And Happy Thoughts For All...

Right about now you are either welcoming the New Year, reveling in the fresh start and new opportunities; or you are regretting the amount of reveling you did to bring it in.

Whichever column you fall under, take a minute today to count your blessings. However few you think they are, or however small you think they may be, count them anyway.

If you have more blessings than your neighbour, then share.

Didn't your Mom tell you to share?

Someone who needs more blessings is Caitlin.

For those of you unfamiliar with Caitlin's story, last Christmas the then four-year-old missed out while battling a rare childhood cancer. If you want to get up to speed, the links are here, here and here.

The good news is that she beat the Nephroblastoma, and that was against the odds.

The bad news is that late this fall Doctors found four more spots.

The part that really sucks is that this is two years in a row that she has missed out on much of the fun that four and five year old's should be having during this season.

Her spirit is strong, but at only five years old and less than thirty pounds, her body is weak. The good people at Sick Kids are doing everything they can.

About all we can do is think happy thoughts for her.

And hug each other a little stronger, a little longer.

Dunno if it will help, but it certainly can't hurt.

Happy New Year and Happy Thoughts to All!

DJW

Things that keep me awake... part deux

More things that keep me awake, listening to the squirrels rollerblading in the attic:

• How do boneless, skinless chickens walk?

• And when the above fowl are walking about, who wants to look at them? (skinless, eeew)

• Have you ever seen a buffalo with wings?

• If you are sleeping when you cross the international date line, do you wake up before you went to bed? And are you still tired?

• Isn't jumbo shrimp an oxymoron?

• If you are scared half to death twice, is it fatal? Or is it incremental?

• Why do they say you have your pet fixed when you are in reality breaking them?

• How do ducks warn their friends to look out?

• Why do blondes dye their hair blonde? (thats for M.D.B & Thing 2)

• Why are tires only flat on the bottom?

• What do they call it when you poke a goose in the butt?
  

• Why does my sister have three brothers and I only have two? (Actually its a trade off, because I have two sisters and she only has one, so I guess we're even.)
  

• How can stores sell 300 gram pound cakes? (think about it...for my American friends, there are 454 grams to a pound)
  

• Why do loaves of bread have an odd number of slices?

• If the CBC is aimed specifically for Canadians, why don't we watch it?

• If your spouses parents are your in-laws, and you get a divorce, are they now your out-laws?

• Why don't sheep shrink on a warm rainy day?
  

• Why are all snooze buttons only nine minutes?

• What if there were no hypothetical questions?
  

Keep em coming folks, either we will all be up together, or we will solve all the world's problems.

Happy New Year. (When we get a new year, does the old year go to a used year lot?)

DJW

Merry Christmas to all...

This season, please the take time to remember those that will be missing from the dinner table, and the families that are missing them.

Best of everything to you and yours.

DJW, My Darling Bride, Thing 1 and Thing 2

A Fascinating Storm?

Below is the text of the official Environment Canada weather bulletin for our current storm.

Note the highlighted areas. (My comments are in brackets)

I think that all news reports should be written with this kind of style.

DJW

Warnings

City of Hamilton
5:04 AM EST Friday 19 December 2008
Winter storm warning for
City of Hamilton continued

Major winter storm with heavy snow and blowing snow today.

This is a warning that dangerous winter weather conditions are imminent or occurring in these regions. Monitor weather conditions..Listen for updated statements.

With the first 10 cm snowfall now fading into memory (ahh the memories)..The second in a fascinating series of significant snowstorms (a fascinating storm? This guy needs a hobby) is bearing down on southern Ontario from Colorado. The Colorado low has formed as expected is racing (isn’t racing illegal in Ont? Arrest the storm!) northeast to central Ohio later today then into Pennsylvania tonight. A rapidly expanding and intensifying area of snow over the US midwest into Michigan has just moved into Windsor early this morning and will cruise northeast into the Golden Horseshoe between 7 and 8 AM then east down Highway 401 (I had always suspected the weather took the fast route, but why not the 407?) into eastern Ontario all the way to Kingston by this afternoon.

The snow will become quite heavy at times as the low gets closer. Latest indications keep any risk of a changeover to ice pellets or freezing rain in Essex and Kent counties from Windsor to Chatham and south to Lake Erie. Otherwise only snow is expected for everyone else. Snowfall rates of 2 to 4 cm per hour are expected at times as the heaviest areas of snow move through.

