Driving a Rolling Billboard? Be careful...

...and the Idiot Driver of the Day award goes to...(drum roll please)

..the Loader Operator from Riverside Landscaping and Contracting. (applause, applause)

Around 6:30 this morning, I'm driving down Hwy 5 in Flamborough, (for those of you who don't know the road, insert your local two lane former highway replaced by a four lane freeway here) and I'm doing ok at 80 KPH, it was a little slippery, but not too bad.

The car ahead suddenly brakes, and we slow down to 20-ish. I can see a long line of traffic and up on a hill far, far ahead is a blue flashing light.

"Cool, they are plowing early", I said out loud, to no one in the car.

As we plod along, I notice three things:

1. The road is not plowed and sanded
   
2. We are travelling awfully slow, even for following a plow
3. People are actually passing the plow.

"Idiots", I again say out loud, to still no one in the car.

As the number of vehicles between the 'plow' and I diminishes, I come to realize that the 'plow' is actually a front end loader, and is merely driving on the road from one job to another. The company name, "Riverside", plastered all over it

"Idiot", I say once again out loud, this time aimed at the Loader Operator.

By the time we get to where the road widens to four lanes, there were cars backed up for as far as the eye could see.

Time for my usual digression...

...way back when, in my early days in the Army, a Driving Instructor passed along this pearl of advice, which I took to heart and have passed along myself: "When you are driving a rolling billboard, you had best not drive like an idiot, because people will have an easier time complaining."

People who drive very distinguishable vehicles, with names and phone numbers all over them, and those with personalized license plates are more likely to have complaints lodged against them because, well, they are easier targets.

This became evident to me early on. I was delivering pizza's in a 1974 Javelin that was a work in progress. It was mostly green, with the front fenders being a different green than the rest of the car, a white roof, a yellow drivers door and a primered rear quarter. I was pulled over one night because the Police were looking for a car that 'fit that description'. I suspect it was the only car ever to 'fit that description' . I charmed my way out of that ticket.

I had a taxi with personalized plates, and that worked in my favour. If one of my drivers was up to something, I would get a call from the Dispatcher or from some of my Police buddies to let me know what they were up to.

I was driving down the 402 near Sarnia late one night/early one morning when I received a cell call from my dispatcher (M.D.B. by chance). It seems the Strathroy O.P.P. had clocked me @ 140 kph and were worried that something was wrong. Of course they got the phone number from the car and called our office.

I have used this the other way.

A few years ago I witnessed a maniac on the Q.E.W. who was driving a delivery van like it was a stolen Honda. I called the phone number that was plastered all over the side and back of it to complain. The manager I spoke to on the other end said, "Well, that's it for him, this is the last time. I have had a lot of complaint's about him."

So, if you lost you job because of a phone complaint a few years ago, that could have been me.

All the Idiot in the Loader had to do was pull over every now and then to let traffic pass. What he really should have done by law was float the machine by flatbed from one job to the next.

And if that Front End Loader Operator from Riverside Landscaping and Construction gets in trouble, he should have known he was driving a rolling billboard.

DJW