and we must replace the roof before they renew us.

We have news for them.

We will replace the roof as planned, with lifetime steel, take all the pictures they want and forward them to whoever they want us to.

Then we will replace our insurance company.

We are not impressed.

DJW

If anyone needs a roof sized blue poly tarp, we will have one available in April.