A general snowfall of 15 to 20 centimetres is likely across the district by this evening. Areas around the west end of Lake Ontario from downtown Toronto through Mississauga to Hamilton and eventually Niagara will get some help in the cold northeasterly winds off of Lake Ontario boosting snowfall amounts to near 25 cm in quite a few locales. It is not entirely out of the question for one or two locales to get up to 30 cm should an embedded lake effect snowsquall develop over Lake Ontario today as suggested by some of the computer models.

Whiteout conditions from blowing snow caused by strong east to northeast winds of 40 gusting to 60 km/h will be a significant problem with this winter storm adding to its nasty white bite. (and all those people who use those little strips to make their bite whiter are jealous)

This mornings rush hour in and around the Golden Horseshoe may start out with no snow but conditions will start to deteriorate rapidly as the snow moves in after 7 AM. However..Heavy snow and blowing snow throughout the day will likely make the afternoon commute particularly difficult and slow.

Travelers should adjust travel plans accordingly. If travel is necessary one should plan for much extra time to reach the planned destination. Driving conditions will deteriorate quickly and become dangerous due to whiteout conditions from both blowing snow and heavy snow.

DJ here…this is definitely more interesting than Storm, Snow, Lots of it.

Happy Shoveling!

Our Apologies

Our most sincere apologies go out to the shoppers of Burlington's Walmart today.

We are very sorry that we had to close one of the four exits today while we hydro-excavated a five meter deep hole to locate some utilities.

Yes, you guessed correctly, we did this to specifically inconvenience you personally.

It was our evil plan all along to make you late returning from shopping on your lunch hour.

You caught us, and we are indeed red faced.

It was also part of the plan to thwart those of you who use that parking lot as your own personal shortcut around that very, very busy intersection.

How could we?

Yes, you were right, it would have been much better if we let you, and only you (because you're special to us) around the 10 tonne truck.

We realize it would have been much more convenient and less time consuming if we let you have a head on collision or drive your shiny BMW into our hole.

Again, we are truly sorry.

What were we thinking?

Also,

Let me take this opportunity to apologize in advance to those of you that hold a 'No Left Turn Exemption Permit'. We know that the signs and specially designed islands weren't meant for you.

Early next spring, there will be barriers erected preventing you from making illegal (not for you, you have an exemption) left turns into or out of Timmy's on Burloak Drive. You will have to suffer the indignity of driving an extra 300 meters to enter and exit on Mainway like the rest of us unprivileged people.

We are truly sorry for your impending troubles.

If you haven't renewed your No Left Turn Exemption Permit, don't.

If you have, please return to place of purchase for a full refund.

I know, we are idiots.

Or so we've heard.

Many times.

DJW

Things that keep me awake.

Things to think about while sitting in traffic, waiting in the Doctors office or pretending to listen to your spouse...

• Shouldn't there have been only one seedless watermelon? or grape?

• Why is it called toe jam instead of jelly? How about toe marmalade?

• Is the universe really infinite, or have they just not found the end of it yet?

• If the belly button is so good at trapping lint, why not install them on clothes dryers?

• Why is called lemon-lime instead of limey-lemon?

• If you are moving at twice the speed of sound, and you say something, how long until you hear yourself?
  

• Or...given the above scenario, do you hear yourself before you speak?
  

• Why do renderings of Adam and Eve have navels?

• How does a mime call for help?

• Is there a home for battered fish?

• If cats always land on their feet, and buttered toast lands butter side down, what happens if you put butter on a cats back and drop it?

• If you read the dictionary cover to cover, does that mean you've read all the books in the world as well?

• Is there another word for thesaurus?

• What is the synonym of synonym?

• If you threw a unlimited amount of time in a bottomless pit, which would run out first?

• Shouldn't a small cake made of cooked ground beef be called a cow patty?
  

• Three out of four people make up three quarters of the world.

If any of this causes you to lose sleep, I can recommend the Parliamentary Channel.

DJW

If you have more of these, I will add them to my collection, and give you absolutely no credit.

Just a thought...

Here is an idea so crazy it just might work.

Question: What industry has the highest profits?

I think we can safely answer with the oil industry. They routinely report billions upon billions of dollars of profit every year.

Question: Who would suffer if the Big 3 North American auto makers failed, and we were all forced to drive more fuel efficient imports?

Answer: The oil industry again.

So, would it not make sense for the Big 3 to go to Big Oil for a bail out, and not be in Big Oil's best interest to keep us in gas guzzlers?

Just a thought...

...No tax dollars were harmed in the making of this blog.

DJW

FOOTNOTE: I heard a reliable source today (Charles Adler) state that while General Motors and Toyota both had similar U.S. sales volumes (9,000,000 units) in 2007, G.M. lost billions while Toyota made billions.

