A Little Patch of Grass...UPDATED

There exists a little patch of grass outside the south windows of Our Humble Castle.

Not very big, about 40 feet by about 60 feet.

A cedar tree on the corner of that little patch of grass that was no bigger than our toddler's were when we moved in 20 years ago.

Not ours, but looks like ours.


It belongs to The Duplex around the corner, and because of the lot configuration and building locations, looks like a side yard for both our properties.

When we moved into Our Humble Castle, the sunlight reflecting off the snow covering that little patch of grass warmed our home, our plants, our pets and our hearts.

Still does.

When the snow melted, it became apparent that no one was going to mow that little patch of grass, so I did. The then Owner of The Duplex was an Absentee Landlord, as have all the others have been since. (seven, by our count) Some of them maintained that little patch of grass, some did not.  Over the years, I've mowed that little patch of grass and cleared the walks for some of the Absentee Landlord's.

Sometimes because they asked.

Sometimes because I had to.

I entered into Gentleman's Agreements with some owners, maintaining that little patch of grass in exchange for use of it when Canada Day parties got large.


A few years ago, a tenant of The Duplex planted some nice flowering shrubs along the edge of that little patch of grass, close to the street. They didn't look like they were going to make it that first summer, so I watered them along with my own flowers and plants.

It makes for a nice little corner; flowering shrubs, that cedar tree is over my eaves now, and a blue spruce we planted our first spring here (it had been our Christmas tree the year before) is about 25 feet high now.

In May of this year, The Duplex was purchased by yet another Absentee Landlord. He immediately got into a disagreement with one of the current Tenants (a nice, quiet guy) who served notice and moved out. When Thing 2 was looking for a place to live, she applied and when the Absentee Landlord found out we were her parents, he signed her right up.

He told me when we signed the lease that he was going to make an addition to the rear of The Duplex next year, and that was fine.

What he didn't disclose was a plan to erect a whole new structure on that little patch of grass.

Not fine.

The implications of this new building on Our Humble Castle would be tremendous. I did calculations and made drawings that demonstrated that it would block our sunlight for 6 months a year, leaving us in a dungeon. There are also many engineering problems involving soil conditions, water tables, sewers and foundations.

But mostly it's the sunlight, or proposed lack thereof.

M.D.B. spends a lot of time at a table beside one of those windows, sewing and crafting. Preparing dinner. Visiting with friends. Watching the world on that street. What would she do if there was no sunlight?

There would be no more scenes of the dog and cat curled up in the same warm patch on a February afternoon.

Dark and stark for about half the year.

The Absentee Landlord of The Duplex needs variances and approvals for his plan, and at a meeting in July, he got told by The City to go back and try again. His plans weren't complete.

So now he's trying again, with virtually the same plan..

We will be at that meeting again, fighting to keep our sunlight...

...and a little patch of grass.

DJW

 I'm fighting for the right to mow someone else's lawn?

Well the City turned the Absentee Landlord of The Duplex down.

So the little patch of grass is safe.

For now.

 

Unwritten Instructions

Holy poop!

Has it really been 6 months?

Egads!

Time flies when your having fun...working on a classic travel trailer, fixing cars, having Grandchildren, working overtime, etc.

O.K. Some of those excuses were lame, but all true.

This one is for the gear-heads among you...and the people who love them.

If any of you have worked on a vehicle built since 1970, you know that some of the jobs that were simple in the past have become much more complicated.

Changing the fuel pump on a 1960's era 292 CID  GMC motor took 2 wrenches and 10 minutes...changing the fuel pump on most newer vehicles involves removing the fuel tank.

Changing a fuel filter was 2 hose clamps... now it may be in the tank.

Changing the air filter on an old car involved removing a wing nut.

I changed an air filter last week.

The instructions (if I had some) would have read, "Un-clip 2 clips on Air Box, loosen air plenum clamps, remove lower hose, remove air box housing, replace filter. Re-install in reverse." They would not likely have pointed out that you have to disconnect or remove 3 sensors, loosen throttle cable assembly, and skin at least one knuckle getting the breather hose out.

Sure there are how to books, with written instructions, diagrams and photo's of smiley people doing work on their own vehicles with clean hands and no effort.

