Frank Zappa fans know who L. Ron Hoover and the Church of Appliantology are.
The rest of you, don't worry about it.
What this is really about is appliances, and the brats they can be. (right up there with cars, dogs and offspring)
You've all read the saga of our water heater. Some may argue that it is a fixture, not an appliance. Po-TAY-toes, po-TAH-toes
Like most couples, when we started out, a new appliance was one that was new to us.
Our first washer /dryer combo was an Inglis Liberator set the same age as My Darling Bride. The Westinghouse upright freezer was from the 50's and we only got it because the previous tenants couldn't afford the crane to move it. These units worked like a charm right up to the day we replaced them with brand, shiny new toys.
We went through a series of $75 fridges and stoves (Almond or Harvest Green, usually)
Our toaster oven is a monster, big enough to rotisserie a whole duck or 2 chickens, and I bought that at a yard sale in 1989. The dishwasher was a hand me down from an in-law, a portable that we made a built in.
Our first brand new appliance was a microwave oven, given as a wedding present.
BBQ's are indeed an appliance, (a necessity if you have a Y chromosome), but ours were all hand-me-downs as our friends and family got new ones.
Now, a sidebar. We are bad savers. The only way we get ahead is by forced savings via payroll, and we end up with a nice tax refund every spring.
After more than 10 years of using the tax refunds to catch up on bills and complete renovations, we started an appliance replacement program in 2002. The ancient washer/dryer was first to go, and brand new full size stacking front loading automatic washer and dryer took over the job of 2 loads a day.
What a miracle! It took less than a day now to do laundry!
An added bonus: our water and electricity bills dropped immediately.
At the same time, the 11 year old microwave that kept blowing fuses was replaced with a bold, black and stainless 1.2 cu ft 1200 watt bad boy.
The following year, it was the Big 3: fridge, freezer and stove.
Black. All black. Black hole black. Sucks-the-light-out-of-the-streetlights-black.
Black doors, black bodies, black handles black knobs, black glass top, black range hood.
You get the idea.
Last spring, in a vestige of male-ness, I replaced the tiny almost Hibachi sized BBQ with a ginormous stainless steel, cast iron grill, 2 gazillion BTU BBQ. It even has hubcaps! I could use it as a back up forge if needed.
All top name brands, top of the line and with warranties.
We shouldn't have to worry about them for as many years as the old ones, right?
Not long after the water heater adventure, the microwave popped whilst popping popcorn.
6 years old. Just a baby.
In a busy house like ours, it is a necessity, so we trundled off to Wally-mart, as we were also low on cash. It was smaller than we had, but a brand name (rhymes with Royal Canadian Artillery), and had a two year warranty.
Around the same time, water started leaking out of the bottom of the fridge. I first suspected the door seal, which did not pass the paper test for tightness, and I replaced it.
Just over 5 years and 2 months old.
$65 for parts. Turns out the overflow tube was also blocked. I cleaned that out myself.
Later that same week...
...while a pot roast was cooking, the oven started making a morse code of beeping noises and quit. Not only did it quit, but the door lock came on and our dinner was trapped!
Our oven ate our dinner!
We managed to free it from the beast after cutting and restoring the power, but it was a close call. The error code it was flashing on its digital display indicated 2 possibilities. The least expensive of which was $200 for parts.
Again, just over 5 years and 2 months old.
Two weeks ago, the microwave again. THREE FRIKKEN MONTHS OLD!
Last week, the handle broke off my BBQ.
Sigh.
Why can't we build appliances to last 40+ years anymore?
I know.
If they lasted that long, you won't have to buy them as frequently. Kind of a job security program I guess.
Except that I won't replace the offending units with the same brand.
BTW, the $15 mammoth toaster oven still works fine.
...and it looks just like a Telefunken U47!
DJW
4 comments:
Ok. So did anyone besides his Darling Bride notice that the washer/dryer were ANCIENT when replaced???Wonder how my Darling Husband feels about sleeping on the nineteen year old couch?
How many brides would want their husbands to sleep on a 19 year old?
By the way, the stand up freezer from the fifties still works just fine, too! we do, however, go through at least one microwave/year.
I didn't want to know that.
Along the same vein, my Sister replaced her car this spring with an identical model, only many years newer. I have her old one, and I have had less problems than her.
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