Makes ya go hmmm

Double Dippers

This is not about rude party guests who stick their chip into the guacamole twice, and the subsequent flogging they should receive.

What this is about is people who retire on Friday, get the gold watch and big send off, and are back at work on Monday, doing the same job.

And the subsequent flogging they should receive.

The Toronto Star published an article in June covering the plight of new and substitute teachers getting a foothold in the world of DD's. They also contend, however erroneously, that theirs is the only profession in which this occurs.

My Darling Bride and I both work in the public sector where this practice is commonplace, if not rampant.

One of the few 'perks' of working for a government is that the pension plans generally have a 'magic number' of combined age and years of service to strive for. After you have reached your magic number, you may retire with full pension and benefits.

In my case, my magic number is unreachable, as I got on board too late. I will have to work until 2 years after I am dead to reach it. I currently work with two people that are retired from our department and working 'on contract' or as 'consultants' or more commonly, double dipping. Don't get me wrong, I like these guys and I value their years of experience, but they are taking slots that could be filled with other staff, and allow people to move up or realize other career goals.

M.D.B.'s magic number is also unreachable as she is part time. Has been for eight years. There are DD's (double dippers) on her job that are filling spots part time. To my mind, two part time jobs equals one full time job.

Now, you might say that the DD has specific skills that are hard to replace. I say that twelve pages did not suddenly fall off the calendar. They could have trained their replacement long before they retired. They are also preventing staff with less experience from moving up.

From an employers perspective, it is good value. They generally pay these staff at a lower rate, and do not have to contribute to their benefit fund. From a DD's point of view, lets look at the numbers. Let's say that their hourly wage before retirement was $30/hr, and their pension is 66% or $20/hr. If they make more than $10/hr they are making more than when they were working, doing the same job, for the same employer.

In my opinion, if you want to stay working, then defer your retirement. Or retire and find something else to do.

My Brother-in-law did it right. He achieved his 'magic number' in his late 40's, took his retirement package, then got a paper route. He still had a reason to get up in the morning, and made extra income. I worked in the taxi industry with many retired persons supplementing their income by driving a few hours a day. There are plenty of opportunities for Retired Persons for part time work or even a second career.

Double dipping, be it chips or work, is just plain greedy.

DJW

Chronic Pain

A chronic pain is what some would call me but that is not what this is about. This about treatments and strategies for dealing with ongoing chronic pain. I am not a medical professional, a Pharmacist or Physiotherapist; I am a chronic pain sufferer who has developed strategies for coping.

In fact, I have suffered from chronic pain for twenty odd years now. It started when I was a welder in a school bus factory while in my twenties. The repetitive heavy lifting and deep bending took its toll, and eventually the pain stopped going away. On my last day there I had taken eight Tylenol 2's before noon and was still in enough pain to be distracted.

I won't go into the diagnosis but it took one Doctor two pages to describe. I was on a steady diet of codeine, anti-inflammatories and stomach medications (to combat the side effects of the AI's).

I was taking over $300 a month of prescriptions, and it wasn't working well, in fact it was hurting me. One Doctor ordered blood tests before treating me, and then refused to help me until I got treatment for alcoholism. This was a surprise, as I was a social drinker, but by no means a problem drinker. I couldn't afford booze and medications at the same time.

This is when a light went on. I was in pain, the drugs weren't helping, my stomach and liver were being wiped out, and I couldn't concentrate or remember the simplest of lists.

I had to do something.

I started reading.

Turns out Codeine has the same effect on your liver as alcohol. Hence the false blood tests indicating alcohol abuse. The part of the liver that is attacked is the part that processes vitamin B12, which in turn fuels short term memory. Which is why chronic alcoholics can't remember the night before, and why I couldn't remember a 4 item grocery list from My Darling Bride. This part of the liver also doesn't regenerate, so I now must take B12 supplements for the rest of my life.

So then I had to find something to replace the Tylenol. Something that wouldn't screw me up worse than I was. Anything OTC was ineffective. Anything prescribed was expensive and included anti-inflammatories, which were hard on my stomach.

Pot was illegal.

Then I found natural remedies. This was many years ago, before you could get St. John's Wort at Shopper's or Shark Cartilage at Zehrs.

After much research, I came across combination of compounds that actually worked.

Methylsulfonylmethane (MSM) is a natural sulfur compound. It has anti-inflammatory properties and is also a muscle elasticizer. I also believe that MSM cleared up the Tinea Versicolor that had affected me since I was a lad. What most data won't tell you, and what I stumbled on through discussion and more research, is that you need equal doses of vitamin C to metabolize MSM if you have liver damage.

