Monday, December 28, 2009

Holding Pattern


As I write this, I have been on hold for 33 minutes and counting with the customer service department of a major corporation.

If I don't get a human being to help me by the time I'm done writing, I will reveal the name of the company. I will tell you that they are a major oil company.

I have endured now, 36 minutes of an endless Musak loop of Elton John's Daniel. I wasn't fond of the song before, I am even less enamored with it now.

Why is it that so called "Customer Service" lines aren't anymore? Most of them have you go through an acrobatic charade of "Press 1 to be ignored, 2 to be sent back to 1, 3 for another useless menu, 4 to repeat this menu and 5 to be inexplicably disconnected.

43 minutes now...I'm almost ready to kick a puppy. 'Daniel my brother, do you still feel the same?' No, dammit! I feel neglected!

I went through a similarly frustrating experience a few years ago with my former cell provider. I had overpaid my final bill, and lo and behold, wanted a refund. They said that because I had paid via web banking, I would have to go through the bank. Didn't sound right to me, but who am I?

48 minutes...find me a rope!

So I did the phone calisthenics with the bank, explaining what the cell people told me. I was right the first time, the cell people had to issue the refund. The bank isn't a collection agency.

It took another 6 phone calls. On the second to last call, I again explained my problem (to 3 people over 45 minutes), that I had overpaid my bill and wanted a refund. If they couldn't issue me a refund, could they at least apply it to my cable bill? "Your cable bill? Sir, you've been talking to the cellular division, let me transfer you." NOOOOOOOOO000000ooooooo....

55 minutes...Elton John is OFF my playlist forever!

One service line I contacted recently at least had the decency to tell me up front that it was a 45 minute wait on hold. That, at least gave me an option. I hung up and called back the first thing the next day, only a 20 minute declared wait, which was actually 5.

62 minutes...the other people in my house are forming a lynch mob and the dog is whining.

I have had other, similar experiences, as I'm sure most of you have. Feel free to vent and share with Uncle DJ, and be sure that I won't put you on hold.

66 minutes on hold...Sunoco has horrible Customer Service. If you can call it that. I give up, you can keep your damn 'Performance Points'. They sure don't perform on the phone!

DJW
There, I feel better now.

3 comments:

Jane said...

Sunoco hey? Well, they can watch YOUR red tail lights, heading for Spain....

sandy said...

Whose skull and bones are these ?

Arlene said...

OMG. I can't believe you were on hold for that long! Did you ever get helped??
About a month ago I got gas at a major gas station, and paid at the pump. They put a $150 hold on my debit card! Which in turn caused my account to over draw. The bank and gas station couldn't decide who was going to give me my money back, and after almost 10 phone calls and I don't even want to know how long on hold and explaining the same thing over and over, I finally got my money released and over draft fees returned. It was truly ridiculous!!
And don't even get me started on the time I tried to get someone that spoke English at Dell...