...and they are all wrong.

I have used those books in the past, and used the internet in the present, and almost all of the resources I have found leave out some important steps.

Last week, I started a tune up on Geri R. Buick, our 2004 Rendezvous. At 230,000 km she still had the factory plugs and wires. I say started because like with most front wheel drive V6's, the front three spark plugs and wires are easy to get to.  When it came time to get at the back three, I relied on past experience to get me through.

I tried from the top first. I could touch one wire. There was nothing I could easily remove to get at anything else.

I tried from the bottom next. Same result, same wire.

I put everything away and decided to do some research and get it done this weekend. (It was cold out)

So I consulted the internet. "It's easy", they all said...

1. Remove air intake hose (and the 3 sensors, skinning at least one knuckle. See above)
2. Remove upper torque link bolts
3. Chock wheels
4. Shift into neutral
5. Use a ratchet strap to roll engine forward
6. Taa Daa, Bippity-Boppity-Boo and Bobs' your Uncle! You can change the plugs and wires! They will practically fall out! 
7. Ha! We fooled you!

  Here are the missing steps...

1. Remove upper radiator hose
2. Spill coolant on everything nearby
3. Perform steps 1 thru 5 above
4. Attempt to get your hands around, over, or beside distributor assembly
5. Number all 6 plug wires before removing distributor assembly
6. Unplug 4 control plugs to distributor assembly
7. Disconnect alternator to give yourself enough room to get at rear mounting bracket nuts
8. Remove distributor assembly nuts and bolts using 2 different size wrenches
9. Consider removing wiper drive arms to get distributor assembly out
10. Wiggle and twist distributor assembly until it breaks free of the 2 inch long studs on the rear
11. You may now access the rear spark plugs and wires, Mortal.

Three spark plugs and wires...4 hours

Here are some more of  what I call, "Unwritten Instructions."

1990's Windstar # 1,3 & 5 Spark Plug Removal:

1. Remove radio antenna (I kid you not) 
2. Remove wiper blades
3. Remove cowl cover
4. Remove heater duct
5. Remove spark plug wires and plugs

1988 Sunbird Starter Removal:

1. Remove passenger side front wheel 
2. Reach though steering opening to remove starter bolts
3. Remove heater blower. 
4. Pull starter out and up through top (The starter is on the other side of the car, you just can't get it out that side)

2000's Jetta Starter Removal:

1. Remove Auxiliary Fuse Panel
2. Remove Battery
3. Remove Battery Box (rear starter mounting bolts are under the battery)

1980 GM X-Body Clutch Removal:

1. Remove engine (it's easier than pulling the trans-axle)

1990's Caravan #5 Spark Plug Removal:

1. Can't be done 

These are only a sample of what I have encountered.

I hope these tips help you in your quest to perform simple (!) auto maintenance, and if you have any tips to pass along, feel free.

DJW

To think, I once wanted to be a mechanic.

Have a Good What?!?!

Way back when, in days of yore, at the end of a transaction with the grocer, butcher, barber, etc, I would be dismissed with the following phrase, "Have a good day."

Or words to that effect.

An innocuous enough sentiment. Wishing me generally well for my immediate future.

But now, the clerk at my local Shopper's, Timmy's, Gas Bar and pretty much everywhere else I patronize ends the transaction with the following statement: "Have a good one."

But...have a good what?

Is it now up to me what I have a good one of?

Can they no longer offer me anything specific?

Is it a politically correct, gender neutral thing?

Should I have a good drive home?

A good time picking my lottery numbers?

Maybe a good dinner?

Fergawdssake, help me out here!

A good walk with my dog?

How about good time with my spouse?

Perhaps a good hair day?

Throw me a bone!

A good belch at the end of my meal?

A good cup of coffee?

A good nights sleep?

Give me a goal!

Have a good life?

Have a good bowel movement?

A good colonoscopy?


For crying out loud, don't be namby-pamby about it, be specific!

I CAN'T TAKE THE PRESSURE!

DJW

"I'm not crazy I'm just a little unwell..."

 

Born a Rebel

Born in a small town in South Ontario in the 50's,
it wasn't hard to want more from life than farm country could offer.