Chondroitin and glucosamine are usually sold and used in conjunction and are often combined in one capsule.

Chondroitin is a critical component of cartilage, and normally breaks down with age. It is the part of cartilage that help it resist compression. (hence, creaky grinding joints). Those who over work thier joints will suffer cartlige breakdown sooner than others.

Glucosamine is another part of cartilage make up, and acts as a lubricant of the joints.

Celadrin is newer to the scene, and promises to have all the effects of the other three combined. It is available in a capsule and as a topical cream.

What I must stress is the following:

• None of this works like taking asprin for a headache. You must take them regularly, in large enough doses, and wait 4-6 weeks before you feel any noticable gains.
• This will NOT make you completely pain free. For me it makes the pain manageble so I can get on with my day.

I have been using this treatment for over fifteen years now and I am happy to report that I can move pretty well on most days, I can think pretty clearly, and my stomach is intact.

As with any kind of treatment, consult your Doctor, do some resarch, and give it time.

DJW

Another un-needed law?

Common sense apparently does not exist in Ontario.

Ontario has taken steps to enact a law banning the use of cell phones and other electronic devices while behind the wheel.

Now, you might think I would be in favour of a law making our highways safer.

I am.

But this isn't the right law.

Police services would now have a new nuisance call, Cell Call In Progress. (It would be ranked with Stupidity in Progress)

This law would affect many people. Many service trucks have mobile display terminals (MDT's), as do taxi's, Trucker's have two way radios and C.B.'s

Ambulances come with both radio's and MDT's, with a patient in the back the driver must break the law to operate either.

Every Police Officer has three devices: radio, MDT and cell phone. In order to enforce the law they must break it.

The argument for them is that they have special training in the safe use of these devices. Whose to say that a regular driver can't have special training? Truckers have to take a course to achieve a 'Z' endorsement for air brakes.

I had an argument several years ago with a Driver Trainer on an advanced course I was on. His argument was to ban all cell usage while driving. My argument was that my hands free cell phone was the same as having a conversation with someone sitting beside me. A little later he was telling us of a trucker he saw tailgating a small car, and how he called him on the CB to point out the error of his ways. I raised my hand and asked him, "Did you pull over and stop so you could safely operate the radio?" He went silent for a moment and then replied" It's not the same."

He was cornering the wrong guy.

I spent eight years in the Army, one of my qualifications being Driver Instructor, and eight years driving taxi. My radio was both my income and my lifeline.

My reply to him, "A radio requires you to take your hand off the wheel to hold the microphone, my hands free cell lets me keep both hands on the wheel."

He changed the subject.

I am all in favour of making our roads safer...I once slapped the windshield of a cell phone distracted driver with a stop paddle. (sidebar...the Traffic Safety Course now states thou shalt not slap the windshield of a cell phone distracted driver with a stop paddle)

I'm not endorsing cell calls on handsets or texting while driving I'm just saying this isn't the right law.

The right law already exists.

It's called Careless Driving and it reads:

Careless driving

130. Every person is guilty of the offence of driving carelessly who drives a vehicle or street car on a highway without due care and attention or without reasonable consideration for other persons using the highway and on conviction is liable to a fine of not less than $200 and not more than $1,000 or to imprisonment for a term of not more than six months, or to both, and in addition his or her licence or permit may be suspended for a period of not more than two years. R.S.O. 1990, c. H.8, s. 130.

(Source: E-LAWS)

Next week, in a continuing effort to protect us from ourselves, the Government plans to introduce a bill banning running with scissors.

DJW

It's TV time again

Ok, call me weird. (I know, that's a given)

I'm excited that one of my favorite TV shows is getting ready for it's season premier.

No, it's not Monday Night Football, or Hockey Night in Canada.

Are you ready for this?

It's Canada's Worst Driver 4!

For those who are uninitiated, each year, 8 bad drivers from across Canada are nominated to 'compete' for the title of the worst driver in the country. They are all brought to a secret location, given expert driving instruction, and then put through a series of driving skills tests. The most improved driver every episode gets their license returned to them and sent back out on the road. They are critiqued by a series of experts including my favorite, now retired OPP Sgt Cam Woolley.

If you've never seen it, give it a view and see if you recognize any habits, or anyone you may know.
It has a brother show called Canada's Worst Handyman, hosted by the same sarcastic guy, Andrew Younghusband.

I'm happy to say I've never been nominated for either show.

Interesting coincidence; CWD4 dovetails with the end of the NASCAR season, and wraps up near Daytona time in February.

