Boil Water! I have to shave my legs!

Below lies the chronology of an emergency situation in most houses, a minor blip in ours.

• 6:30 pm Wed-- While putting on my shoes on my way to a meeting, I notice water seeping (on the verge of running) from the utility/work/storage/I-don't-know-what-to-do-with-it-put-it-in-there room.
• 6:31 pm Wed-- Investigation reveals water gurgling out of the top of the water heater.
• 6:32 pm Wed-- Turn off water to heater
• 6:33 pm Wed-- I paid for extra super enhanced emergency priority service, I now need to find # to call.
  
• 6:34 pm Wed-- turn water back on long enough to get a sink full of water to do dishes.
• 6:35 pm Wed -- Found 1-800 number, called it, entered the required 14 digits to get to "Emergency and After Hours Service"
• 6:39 pm Wed -- get busy signal
• 6:39:01 pm Wed -- Swear
• 6:40 pm Wed -- Repeat phone sequence, relieved (and somewhat amazed) to get human voice.
  
• 6:40-6:45 pm Wed -- Explain my plight to pleasant female voice, so hired to calm upset customers. ( I wonder: do female callers get a Barry White sound alike?)
• 6:46 pm Wed -- I'm at the top of their emergency list, they will be here on the double, lights and sirens, between 8:00 am and noon Thursday. They'll have a new, bigger tank.
  
• 6:47 pm Wed -- Turn off gas and hook up garden hose to start to drain tank.
• 7:00 pm Wed -- Leave for meeting, leaving My Darling Bride behind to mop up.
• 7:01 pm Wed -- Duck as I go out door, dodging flying bucket.
• 7:02 pm Wed -- Call work to leave message that I won't be in tomorrow.
  
• 10:15 pm Wed--Return to find hose still in front yard, crime scene tape stretched across door to utility/work/storage/I-don't-know-what-to-do-with-it-put-it-in-there room.
• 10:16 pm Wed -- Thing One and Thing Two, my teenage daughters, bristle at the prospect of either cold showers or B.O. for Thursday. They are reminded that water can be heated on the stove, and that they can use wash cloths to wash up as far as possible, and down as far as possible, leave possible for later.
• 10:17 pm Wed -- After a warning, turn off water to whole house so I can remove tank, thereby expediting matters for Thursday.
• 10:18 pm Wed -- Turn water back on so tub and buckets can be filled. ( my family has lived with my plumbing expertise before)
  
• 11:00 pm Wed -- Tank removed, pipes capped, water back on and... no leaks!
• 7:30 am Thu -- After a glorious extra 2 1/2 hours of sleep, I awake to find my two teenage daughters, Thing One and Thing Two, prepping to be late for school, a big pot of water on the stove.
  
• 7:31 am Thu -- Thing One sprints from the bathroom, legs covered in shaving cream. Nice weather today, wants to wear a skirt. She takes the pot from the stove, and re-enters the bathroom. Before I can get there. The dog graciously offers to let me use her bathroom, I decline.
• 7:58 am Thu -- Thing One re-emerges from the bathroom with wet hair and shorn legs.
• 7:59 am Thu -- I get the bathroom!
• 8:05 am Thu -- Call from service people to say truck will be here in 15 minutes, driver will call when he's closer.
• 8:45 am Thu -- Driver is closer now, and calls.
• 8:55 am Thu -- Service Dude arrives, examines the dead body of a tank sitting in the middle of utility/work/storage/I-don't-know-what-to-do-with-it-put-it-in-there room.
• 8:56 am Thu -- Service Dude pronounces, and the Tank Coroner will be by shortly to remove the body. And bring new tank. A bigger, better tank. If it doesn't fit, they will go seek out a smaller, better tank.
• 9:30 am Thu -- Waiting
  
• 10:00 am Thu -- Waiting
• 10:30 am Thu -- Waiting
• 10:35 am Thu -- Two Service Dudes show up, remove the corpse and measure for a 60 gal tank.
  
• 10:38 am Thu -- After 3 'mike' calls, it is determined that the super colossal tank is too tall to fit in the utility/work/storage/I-don't-know-what-to-do-with-it-put-it-in-there room, and the biggest that they can squeeze in is a 50. A few more 'mike' calls and they postpone their 10:30 appointment to take care of my problem, as I already have done half the work, removing the old tank.
  
• 11:15 am Thu -- Big , shiny new tank is in place, hooked up and burning. Cost? No charge because I paid for extra super enhanced emergency priority service.
• 10:00 pm Thu (projected) -- Thing One and Thing Two will conduct extensive tests to see how long it takes to drain and recover all the water in big, shiny new tank.
  

Fortunately, we were awake and home when this happened. If it had happened 10 minutes later, we would have come home to a flooded house. If it had happened in the middle of the night, we would have awoke to find the dog floating on the couch.

Lessons to be learned here:

• Show your family members where critical service connections are and show them how to turn them off. If I hadn't been here, there could have been a disaster.

• If you have paid for extra super enhanced emergency priority service, put the phone and customer numbers close to the appliance. If you are the only one who knows who to call, your family will have difficulty in your absence. By the way, extra super enhanced emergency priority service costs me $5.60 a month.
  

• If you have appliances that may leak (including the fridge) above the lowest level of your house, the cost of installing a floor drain under or near them is likely a lot less than your insurance deductible, and a lot less headache when they leak, and they will.
  

• There are several devices available to sound alarms when water leaks occur, some can even cut off the water supply if necessary. Check your local home improvement store and compare the costs involved with installing one of these again to the cost of your insurance deductible, factoring in the heartache and hassle of submitting a claim.

DJW