Yet Another Crazy Idea...

Ok, folks, if you were taking notes, a few months back when the crisis in the North American Auto Industry started to make headlines, and the CEO's went cap in hand looking for offerings from the tax base, I came up with a crazy idea...

...have the Oil Industry bail out the Auto Industry!

The last time us taxpayer's bailed out Chrysler, they turned around and gave us K Cars in return.

I can't wait to see what we will get this time.

But if you thought my plan to have Suncor invest in GM was a nutty idea, fasten your seat belts!

I propose a new bailout plan: if the unions are so gung ho about keeping their jobs, let them bail out the GM and Chrysler.

Think about it. Right now the auto workers are all worried about their future, so why not own their jobs?

Employees in a employee owned operation have a lot more invested in doing a quality job than just earning a paycheck, now don't they? Everyone involved will be keeping a closer eye on quality and be looking for efficiencies. Profit sharing would be a great incentive. Actually breaking even would be a great incentive.

Gee, do ya think there may be a reason that Toyota Woodstock is working overtime, while GM just wiped out Pontiac with a stroke of a pen? (Source: Toronto Star)

Unions are big business, and the CAW is the biggest private sector union in Canada.

Do ya think Buzz Hargrove will donate his pension and proceeds from his speaking engagements and Ken Lewenza will contribute his over $150,000 salary and bonus (Source: Toronto Star) to the food banks for these poor folks.

Funny thing when you work in a union shop; you don't get a choice of whether or not you join and pay them for the privilege of working.

Or not working.

DJW

DJ thinks that the Union Bosses aren't too worried about making their mortgage payments.

I Must Be Defective...

...at least this was the consensus of a discussion I had this week with a friend as I drove her to the GO Station.

Why, you ask, am I not quite right? (besides the obvious, and stop the snickering in the back.)

Well, lets go down the list, shall we:

• My Parents smacked me when I deserved it, yet I didn't grow up to be a child beater.
• My Mother never breast fed me, yet I am in not in therapy because of it.
• I grew up with handguns and rifles in the house, yet I never took one to school and shot up the place.
• I have had a jack knife in my pocket since I was eight, yet I've never stabbed anyone.
• My parents drank on the weekends, yet I didn't grow up to be an alcoholic.
• My parents never bought me a car, or drove me everywhere, yet I still managed to get around.
• I tobogganed, biked and rode my soapbox without a helmet, yet I am undamaged.
• I have a bad back that took one Doctor two pages to describe, a pinched nerve in my neck, ingrown toenails and halitosis, yet I am not on a disability pension.
• I have never sued anyone for my troubles
  
• I messed up at work the other week, and instead of blaming someone or some computer, I fixed it.

What the heck is wrong with me?

If I figure it out, I'll let you know.

DJW

DJ is worried that he might be abnormally normal.

Have You Hugged Your Emergency Service Communicator Today?

This is National Communicators Week, a week set aside to honour a profession more commonly known as 911 Operator. These are the first-first responders to almost all emergencies. These folks make sense out of mayhem, calm the victims and witnesses, and try to keep order in what is usually a chaotic situation.

They are the calm voice you get when you are having a crisis, and they are the ones who get you the help you need.

This is a predominately female occupation, and I know why.

About 17 years ago next month, My Darling Bride and I were enjoying a fairly quiet Saturday evening as we did then, she was dispatching taxi's and I was driving one. She was very pregnant with soon to be Thing 2, and I was returning from an out of town trip.

The fairly quiet radio chatter was broken with this matter - of - fact message from M.D.B. "Attention all cars! Car 24 has just been stolen from downtown! If you see car 24, let me know. Otherwise, don't call me, I'm on the phone with the Police."

This call for radio quiet of course, brought the the radio to life. Drivers wanting to know how, or where. A few cars reported spotting the missing car, but had passengers and couldn't follow. Of course, you can guess what happens next...who spots the stolen car and gives chase?

Moi.

I see a taxi coming towards me very quickly at the edge of the city and sure enough, its Car 24. I spin that old wagon around and tromp on the gas. I report to M.D.B. that I am following and where I am, and she relays this to the Police Dispatcher on the other end of her phone. I report everything regarding our speed, location and direction of travel, and I get her calm voice at the other end calling me "Roger" (radio joke)

At one point we are all stopped at a light, and out from what appears to be a second involved car steps a guy with a baseball bat. The stolen cab reverses, and would have rammed me if I hadn't done the same.