I can watch for bended metal all year round now.

DJW

Election Results

Stephen Harper has won another minority.

Being the only male in a house with three women, I know how he feels.

Sometimes I think I'm in charge too.

DJW

The Inn at Christie's Mill

My Darling Bride and I had the pleasure to stay at a Muskoka Resort this weekend. Made even more of a pleasure as it was all paid for, by someone else!

The Inn at Christie's Mill is a luxury resort spa, plunked right on the waters edge at Port Severn, Ontario, the gateway to the Muskoka's and the Trent-Severn Waterway.

Now, my experiences with resort/spas has been limited to a conference center in Mississauga annually for work related events, but this was different.

The view from the room this time did not include the 401 or office towers and the approach lights for Pearson.

This was far different.

Our view overlooking the harbour would only have been more perfect if it hadn't been cloudy.

The room itself was as big as our living/dining room combined. It's only lacking was a side table to put beside the chairs while watching the fireplace.

The bed was best described as oversized. It seemed bigger than our king bed at home, perhaps because you needed a stool to get in it. It was quite comfy, even if we were sleeping in different postal codes.

The bathroom was bigger than my first apartment, complete with his and hers sinks, a tricked out water closet and a Jacuzzi tub with a heat lamp. The bath fixtures were Kohler, complete with a fully height adjustable shower massage with three settings: soothing, massage and 'marry me.'

The dining room was very something. I can't quite find the right words.

Maybe rustic elegance.

It was built in a circular pattern to invoke the feeling of the working parts of an old grist mill. Lots of stone and wood, which I like. Of course I had to sit there and analyze its construction.

Again, a spectacular view overlooking the water and an island.

The dining was Chef prepared, with the emphasis being on the preparation and presentation. You had all your major food groups represented, steak, lamb, pork, veal, chicken and seafood. I shied away from the steak, as it was advertised as a 9 ounce, and that would have been an appetizer for me. I selected the veal with pasta, and it was grand. The pasta was done in a garlic butter and Parmesan sauce that tasted as if I had made it. My Darling Bride chose the pork tenderloin and veggies. The loin was tender and tasty, but the veggies were more arranged than served. I guess I'm not cultured enough for the fine dining experience (or the prices). Dessert for me was a 'Chocolate Disaster' of ice cream, ground up brownie and chocolate sauce served in a champagne glass. M.D.B. had the blueberry crumble, served in a coffee cup with ice cream and ornately drizzled with chocolate and caramel.

We did not partake in the spa part of the spa, as bookings did not jive with our schedule, but we did peek into the area. The pool was smallish, and the hot tub smaller, but with the Jacuzzi in the room, it wasn't needed.

If I had to find complaint about the experience, its that the resort's layout is very strung out, and someone with mobility problems would find it tedious to get around.

The other complaint: that we couldn't stay longer.

Thanks to Thing 2 for the life experience getaway, and to Thing 1 for the spending cash. Luvya both.

If you get the chance, we can now recommend The Inn at Christie's Mill.

DJW

Todays Lesson Is...

...Make sure you know who you are talking to.

Last week I was given a job at work, laying out a sewer in Oakville. Nothing unusual about that, it's part of what I do. As an addendum to this task, I was asked to hand out notices to area residents and businesses about the upcoming construction. That task is usually reserved for the inspector.

Well, circumstances intervened and the letters didn't get delivered. No sweat, I thought, the inspector could deliver them when he made his initial pre-construction survey of the site. I gave the letters to the inspector and explained that I hadn't had time to deliver them, and pointed out that it was part of his job anyway. He was non-plussed by this.

The next morning I answer my phone and get this, "Why didn't you deliver the letters?"

No hello, good morning, or, "Hi it's Fred."

Just, "Why didn't you deliver the letters?"

I pointed out that I had told him yesterday why not, and he carried on. The conversation quickly escalated into a yelling match and I finished the call with,"Why don't you get off your lazy a** and do it yourself! HAVE A GOOD DAY!" and I snapped my phone shut.

After calming down for a few minutes, I decided to call my boss and let him know about this. I left him a voicemail saying, "Joe, its DJ. I just had a run in with Fred. Give me a call."

A few minutes later, Joe calls back. I started to explain when he cut in, "I didn't appreciate being hung up on."

Silence

"That was YOU? It sounded like Fred!"

"I have a cold."

After I delivered the letters I bought my boss some cold medicine.

The lesson: make sure you know who you are talking to before you tell them to, "HAVE A GOOD DAY!"

DJW

Lawyers...who needs them?

A piece in The Hamilton Spectator goes to show some of the problems with our legal and justice system.