In a house full of music, she taught herself guitar, then eventually fiddle.

But it was her voice that was her true instrument.

In the 70's, she chased a dream to the west coast. Her dream chased her back.

She picked up work singing for some local Country Bands, and was good at it.

She earned a living as a bookkeeper, but music was always her passion.

Still the rebel, even with her job, she could be seen riding from client to client, on a Harley in a flowing dress, fur coat and an Easy Rider red white and blue helmet. Her employer at the time, a respectable art agency strongly urged her to change her mode of transportation, so she traded the Harley on a Cordoba. That didn't work for her, so she dumped the Cordoba for a T-Bird. 460 4bbl. White-on-white-on-white.

That fit.

A brunette Suzanne Sommers.

But the dream still beckoned.

She eventually found herself back on the left coast, this time in California. And the car for her now was a 68 Charger, 440 6-pack, red with a maple leaf in the middle of the white roof. She called it the Norma Lee.

Take that, General Lee!

She adopted Norma Lee as her name, a truncated version of her given name, Norma Louise.  

It wasn't long before she hooked up with the local Country Music scene, and then found the right music for her, Western Swing

She had some success, a few recordings. More than most of us could expect.

Writing music became a profitable sideline.

She still preferred performing, and did it whenever she could. 

A number of years ago, some strange things started happening, her fingers weren't working properly.

Parkinson's Disease.

Playing music became a problem. But she still sang and wrote.

Then Parkinson's took her signing voice.

She still wrote and collaborated.

When her husband died last year, he had the forethought to set her up in an assisted care community. Still her own home, but help on-site if she needed it.

About a month ago they diagnosed her with cancer. Liver, gall bladder, lungs and tumours in her brain.

Music was her passion.

Poetry her forte.

She is singing again, with a great back up band, and a huge audience.

DJW

When I turned 30, she declared me her older brother.

Farewell to my younger sister.

Enjoy the music. 

Again? Already?

 

 It's that time of the year again. 

Some people use New Years to reflect, I use my birthday.

My birthday traditionally falls on the Victoria Day long weekend. Here that means the un-official start to summer, parties, BBQ's, camping and fireworks.

When I was little, I thought they had fireworks just because it was my birthday.

When I was a younger, immortal man, it meant a weekend long camping party, the ones that movies are made of now.

A number of years ago, we went on a fruitless search of fireworks, and I was left feeling empty. That was near the time that the Old Man's health was deteriorating, and I was coming to grips with being a mere mortal.

Two years ago, My Darling Bride and several cohorts managed to pull off a surprise party on me. The first one I ever had.

This year, as I sat on the back patio listening to the fireworks going off around me, and thinking about the past year, I realize that all things considered, I'm pretty lucky.

Sure, I've got creaks and kinks that take an hour to work out every morning. A new health challenge, but it's not life threatening. Old health quirks that make life a little interesting, but that is just normal wear and tear as far as I'm concerned.

But the pluses outweigh the minuses.

I've been married for over twenty years to My Darling Bride who is also my best friend. (can you believe that? over 20!)

Thing One had her live debut last night, with much applause.

Thing Two has a steady job and is getting her feet under her.

Boy Thing has his life organized, if not his day.

I have a good job.

The yard is getting back in shape.

Project Bubble is coming along. (more on that later).

The bills are paid.

All in all, I'm pretty well off!

Cue the fireworks!

DJW 

In honour of the anniversary of DJ's 29th birthday, 

Canadians may have a day off with pay...

...and fireworks.

You're welcome.

Spellling Counts.

I got pulled over the other day.

Not exactly headline news, but kinda funny when you hear the whole story.

In my 30+ years of driving, I've been pulled over several times before.

Twice at gunpoint.

The first time was when I was driving cab. The cruisers boxed me in and an Officer came up from behind and extracted my none-too-happy passenger. When I told them he hadn't paid the six dollar fare yet, they pulled ten bucks out of his shirt and gave it to me. Cool! Cops, guns, and a four dollar tip!

The second take down happened when I was driving to work one dark winter morning.

