Grief is a Journey

A year ago today my life and lives of my family changed forever.

Ma, Nan, Great-Nan, Sister, Auntie M.

Gone.

A constant in all our lives was no more.

Replaced by a new constant.

We have all heard of the seven stages of grief, and we all know we will go through them. Usually in some degree by the time we are 10. A pet, a grandparent, a friend of the family. An unfortunate part of growing up and learning about life is learning about about death.

The Seven Stages are:

1. Shock & Denial
2. Pain & Guilt
3. Anger & Bargaining
4. Depression, Reflection & Loneliness
   
5. The Upward Turn
6. Reconstruction & Working Through
7. Acceptance & Hope (source recover-from-grief.com but they are all pretty much the same)
   

There. Just like that. In that order. Like assembly instructions for a bar-b-cue.

Well, either I'm doing it wrong or the instructions are wrong.

I've already completed up to Steps 4a, 6a & b, and Step 7a. My Step 5 is missing and Step 7b doesn't apply.

I'm still working on Step 4b & c.

Today normally I would be visiting Pa and giving him a funny card, some scratch lottery tickets (Cash for Life to spite Ma) and crosswords. Ma would be fussing over us and getting us drinks and cookies and trying to slip cash in our pockets when we weren't looking. I would be telling him about all the features of my first ever brand new lawnmower, a gift from M.D.B. and all The Thing's. Later Ma would call at suppertime (whenever that was, I never knew how she did that) to tell us how much they enjoyed the visit.

My point? (omg he has a point!)

There is no instruction manual for life. Or death. Or grieving.

Tab A doesn't always fit in Slot B. Sometimes there isn't even a Slot to fill.

Like parenting, it's all on the job training.

Other duties as assigned.

DJW

Happy Fathers Day, Pa. We miss you and Ma.

Everyday.

...Little Pink Houses, For You And Me...

When last we left David and Anna, they were sitting there with a handful of past due and disconnect notices, worried about how they were going to pay the mortgage. They had a plan, but the banks and mortgage companies shrugged them off as too small time. (click the link above to read their story)

The wolf wasn't at the door; it had puppies on the porch.

It turns out more people read my blog than I figured.

I was contacted by a Mortgage Broker (whose name was also David) who thought he might be able to help. I told him they had been that route, but he insisted he wanted to give it a shot.

So introductions were made, and my work here was done. Other than pay their bills myself, I did all I could do.

Last week I received this e-mail from Anna,

Dear DJ,

Thank you, thank you, thank you for getting us in touch with David at OMAC Mortgages. Not only did he find us a lender that would take us on with all our difficulties, they also absorbed our consumer proposal! And he got us a better rate than we could have hoped for! I couldn't believe all the calls and arrangements he made. He really jumped through all the hoops for us! Our bills are all paid, the mortgage is easy to manage, and Dave feels so much better! Its like we have a new life! Last week we had our last meeting with the Credit Counseling people and we will soon be fully discharged.

Thanks again!

Anna

Well who knew that my little blog could actually make a difference.

So I must give credit where credit is due (no pun intended). The Mortgage Broker with the Superhero Cape is David at OMAC Brantford (click for link)

What lessons can we take away here?

There is always a solution, it may not be very palatable or easy.

If you can't make someone see your vision, find someone who can.

Pride is good, but can't pay the bills.

DJW

For more info on consumer proposals and credit counseling, drop me a line.

Doing the Breakdown Breakdance

One more icon of the past has fallen in Our Humble Castle.

Frigidaire.

Many of us in our middle age can remember our mother cooking on the same stove, washing our clothes with the same washer and the same shiny toaster sat on the counter for our entire lives it seemed.

The names were pre-war and they were built like the war machines that came from those same factories during the war.

Kelvinator, Admiral, Viking, General Electric and Frigidaire. All names synonymous with heavy duty reliability.

Not any more.

Like the fall of the Big Three auto manufacturers to Japanese quality, appliances I feel have gone the same way.

I've already told the tale of woe around our Frigidaire Range. The stove saga left a bad taste in my mouth for that brand.

Several months ago the bearing in our 7 year old Frigidaire Gallery front loading washer started to make noise. Being the handy guy I am, I squeezed into the closet it was in and removed the back to get at the complainer.

I couldn't believe what I found.

Sure enough, there was the bearing, and yup, it was stiff. But there was no way to remove it. It was moulded into the one piece drum assembly. A search of appliance repair sites on the net confirmed this reality. It also told me the replacement part was in the $200 range. Plus tax. And shipping.

A bearing of that size and type would have set me back $15 or so at my local T.S.C. Store.

So Frigidaire's little design feature led to 3 options:

1. costly replacement part
2. costly repair bill
3. costly replacement of the entire unit.

I chose option 3.

But not Frigidaire. Never again.

I don't think my Parents would ever have considered buying a Samsung appliance.

Times change.

Brands change.

Frigidaire did.

For the worse.

DJW

Have you been disappointed by a major appliance purchase?
Share with the class here.

Do Not Adjust Your Set...

I've been on a hiatus of sorts.

More of a mental vacation.

It has been said that life is what happens to you while you are making other plans. I guess I've been making a lot of plans.

Some items for you to look forward to (or shy away from) :

• Another episode of "Appliances Behaving Badly"
• Grieving is a journey, not a process
• More news on David and Anna (this time good things!)
• How to disarm a disgruntled customer
• A pet cleaning idea I wish I had

In the mean time, you can review some old favorites like Boil Water! I have to shave my legs! ;
Things that keep me awake, part one and part two and the popular When I am King.

To check on what I read, check out Lorraine Sommerfeld or Tanis, The Redneck Mommy.

And now, a breaking story...

...Micheal Jackson is still dead!

...please stay tuned.

DJW

DJ's horizontal hold needs a little tweak I think.

Most tasteless dead celebrity joke: Gary Coleman died of a different stroke!