Seems a lawyer thinks a decision should be overturned because the Crown can't prove beyond a reasonable doubt that his client was acting carelessly before he struck a cyclist and killed him over two years ago.

Never mind that he had another careless driving charge two months later.

Never mind that he had amassed fourteen thousand dollars in fines in the last ten years.

His client is not guilty, because no one was there to see the accident, therefore the cyclist may have swerved in front of the truck.

Never mind that victim was a competitive cyclist who would be well in control of his bike.

Never mind that the victim's family has suffered the same tragedy as if he had killed on duty.

Read the story here.

Why is this guy still driving?

Why is this guy not in jail?

The reason that I could never be a lawyer is that I could never find it in my morals to defend someone like this.

To quote Shakespeare , "The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers."
(2 Henry VI, 4.2.59)

DJW

Uh oh, he's talking politics!

In light of the fact that we are currently immersed in Politicking from all sides, I feel the urge to express my views.

Firstly, I feel that I am a typical Canadian voter; I am apolitical. Not what you expected from me, was it?

That doesn't mean I'm apathetic, it just means I'm not a card carrying member of an organized party.

There are no signs on my lawn, nor will there be. It's nobody's business whom I support.

I don't consider myself red or blue or green or chartreuse or whatever other politico stripes you can be.

As Joe Average, I have a few basic expectations from the people selected to run my Country.

When I go to bed at night, I wish to sleep knowing that while I dream impossible dreams, the status quo is maintained. Maybe even improved a little.

Not much to ask.

I do not want to wake up to skyrocketing gas prices.

I do not want to wake up to a devalued dollar, either by design or by chance.

I do not want to wake up to double digit inflation.

I do not want to wake up to interest rate hikes.

I do not want to wake up to higher taxes. Or new taxes. Or taxes disguised as tariffs.

I do not want to wake up to find my tax dollars going to bail out another multi-national corporation.

I do not want my elected officials to waste time fighting amongst themselves and calling each other names, they should have gotten that out of their systems in grade 7.

I want my politicians to tell me what they are going to do for me, not what the other guys are going to do to me.

I want real time health care. Why should we have to wait interminably long times for tests and procedures that we have already paid for with tax dollars? And why should hospitals need to have bake-sales for equipment?

I want the Native Land claims issue sorted out. Would you want to own property within The Haldimand Tract right now? I do. And although my tax assessment doesn't reflect it, I'm pretty sure that the Native Protest Camp 600 meters out my back door has had a negative impact on my property value.

I want real support for our Armed Forces. They need ships and choppers and tanks and weapons NOW. The Governor General can wait a few more years for a bathroom remodel. Tell her to cross her legs.

I want rights and power taken away from the criminals and given back to the police.

I don't want you to promise the me sky, because I know you can't deliver it.

I just want the real time day to day crud to go a little easier.

If you can promise me all or most of the above, you'll get my vote.

DJW

How do protesters decide which sites to target?

I have a question for the HDI and its friends: How do you select which sites to protest?
You have delayed development at several large commercial, industrial and residential sites, but Tim Hortons and Boston Pizza, both within sight of the river, go on unfettered.
Is there a dollar threshold you apply?
Or do you support coffee and pizza?
Just curious.

DJW

This just in....

Listen...for all of you who think I make this stuff up, this is reprinted (read stolen) verbatim from Yahoo News.

Lewd, crude vandal leaves his greasy imprint on Nebraska town

By Nate Jenkins, The Associated Press

VALENTINE, Neb. - Boy, how people here wish their busiest vandal would find another way to make his mark.

Beginning more than a year ago, some man has been skipping from one business to another at night, pressing his naked behind - sometimes his groin, sometimes both - on windows.

Store owners, church workers and school janitors have had to wash lotion and petroleum jelly off the windows he selects.

Police Chief Ben McBride says it's the weirdest case he's ever seen.

Some residents of Valentine, a town of about 2,650 people, find some humour in the strange vandalism and have taken to calling the perpetrator the "Butt Bandit."

But they also can't help but cringe when finding his marks.

"We were completely grossed out," said Kalli Kieborz, who works in a downtown building. "One day I walked into the office and an employee said, 'Oh, my God, we've been struck!"'

The police chief is far from amused.

"It's not funny," McBride said. "We're worried about the next step."

It started in spring 2007, when the window of a Methodist church was greased with an imprint. McBride figured it was a high school prank. But the church kept getting hit, even after police staked it out.

The bandit struck business after business, window after window last summer.

Then he - and maybe, McBride said, copycat vandals - stopped over the fall and winter.