All this gets relayed to M.D.B. and the Police.

After a bit of a chase in the country, the thief bails, we get the car back, and it turns out Bat Boy was on our side. The police arrest the ne'er do well a short time later, at the same coffee shop he stole the car from.

The next day, M.D.B. stops for a coffee on her way to work, and runs into one of the Officers involved the night before, a friend of ours. He says to her, "Weren't you dispatching the stolen cab last night?"

"Yes," she replied.

"Wasn't your husband driving the cab chasing?"

"Yes," she replied.

"And you're still pregnant? You should work for us!"

And that, is how M.D.B. was inspired to be an Emergency Services Communicator.

The rest, they say, is legend.

DJW

This is not a picture of My Darling Bride at work.

The Easter Bunny Wouldn't Short Change Us, Would He?

We were all up early on this sunny Easter Saturday, anticipating a delivery from a very special visitor.

Nope, not the Easter Bunny.

We were waiting with great anticipation for...

...the Roof Delivery Dude!

Thing One and Two were rousted earlier than they wanted to be on a Saturday, and put to work.

The driveway was cleared, and a pathway in the yard was made to move the panels in. We knew would have to move them in by hand as some of them would be 25 feet long.

My Darling Bride called out to us that the truck was on the way, and we scrambled out to the sidewalk, giggling with glee. Well, one of us anyway, the other two had to be dragged kicking and screaming.

The truck showed up right on time. It was loaded with many items, with our new steel roof right on top. It was equipped with one of those piggy-backed forklifts, very useful for unloading, but would prove to be difficult to navigate with a 25' wide skid. Doug, the Delivery Dude was very adept, landed the roof on the sidewalk in the first attempt. The plywood was deposited as far up the driveway as he could get, and the smaller bits were left on the front porch.

Then the work began.

The bands were cut and first the plywood was hauled back and stacked. Then the fun part, the long panels. With Thing 2 leading, Thing 1 and I followed (like we had a choice).

We managed to get it all in the yard with no bent panels, no cuts and only one lost shoe.

When we moved the shorter 12' panels, I noticed something odd, we had 8 25' panels, and only 4 12' pieces. Another check with a tape measure revealed that the panels were only 36" wide, not 41" as ordered and paid for.

So, not only do I not have roofing for the front part of the house, the roofing I have for the rear is too narrow by a foot and a half !

Now, a word or two about steel roofing.

You don't just go to the lumber yard and pick it out, it has to be ordered. And there really is only one supplier, Vic West, and they won't reveal their prices to anyone but the retailers. So you make your drawing, the local guy sends it to Vic West, and then and only then do you get an idea of cost. Vic West tells you what you will need, right down to how many screws and filler pieces to do the job.

Its like trying to buy groceries on a budget without knowing the prices.

So, after jumping through all the hoops to get a grip on prices, and then placing the order and paying for the material 3 weeks ago, and having Vic West telling me that my ridge vent option wouldn't work, and having to re-order the ridge pieces, and getting a false alarm from the supplier about the delivery a week earlier than planned (was someone else's), and then Vic West shipping the wrong colour the first time, and, and, and...

You can imagine our disappointment that what we ordered wasn't what showed up. The guy that handles this at my local Lowes is off today, so I can't get answers till Monday. Thus far, Mike at Lowes in Brantford has been great to deal with, lets see if he can keep us happy.

I am placing this problem squarely on the folks at Vic West, they had the drawings and the specs. They tell you what you need and you are at their mercy.

Good thing I hadn't stripped off the old roof yet.

DJW

Does anyone have a metal stretcher I can borrow?

My Near Death Experience.

As I spend a great deal of my day on the side of the street or road, I get to meet many people.

I'm currently working near Milton, Ontario and I had a first time experience (for me, anyway) today.

Today I was face to face with Mr. Death.

Yes, I stared Mr. Death in the face, and it didn't scare me.

Mr. Death walked right up to me, and we had a pleasant chat.

He told me the corner near there was a death trap.

I told him I was there to help.

I was honest with him, so... (wait for it)... I didn't cheat Mr. Death.

As proof of my near death experience, I took a picture of Mr. Death's mailbox.


Even Mr. Death gets junkmail.

DJW

For more interesting real names, check out the Celebrated Names page on Randy Bachman's website.