I was waiting at a light not far from home, driving a dark blue Sunbird, when a cruiser pulled across my nose, lights flashing. The Cop hopped out, pointed his weapon at me and ordered me to put my hands on the dash. He asked me some questions about who I was and where I was going at this time of the morning. When I convinced him I was not up to no good, he explained that someone driving a car fitting that description was involved in a hold up a few blocks away not long before. There were three identical Sunbird's within two blocks of my home at that time.

M.D.B. had been a Police Communicator for quite some time at this point, and I understood that sometimes mix ups happen.

I was pulled over one other time for driving a car that 'matches the description'.

I was driving a 1974 AMC Javelin, dark green with primer on the rear 1/4's, a white roof and yellow doors. I believe it was the only car ever to match that description. Yet I didn't get a ticket.

Yesterday was kinda different.

Traffic was stop and go, up to 2nd gear maximum. I saw the cruiser behind me, but I had no concerns. The van in front of me drifted to the left, and I followed suit, trying to see the tail lights of the car 2 or 3 in front of me. Something I've learned about early braking. When the cruiser activated it's lights and motioned me to pull over, I thought I might have a light out or something similar. No way I could have been speeding.

When the Officer came up to the door, the story started to unfold.

"I noticed you were weaving back there. Had anything to drink today?"

"Um, nope. I'm just on my way home from work." Then I explained about early braking.

He asked where I worked and I told him. Then he asked what I did.

"I'm a Surveyor."

"Oh, that's what that says."

The frame around my license plate reads, "Surveyors know all the angles."

"What's with the part about knowing all the angels? Are you associated with the Hell's Angel's?"

"Um, that's angles. Like degrees, minutes and seconds. That's what I do, measure angles."

He ran my license anyway, and once he was satisfied that I was not drunk, nor a member of an outlaw biker gang, or a combination of both, he let me go with the following warning, "You should fix that. People in Law Enforcement might get the wrong idea."

First time in almost 13 years anyone has.

DJW

A professionally made sign I've seen lately urges you to 'Buy your supply's"
Does no one know how to speel any more?
...or use the F7 key?

Locates, Locates, Locates!

We interrupt your day with the following Public Service Announcement:

Call Before You Dig!

Unless you have x-ray glasses that can see whats below the grass, make that phone call.

It can save your life.

As most of you know, I've been working in Municipal Construction for a lot of years, and I can tell you first hand that too frequently underground utilities get dug up. Most of the time, unless you are directly affected by the loss of your hydro/phone/water/cable service, you wouldn't know about it.

But if a gas line gets hit...like in Milton, Ontario a while back, the whole country will find out.

And if a Fiber Optic line gets cut, the repair can start at $1 million and go up. You cant just splice that stuff back together with black tape.

So, its the end of February, and your not planning on putting in that new fence in the back or planting that tree in the front until spring.

Call now.

I work in the industry and sometimes it takes weeks to get underground utilities located. The warmer it gets, the longer it takes. Even if you aren't ready when the locates are done, they will give you a sketch of your property showing where the stuff underground is. You can re mark it with paint, or with little flags you can get at most gardening stores.

If you are hiring a Contractor to do some digging, make sure they have had the locates completed. Ask to see copies of the sketches. If they don't have them, DON'T LET THEM DIG!

"I'm putting a play structure in the middle of my back yard, there's nothing there," you say. Are you sure?

Buddy at work had a problem a few weeks ago with his electricity. It runs underground to his house. The local Utility Company came out and determined there was a break in the wire feeding his meter, and they had to dig up line.

It was through the middle of his back yard!

This guy is a do-it-yourselfer. Thank goodness he didn't go rent a Bobcat to put in his own pool.

"I'm not digging that deep." I once cut a home phone line digging up a property stake.

So, before you go rent that post hole auger from Home Depot, look at the pictures below...








This is a sign that was already installed on a right of way last year when I came along to do some surveying. After the locates were done, I nearly pooped myself. The orange paint is for communication lines. The sign missed by less than a foot. The yellow is for gas. They missed by inches! The blue marks you see indicate the water service to the building. The sign is right on top of it! These guys were lucky!

By the way, utility locates for home owners are FREE!

The utility companies pay for them because its a lot cheaper than making repairs.

DJW

Go! Call Now! Dig Later!