"People said he was done," McBride said. "Then he started back up this summer."

During one particularly brazen session, virtually all the windows at a local hotel were imprinted.

McBride said no one has reported seeing the vandal in action. The only clue is a blurry picture of him caught by a surveillance camera at the middle school last year.

The man was six feet tall or slightly taller, and slender. He had a dark complexion, and McBride said the man's dark hair was styled in a "1980s, feathered look."

Valentine, in remote north-central Nebraska, promotes itself as "The Heart City." Downtown sidewalks are painted with hearts, and locals encourage people from around the country to send their Valentine's Day cards to the local post office so they can be mailed out with the word "Valentine" stamped on them.

"This is not normal behaviour for Valentine," Cherry County Attorney Eric Scott said. "It's not funny or something people want to be exposed to."

DJ here...

Now what gets me is not the fact that this guy is doing this, and that the local paper is reporting this, but the national news wires have picked this up!

Now, I've never been to Valentine, Nebraska , but a map of the town would indicate it compares in size to Ayr or Acton, Ontario.

So it would seem to me that if they merely posted an image of one of the 'tags', at least one female in the town should be able to I.D. the offending parts.

My guess is that its the local druggist, otherwise a red flag would go up by the purchase of a lot of Vaseline.

Horatio Caine, Nebraska needs you!

I leave you with a comment from a Yahoo reader:

Valentine"s vasoline vandal has a limited window of opportunity before being exposed and will have to bare time behind bars.

POSTED BY: Flin Flon Man on SAT, SEP 13, 2008 12:35 AM -0500

DJW

Some driving advice.

The Q.E.W. is one of the busiest highways in North America.

Every once in a while I drive that way to work to remind myself why I don't drive that way to work.

Some observations and advice from my most recent trip:

• YOU in the Beemer: HANG UP AND DRIVE!
• YOU in the Honda: This is not Formula 1 and you are NOT Micheal Shumacher.
• YOU in the Acura: The on/off ramps are not your personal passing lanes.
  
• YOU in the Buick in the left lane: either pass the guy on your right or get behind him. Geeze dude, you're holding up everyone behind you.
• YOU in the Audi: Flash me one more time and you'll get a face full of my spotlight. If the Buick would pass I would too. This isn't the Autobahn, Gunther.
• YOU in the SUV: BACK OFF! Your headlights are the same height as my back window and your blinding me!
• YOU in the Gravel Truck: Your following that Smart Car too close, and your brake lights are too dirty to see.
• YOU in the Semi: That is not a Honda your piloting, Skeeter! Pick a lane!
• YOU in Olds: The limit is 100, not eighty. If you can't get it up to speed, get off.
• YOU in the overloaded construction pick-up: Get a second truck or a trailer. Idiot.
• EVERYONE: Leave enough space and we wouldn't have those daily chain reaction rear enders that slow down every other decent driver.

There, I feel better now.

See you on Highway 5.

DJW

A day at the beach, a night by the fire.

The "Out of Office" message on my e-mail reads, "Life's a beach, and thats where I am."



If summer only lasted one day (and for the last few years that's what it seems), I would spend that single day at the beach.

We did just that this week.

In days of yore we would call friends, throw a cooler and some towels in the car and go.

Now it seems that we have to plan this as an annual event and arrange around everyone. One of our friends Facebook'd to her kids to get a turnout.

As we don't get much time to do stuff like this anymore, we tend to go overboard.

Now it's an event. And we like it that way.

Yesterday we were first on the beach (as usual) and staked our claim, secured our territory and set up camp. We had enough food for the a school football team, shade shelter, music and the Bag-o-Fun!

And the beach was marvelous. Warm without heat or humidity, breeze, sand and surf.


Kelsy the puppy sprang from the car to the water spent more time in the water than anyone else. Gleefully bouncing after the ball and romping over the waves. (see video below)


My Darling Bride didn't get sunburned, and Thing Two did, but no interesting pattern this time. Thing one made her huge sand castle and walked for hours.

There were people dumped out of the dingy, and my kite flew this year! In fact, it almost beat the Wright Brothers record!

Dinner rocked. Not just my homemade burgers, My Darling Bride prepared half a grocery cart of fresh fruit and veggies, there was a cooler full of cold drinks, and Jane and Rob roasted a beef on the beach. We don't do things half way, you know.

The remnants of the BBQ were used to start the campfire, a necessity to roast hot dogs and make smores.

The light show was two-fold, the 63 million stars you can see from there (we counted them) and the glowstick theater put on by David.

Friends, sun, sand surf and a campfire.

In the end, we left the beach as we found it, empty.

Till next year.

Um, what month is it, anyway?

It's August by my calendar.

I've used 2 vacation days since May. (and you thought civil servants had it easy) One of those was because my car broke down on the way to work.

I'm off next week and I am going to the beach. Its what you do in August.

I went to buy some beach toys tonight, they are fun to have at the beach in August.

I wanted some buckets and shovels so I could make sand castles at the beach in August.

I went to Buck-o-Rama and Dollar or Two to get stuff to play on the beach in August.

I found Hall-o-ween costumes and decorations.

A note to retailers...

...ITS FRIGGIN' AUGUST FOLKS.

On a more positive note...

...I'll be the only one with Dracula fangs and a fake axe in my head on the beach in August.

DJW

L. Ron Hoover , where are you?

Frank Zappa fans know who L. Ron Hoover and the Church of Appliantology are.
The rest of you, don't worry about it.

What this is really about is appliances, and the brats they can be. (right up there with cars, dogs and offspring)

You've all read the saga of our water heater. Some may argue that it is a fixture, not an appliance. Po-TAY-toes, po-TAH-toes

Like most couples, when we started out, a new appliance was one that was new to us.

Our first washer /dryer combo was an Inglis Liberator set the same age as My Darling Bride. The Westinghouse upright freezer was from the 50's and we only got it because the previous tenants couldn't afford the crane to move it. These units worked like a charm right up to the day we replaced them with brand, shiny new toys.

We went through a series of $75 fridges and stoves (Almond or Harvest Green, usually)
Our toaster oven is a monster, big enough to rotisserie a whole duck or 2 chickens, and I bought that at a yard sale in 1989. The dishwasher was a hand me down from an in-law, a portable that we made a built in.

Our first brand new appliance was a microwave oven, given as a wedding present.

BBQ's are indeed an appliance, (a necessity if you have a Y chromosome), but ours were all hand-me-downs as our friends and family got new ones.

Now, a sidebar. We are bad savers. The only way we get ahead is by forced savings via payroll, and we end up with a nice tax refund every spring.

After more than 10 years of using the tax refunds to catch up on bills and complete renovations, we started an appliance replacement program in 2002. The ancient washer/dryer was first to go, and brand new full size stacking front loading automatic washer and dryer took over the job of 2 loads a day.

What a miracle! It took less than a day now to do laundry!

An added bonus: our water and electricity bills dropped immediately.

At the same time, the 11 year old microwave that kept blowing fuses was replaced with a bold, black and stainless 1.2 cu ft 1200 watt bad boy.

The following year, it was the Big 3: fridge, freezer and stove.

Black. All black. Black hole black. Sucks-the-light-out-of-the-streetlights-black.
Black doors, black bodies, black handles black knobs, black glass top, black range hood.

You get the idea.

Last spring, in a vestige of male-ness, I replaced the tiny almost Hibachi sized BBQ with a ginormous stainless steel, cast iron grill, 2 gazillion BTU BBQ. It even has hubcaps! I could use it as a back up forge if needed.

All top name brands, top of the line and with warranties.

We shouldn't have to worry about them for as many years as the old ones, right?

Not long after the water heater adventure, the microwave popped whilst popping popcorn.
6 years old. Just a baby.

In a busy house like ours, it is a necessity, so we trundled off to Wally-mart, as we were also low on cash. It was smaller than we had, but a brand name (rhymes with Royal Canadian Artillery), and had a two year warranty.

Around the same time, water started leaking out of the bottom of the fridge. I first suspected the door seal, which did not pass the paper test for tightness, and I replaced it.
Just over 5 years and 2 months old.
$65 for parts. Turns out the overflow tube was also blocked. I cleaned that out myself.

Later that same week...

...while a pot roast was cooking, the oven started making a morse code of beeping noises and quit. Not only did it quit, but the door lock came on and our dinner was trapped!
Our oven ate our dinner!
We managed to free it from the beast after cutting and restoring the power, but it was a close call. The error code it was flashing on its digital display indicated 2 possibilities. The least expensive of which was $200 for parts.

Again, just over 5 years and 2 months old.

Two weeks ago, the microwave again. THREE FRIKKEN MONTHS OLD!

Last week, the handle broke off my BBQ.

Sigh.

Why can't we build appliances to last 40+ years anymore?

I know.

If they lasted that long, you won't have to buy them as frequently. Kind of a job security program I guess.

Except that I won't replace the offending units with the same brand.

BTW, the $15 mammoth toaster oven still works fine.

...and it looks just like a Telefunken U47!

DJW